Pretend It's Ok

Melinda sat down with Gharram catching up on the latest celebrity gossip and news - which was real to say the least, because Gharram knew the industry inside and out. Both Melinda and Gharram had things to say, but rethought about telling one another. Not because of the lack of trust, but because Melinda felt Gharram had enough to worry about and Gharram was conflicted about what it was she was feeling.

Gharram knew that she didn't love Harry as more than a friend. Or at least she thought. Every time Harry's name flashed on her phone her heart would race and her palms got sweaty. Melinda could see it in her face after the third missed call Gharram received.

"Are you going to answer that?", Melinda inquired with narrowed eyebrows.

"What...", Gharram's head sprang up. She looked at the flashing phone that she had been looking at with hesitance a few seconds before Melinda commented. Gharram shrugged, "Um. It's not important."

Melinda quirked her eyebrow, "It's Harry. What if it is?"

"Trust me. It's not.", Gharram smiled faintly shaking her head.

"He called about three times though.", Melinda stated with a confused expression.

"He's probably just bored. So what was it you were you saying?", she smiled at her distraught friend hoping that she would change the subject. But knowing Melinda...

"If he was bored, he would've texted you.", Melinda pointed to the phone.

"No, I know Harry.", Gharram rubbed the back of her neck. She noticed that her hands were sweating more than usual. "He's just...", she sighed. "...bored."

"Gharram.", Melinda looked at her questioningly. Gharram hesitated to meet eyes with Melinda. "Gharram you so lik-..."

"NO I DON'T!", Gharram shrieked in defence. "I DON'T LOVE HIM, OKAY?!"

"Sheesh. What is your problem?", Melinda crossed her arms over her chest.

"No-nothing. I'm stressed.", she exhaled deeply. "I'm sorry. It's been a long day.", she weeped.

Melinda relaxed her expression and smiled faintly, "You're good."

"And you?", Gharram glanced up from behind her hands.

"Why wouldn't I be?", Melinda laughed faintly.

Gharram cocked an eyebrow, "Well you seem distracted almost."

Before Gharram had arrived, Melinda had fought with Zayn. Things were getting worse for the couple. Far more worse than she could withstand. Zayn wasn't arriving when he should've been. He would walk in stumbling over himself, jacket hanging on his shoulder and mumbling stupid nothings under his breath. Sly, snarky, immature comments towards Melinda and she pushed it all aside and did what she had to; wash him up, change him, feed him the correct meal, give him medication, tuck him in in front of the TV and pray in her room before she heard his snoring.

Zayn would keep pressing her buttons, until satisfied with how much annoyance she could endure. He would continue poking her - figuratively speaking of course. He would constantly be at her neck about everything (chores, cooking and, of course, sex) and she knew that it was just his stress levels overpowering his mindset.

That's what she liked to believe anyway. Zayn didn't care in general. In the end of the day, Melinda was his wife and as a wife she was supposed to do as he said. Zayn was in the wrong. He didn't know how his constant remarks could effect Melinda. Zayn was hurting her way more than he could imagine.

Melinda was slowly breaking. Slowly deteriorating. Starting not to care. She was a ticking time bomb and nothing could stop her from her enormous detonation.

"I'm...I'm good.", Melinda itched her head. "I'm fine. Hamdillah.", she said plastering a smile on her broken face.

Gharram's face was expressionless. Sarcastic almost. "You're so not good."

"Why you say that?", Melinda's pulse quickened with uneasiness.

Gharram rolled her eyes with a giggle. "Its obvious.", her eyebrows furrowed in irritation.

"What are you talking about?", Melinda's voice rose as if in defiance.

Gharram was taken aback by the quick snap, "Whoa there..."

"I'm just saying.", she continued with the same stern hard tone. "I'm fine. He's fine.", Melinda continued. "We're fine."

Secrets. Secrets soon began filling the room around them. Catching up and girl's night soon turned into catching each other. Both girls hid the two biggest issues in their lives from one another. The tension, irritation and stress from it all was soon releasing on the both of them.

"Doesn't seem like it.", Gharram shrugged placing a chip into her mouth.

"How do you figure?", Melinda rested her chin onto the palm of her hand asking sarcastically. "Just like how you don't have feelings for Harry? I mean, your judgement is so clear!", she added out of annoyance.

The mention of Harry and her feelings brought Gharram at the edge. She wasn't the type to mess with and she didn't care who it was that was talking to her either. The pang in Gharram's chest grew and she wanted nothing more than to just punch Melinda square in the face at that moment. Her face slowly turned to Melinda who was also waiting for an answer.

"Excuse me?", Gharram sprung up from her seat astonished at the audacity Melinda had.

"You heard me.", Melinda got up from her seat.

Gharram's voice would gradually raise, "There's nothing in my heart towards Harry and its none of your business anyway." She pointed her finger in her best friend's face, "Don't you have a marriage to pay attention to? Because from where I'm standing, its failing."

Melinda's eyes were wider than dinner plates, "There's nothing wrong with my marriage." She heard a huff of laughter escape from Gharram. "You're so arrogant and so into yourself to realize what the fuck this boy feels for you!", Melinda shot back.

