Pretend It's Ok

After the little fiasco at Gharram's suite, Harry decided it was best to just walk it out. Letting out all the feelings of confusion out, that is. Harry was conflicted for the most part, which is normal to everyone. Yet he was never aware of how strong it was. Not yet at least.

He headed over to the nearby Starbucks to get his mind off her - Gharram - and eat something for breakfast. Alas, Harry couldn't help but think of her. Everything he seen, read or did reminded him of her. He hated himself for feeling and functioning this way. Harry wasn't as play boyish as everyone presumed. Not at all. People who really knew him, knew him for being sensitive. All the clubbing, drinking and 'after parties' were just a cover up. More like a distraction actually.

Distractions. He wished he could. Harry knew nothing could make it go away. He started losing hope in it all. It was useless. The feeling was too strong. Each day the feeling got stronger.

Harry was painfully falling for Gharram. He knew it would happen sooner or later. Harry wasn't fully aware of how bad it would hit him, until it did. And boy, did it hurt. More than he imagined it would.

Harry hated himself and hated that she shoved him in the friend zone, but it was only human for him to feel such a thing. He hated being human. He knew how to hide it though. Sure he would drop the occasional hints every now and then, but Gharram would laugh or play along. She was blind to his open gestures and comments towards her. Harry loved their friendship nonetheless. He wouldn't let anything come in between it. Not even his selfish feelings.

But is falling in love ever considered selfish? Never. Love is just a brick wall that refuses to move until you are ready to break through it. Harry was still building it up, higher than expected.

"Let me have one caramel coffee, please?", he ordered without glancing towards the menu.

The brown-haired cashier smiled gleefully, "Is that all you'll be having today Mr. Styles?" She obviously had recognized his identity. Who didn't?

New York had it's pluses. The main one was being able to walk around without anyone causing a commotion and fuss over him or them as a group. Harry loved the attention of all the females and loved having some room to breathe. Always being bombarded with cameras and screaming fans wasn't so fun all the time. Luckily for Harry, it was normal to New Yorkians to see huge celebrities walk around in the crowded street.

Harry nodded with a lopsided smirk at the very attractive worker, "Yes, thank you."

"No, thank you.", she winked at him turning away to make his order.

Seeing the cute worker, he rethought everything he had begun to think. Maybe trying to move on was best for him? Harry knew that nothing would break through Gharram's single life anthem. Nothing. He took it all as a green light to go on his own way. So he did what most guys do when in front of a beautiful girl. He studied the worker at the front cashier - maybe a little too hard.

Her chocolate strings hung below her shoulder blades in waves. Streaks of red peeked from behind her deep chestnut locks. His eyes darted lower noticing her - what seemed like - firm bum. He nodded to himself in approval. She turned around and her piercing green eyes locked onto his. Now noticing the worker, who he learned's name was Brooke, his heart skipped a beat. Her eyes screamed something new to him. A welcoming almost.

"Here you go, sir.", she passed the foam cup over to him.

Harry wrapped his fingers around the warm foam cup, "Thank you." He finished with his signature lopsided grin. As he turned towards the opposite direction, he reversed. "Wait..."

Brooke turned her head back to him with wide eyes and brought back her smile - coated with two perfectly deep dents -, "Yeah."

His heart was soaring. "I want one more thing." She gave him the okay to continue. "Lunch. With you.", he walked closer to the counter.

Brooke's eyes widened more and mumbled, "I-I uh... I don't know what to say." She giggled childishly with crinkles in her eyes.

"Yes? Please.", Harry smirked at the effect he had on her.

"Um...sure.", she said reaching in her apron pocket for a pen and paper. "Here's my number.", she scribbled on the small white square.

"Alright.", he took it from her. His fingers lingering on her skin longer than it should. "I'll text you with the details."

Brooke's cheeks flushed a bright pink and her bright smile returned. He couldn't help but to think that something about this dimpled, brunette girl reminded him of someone or something. Harry shrugged the thought off and walked out thinking of his lunch with beautiful cashier.

Meanwhile with Gharram, she decided that seeing Melinda would only be appropriate. She hadn't seen her since Melinda arrived back to New York. Gharram gathered her slingback purse from her car and walked out of it closing the door behind her. She strutted everywhere she was. It was natural. The way Gharram walked was a way of letting everyone know and aware of who the hell she was exactly.

Going into the lobby of the Hilton she took off her sunglasses and noticed a quaffed head of black. She rolled her eyes knowing exactly who it was.

"ZAYN!", she hollered at the door. The tall tanned man turned towards her and smiled. "DON'T YOU FUCKING SMILE AT ME!"

Zayn furrowed his eyebrows and walked towards her. "What I do?", he pointed to himself.

"You know damn well I don't like you.", she pointed her index finger at him.

