Doin' Dirt

“Please tell me.” I whisper as I lean on his shoulder. I don’t know but I know there’s something in me that’s developing for him. It might end good or worst.

“It happened this way-“

“So? How’s my cookies?” He was about to say something but my annoying aunt cut him off. Oh how I wanna punch her so hard. I close my eyes, annoyed by her.

“It’s great.” Harry gives a small smile and my aunt proceeds to the kitchen bringing with her the plate of cookies she baked.

“Here you go. Have some more.” She smiles and takes a bite of her own cookie. I smile at her and just lean on Harry. “So?” She raises her eyebrows, smiling.

“So, what?” I ask as Harry takes my hand and plays with my fingers. I let him do what he wants. I never see this side of him and I like him this way. I can feel his head on top of mine and I’m in a comfortable position right now.

“The two of you. Are you two dating?” She mindlessly asks. Why would she think of us that way? Did she suspect it? Duh! You dumb-ass! Look at you and Harry right now! Oh gosh. Don’t be that dumb. My subconscious face palms herself with my most ridiculous question. Oh right. Shit, when did I became so dumb? I lightly squeeze Harry’s finger letting him know on what I should do.

“Just tell her.” He mumbles. I look at my aunt and she’s still eating cookies and looking at us.
“Tell her what?” I look at our hands.

“That we’re dating. It’s okay.” I can feel him smile and my heart flips a warm jump. He wants me to tell my aunt that we’re dating even though we’re not. Why do I feel all tingly inside?

I look at my aunt. “Uhmmm- yes. We’re… dating.” I give her a warm smile.

“Really? How long?” And she keeps on asking and we keep on lying.

-

It’s eight in the evening, my mom isn’t home until ten and my aunt is already asleep. I’m here at the balcony of my room, with my notebook on my lap as I sit on my porch thinking words I could form to write.

It was magnificent. He made it so easy for me to feel the fall. To make me sketchily lie on his arms. To let me be hushed and affected. And I, dumbfounded to let myself be carted away with the passions I have for him. I’m just hoping, that to the one I’ve given my all… he would be worthy of me and not make a tragedy ending of my never exultant life. But I’m jovial of him. I will allow myself to like the odious. To try to accept entirety.

I hear a slight knock on my door and I see Harry standing on the front door of my little portico.

“Can I?” He asks, asking permission if he can join me. I nod and he sits beside me. “What are you writing?” I close my notebook immediately but he grabs my hand with the gentlest manner.

“Nothing. It’s just a compilations of my hideous poems.” I let out a small awkward chuckle as I pull my notebook closer to me.

“Can I read some?” He looks at me in the eyes.

“Uhmmm..” I look at him. “Some are quite personal. Well, all of them.” I blush crimson.

“Please?” He coaxes and I sigh in defeat. I nod and he smiles.

-

“So, some poems are all about me?” He smiles and I return one back. “They’re all lovely.” He takes my hand.

“Tell me.” I look into his eyes and he takes a deep breath.

“Okay.” He scoots closer and I let him. “I had a friend. Well, she’s more than a friend. You know what I mean.” He looks at me and I nod. “Well, we used to be very close. I treat her a way a boyfriend should treat his girl.” He sighs.

“You know you can stop if you want to. I’m sorry.” I grab his hand and he looks at me.

“It’s okay. I wanna continue.” He lets go of my touch and continues. “All I never knew is that-“ I can see his eyes sparkle under the moonlight. “Me. As in me. A guy. Well, this might be happening to some but why in the whole fucking world me?! I was scammed. Like, with my very own friends and with the girl that I used to call my own.” I know he prevents himself to shout but I try to move closer and comfort him and he lets me.

“Harry…”

“She used me for pleasure where I gave my love to her? And my whole friends were there watching me because they video-taped it. Me, in my naïve self before. They laughed, the whole video leaked on our group and she, she didn’t care at all because she was with my fucking best friend the whole fucking time. And to let his girl sleep with me and I think it all was true.” He groans and puts his head in his hands and pulls back up to meet my eyes. “After that, that’s where I made my revenge in a way to let girls feel what I’ve felt but when I saw you at school months ago.. you were my next victim because I thought of you as untouched, innocent and I don’t know but there’s something in you. Then, when I came into this house a few days ago… well, some were lust but I can’t retain it that way. You make me be the way I am before… weak and devotion.” He holds my cheek and I touch his hand with my shaking fingers. “So frail and robust at the same time. Different. And the sentiment that I had you, makes me blissful and true.” I smile a little and lean in closer.

“Were you the Harry?” I ask. I never knew Harry's past is so hurtful.

“I always am.” He replies. My heart did a little jump when he finally lets everything out. He leans closer to my ear and brushes his lips on my earlobe. “But I still want to do dirty, love.” I can feel goosebumps on my skin and my stomach tightens as he said those words.

“Hmmm.” I hum as we both connect our lips together. “I like that.” I smile as our kiss never broke.

“I know you do, love.”

Notes

sorry for the late update. i'm so busy and tomorrow i have my graduation pictorial. so gladly, that i've updated today. i'll publish my next update on sunday! love you, message me anytime. the comments section is there for you guys to comment. thanks.

- d r e a

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