"Don't you dare sit here and talk about feelings and relationships to me, Melinda.", her voice rose along with her chest from the fueled anger.

"Why the fuck not?", Melinda bit back with one eyebrow risen.

Gharram chuckled darkly, "You don't know the first thing about fucking relationships. You've never been with anyone but Zayn and even that isn't working."

Melinda was seething with rage with her hands on her hips, "Oh, because you know everything there is to know about feelings." She looked her in the eyes with the back of her's stinging. Melinda's voice got quieter, "You don't know what it is to love or care about someone who is more than just a friend. You refuse to even know the definition of love."

Melinda's heart beat rapidly as thoughts of Zayn and her before marriage streamed into her mind. The sound of his laughter filling her ears, his smile that brightened up the darkest days, his inappropriate comments that had her insides in knots and his genuine nature...

Where had it gone? When did Zayn leave behind his real self? Why had he left himself in the cold and brought back another person with him?

Melinda sniffled back a tear, "Love is being with that person almost everyday. Taking care of them, sleeping next to them, waking up with them by your side, being there for them at their worse and best...."

Both stayed silent recollecting their thoughts. Melinda wiped her nose feeling agony sink back into her chest. Her heart was racing and her eyes stung more with each tear. Gharram sniffled as well narrowing her eyebrows and looking away from her. Gharram wasn't the type to cry - especially in front of people. She swallowed what felt like a lump in her throat. How could she be so dumb as to not know? How could she ignore his signs, when he tried so hard for her to notice? She knew deep down inside, but Gharram didn't want to believe it.

Harry was in love with her. She couldn't do a thing to change it.

Melinda's words sunk into her. Gharram knew exactly what it was Melinda was talking about. She spoke from the heart and Gharram listened with her heart. Gharram was falling more rapidly than she knew. She didn't realize it yet unfortunately. She didn't want to. Gharram wasn't ready.


Nor did she want to be.

"I...", Gharram started. "I-uh...", she had no idea what to say. Her mind was a mess. "I'm sorry."

Melinda plopped back onto the sofa sobbing, "I don't know what to do, Gharram." She cried into her sleeves, "I do everything I'm supposed to. Everything. I clean, cook, bake and make every night as interesting as possible." She shook her head biting her lip, "What the fuck else am I to do?"

Gharram sat beside her rubbing her back in comfort, "Melinda, sometimes its not your fault." She pulled her in for a hug, "You're doing what you're supposed to. Right?" Melinda nodded. "You do everything he asks. Right?"

Melinda glanced at her, "Everything."

"You give it to him good. Right?", she nudged her playfully.

"I know I do.", Melinda wiped her nose laughing at the subject.

"So, its not your fault.", Gharram stated waving her arms in the air. "You whore.", she looked back at her realizing the last thing Melinda said. "But seriously...its not."

Melinda then thought for a second. She had every right to yell at him, scold him, bitch at him, bite back... The question was, did she have the strength for it? Yes. And was she going to do it. Fuck yes.

"What do I do then?", she crossed her arms her head still resting on her best friend.

Gharram hummed in thought. "Isn't your special day coming up?" Melinda nodded gazing at the diamond encrusted band on her ring finger. "Then dress sexy for him and make him dinner. Make it a surprise though."

"Alright.", Melinda said adjusting herself upright. "Isn't the ceremony for your wings and Diwali coming up?"

Diwali is a Hindu religion. The festival of lights. It is celebrated for five days.

"Mhmm.", Gharram replied yawning.

"I'm not gonna be here for your party.", Melinda frowned. "Zayn has to get back over there for some meeting."

Gharram's eyes shot open, "Harry never said shit."

Melinda laughed hysterically, "It's not for One Direction. I don't know what its for yet."

"Oh. Okay.", Gharram calmed herself down. "That's understandable."

"Let's just hope Harry doesn't bail out on you.", Melinda grabbed her sandwich in her hands taking a bite. "Or all hell will break loose."

Gharram joined her and ate a slice of pizza, "True. Diwali is after that. I love Diwali."

Melinda wiped the corner of her mouth, "It's pretty cool. I like all the lanterns you guys use. Are you going to be here or in London?"

"I'm not sure at the moment.", Gharram was in thought drinking some soda. A burp escaped her mouth and both girls laughed at the loud belch. "Maybe I'll be in Hindustan.", she said with an Indian accent. "Dance in the fields with SRK (Shahrukh Khan; one of Bollywood's most famous and renowned actors.)."

Just like that both girls set aside their differences. They were just like sisters. Sisters argue, but always end up making up right away. If one was wrong, the other would help her find a solution. They were there for each other. Always. No less and maybe more than that.

Gharram on the other hand, hoped that Melinda wouldn't bring up Harry again and her emotions towards the situation. She didn't need to have him on her mind and conscience. She didn't want to spoil her night. Gharram hated the feeling. It was so alien to her. But something inside of her was sparking. Soon she would realize just how bright that spark was.

Notes