No one acknowledge them. Everyone knew how Gharram's character was. No one really messed with her. The worker and residents walked pass them like it was normal.

"What. Why?", he walked closer to her.

Gharram held her hand up towards him signalling him to stop a few inches from him, "Shut up." Zayn's head moved back a little. "I didn't like your performance."

Zayn tilted his head cocking an eyebrow, "I thought it was-.."

"I said shut up, didn't I?", Gharram interrupted him basically giving no sign of respect. Which in all honesty, he didn't deserve. "You need to calm your fucking pants down on stage."

"I performed like I was supposed to.", he said as if he was questioning himself.

Gharram rose an eyebrow, "Um...no. No, you didn't." She imitated some of the movements he had done. "That's... not... what... you're... supposed to do...", Gharram started to thrust her hips behind an unsuspecting by stander earning a weird look from Zayn.

"I didn't do that.", he said in a higher octave.

"You did. You did.", she put her hand in his face again. "You forgot that your wife was in the audience throughout the whole damn performance."

Zayn rolled his eyes taking his phone out, "I don't have time for this." He touched the screen looking at it, "I have to go."

"You seem to be doing that a lot as well.", she shoved past him.

"What's your problem, Sharma?", he seethed turning around towards her.

She turned her head towards him with a stern expression, "You." Gharram looked him up and down in disgust continuing to the elevator.

Gharram cussed under her breath throughout the elevator ride. She was fumed. Fumed to the point that she didn't care about anyone's feelings. The main reason. Zayn. Gharram was getting sick of his snark attitude especially towards Melinda. Melinda hadn't told her of their problems, but she could tell by how her best friend's expression was at the show that this wasn't the first time Zayn disacknowledged her. Gharram felt she should say something, but not too drastic. She simply wanted to hint it to him. Gharram despised the feeling of her friend being put down. Gharram was always there for her no matter the problem. She wouldn't let anyone hurt her, even if it is her husband.

The ding of the elevator sounded and Gharram walked out with the thought of having a girl's night with Melinda. She finally calmed herself down. Walking around the corner and down the hall, her phone began to ring in her back pocket jolting her upwards with a yelp. When Gharram realized it was her phone, irritation erupted in her brain. She wanted to be left alone tonight. "Ugh.", she grunted loudly. "Hello?!", she rolled her eyes not paying attention to the caller ID.

"Gramz!", the deep voice seeped into her ear making her heart flutter. That's weird. "Where'd you put my shirt?!", the husky tone was gasping for air as if they were running a marathon.

Gharram knocked on the door once still registering the caller and with a tiny creak, Melinda's face was visible. "HAI GIRL HAI!!", she screamed greeting Melinda causing Harry to wince on the other line. "Oh and Harry...", she paused breaking from Melinda's hug abruptly. "Your shirt should be next to the bed on the drawer."

There was a moment of silence and a thud, "Ouch." Gharram held the receiver and laughed hysterically, "I got it! Thank you."

"Of course. See you later.", Gharram said giggling and locking her phone.

Her best friend stood there cocking an eyebrow in interest, "What's all that about?" Melinda crossed her arms waiting for an explanation.

Gharram shoved her phone in her back pocket, "What you mean?"

"You and Harry live together?", Melinda rose an eyebrow.

Gharram laughed playfully shoving her best friend, "No, he just spent the night at my suite."

Melinda narrowed her eyes at Gharram, "And he asked you where you put his shirt?"

Gharram rolled her eyes with a sigh, "Yeah, because he slept next to me."

Melinda made an 'o' with her plump lips and both eyebrows rose, "Did you guys..."

Gharram's eyes increased in size at the question, "NO, YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT I REFUSE TO DO THAT UNTIL MARRIAGE."

"Huh...", Melinda huffed. "So you and Harry are just friends?", she questioned her with narrowed eyes.

"Why wouldn't we be? You know how I am." She walked over to the couch and kicked off her short black ankle boots to the side.

"Well, from all the tabloids and picture edits the fans make, it seems like you guys aren't.", Melinda walked into the kitchen grabbing some comfort food.

The sky outside had darkened. The gray clouds rolled in quickly and soon the rumbling of thunder followed. Melinda gazed outside the window thinking of Zayn. Him and her had gotten into another fight. Things were getting worse between the two. She didn't know what to do. She thought surrendering would just be the best way to handle it. She kept it the way it was, because there was no point in it. Arguing back was just adding more wood to the fire. Melinda hated how Zayn acted when he was annoyed and angry.

Tonight was about her and Gharram. Catching up. Melinda thought against telling her what's going on with her marriage. Not yet. Melinda didn't want Gharram getting the wrong idea of Zayn, even though Gharram has one of him for herself.

Melinda grabbed two tubs of ice cream - chocolate chip cookie dough (Gharram's favorite) and mint chocolate chip (Melinda's favorite). She dug for two plastic spoons, three bags of Cheeto's and a twelve pack of cherry Seven Up. She carried it all on a huge plate and set in front of Gharram - whose eyes were as wide as saucers now at the fat, acid and oil feast in front of her.

"You want me to order any room service?", Gharram's head turned up towards her with risen eyebrows and a dropped jaw. "It goes to Zayn's account anyway...", Melinda shrugged and stood waiting for an answer. Just as quick as she asked Gharram, she answered for her instead. "Yeah, maybe we should...", she nodded grabbing for the tan colored phone dialing the number.

Gharram sat there with a confused expression at Melinda's careless attitude at the brought up of her husband's name. She wasn't stupid. She knew something was going on. When Melinda wouldn't care about a certain person, it was only because that certain person was irritating her. Gharram giggled to herself thinking of ways Melinda could terrorize him. She reached for the tub of ice cream and smiled widely.

"Hello.", Melinda sang into the receiver. "I'd like a large cheese pizza, a dozen spicy wings, some fries, one foot long chicken sandwich and the most exquisite cheesecake you have to offer.", Melinda studied her nails avoiding Gharram's alarmed eyes eating the ice cream slowly. "Hm.", she tapped her index finger on her chin thinking. "Yeah, that's all. Thank you.", she hung up with a huge grin and sat down next to Gharram.

"That was a huge order.", Gharram said with her mouth full.

Melinda shrugged carelessly grabbing for the remote, "Eh. So, what's going on with you and Harry?"

"I told you already.", Gharram set her tub of ice cream down. "Nothing.", she grabbed for a can of pop.

"Gharram...", that was Melinda's way of saying that she was serious. "There's gotta be something. I see how you guys look at each other in these pictures."

"What pictures?", she sipped on the can feeling a tickle in her nose from the acid. "They're just pictures."

"So, you're telling me that after almost two years of friendship - close friendship consisting of: clubbing, drinking, sleeping together, walking outside together, watching movies all night together, speaking your minds to one another and being with each other every second you guys can -, you don't feel anything?", Melinda rested her chin on her balled up fist that was placed on her thigh.

Gharram's facial expression turned into one that Melinda found only familiar when she was in deep thought. Which was rare seeing as Gharram did everything at the spur of the moment. What Melinda said was true. Harry was there to pick her up after too many drinks. Harry was there when she had a bad day at work. He was there to help her if she felt the media life was too much to handle, because he was the only who could understand. Harry was the only one - besides Melinda - who cared for her opinion on things and cared about how she felt about certain things. Harry would be there with the snap of a finger.

Yes, true friends are there when you need them, but when your friend walks into your door, soaking wet from the heavy rainfall outside, in the middle of the night, with no form of transportation, with a huge bag of chocolate and classic Yash Raj and Karan Johar films in his hands (who by the way doesn't understand a word of Hindi and researched the film productions on Wikipedia), what is that labeled as?

"N-no.", Gharram hesitated about it. It being Harry. For once, Gharram hesitated about how her and Harry's relationship was. The feeling was strange. Her stomach was beginning to flutter with thousands of butterflies. "NO!!! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FEELINGS FOR HIM!", she mentally screamed at herself. "REMEMBER ALL THE RULES YOU SET. THE BOUNDARIES YOU CREATED. YOU'RE FINE BEING BY YOURSELF. YOU DON'T NEED ANYTHING MORE THAN THAT!"

"Gharram...", Melinda waved her hand in her best friend's face.

Gharram could feel her eyes turning pink, but ignored it leaving the feeling alone. "Harry knows his boundaries. I set them. I basically friend-zoned him." Melinda nodded her head in understanding. "I'm fine by myself. I don't need anyone, but you."

"And Harry...", Melinda finished her sentence hearing a knock on the door break their emotional girl-talk. Melinda got up to answer the room service.

Gharram couldn't have feelings for him. She refused to. Nothing would ruin the friendship between the two. Nothing. She loved how everything was. She never wanted anything to change. Gharram hated change more than anything - especially when it had to do with the people in her circle (which wasn't many). Gharram loved Harry in a way that wasn't explainable. Melinda triggered a thought in her head that soon changed her whole output on her, him and life in general. She could hear the pattering of rain drops against the window and distant rumbling of thunder. She sat there in deep thought about him. Was she fine? Yes. Truly fine? Gharram didn't know. Did she want more to what they had? Not at all. Did she need it...? That was another question with a different meaning in a whole new different ball game. One that she didn't want to play. Little did she know, that soon she would be next on the plate.

"And H-Harry.", Gharram stammered finishing her sentence. "You're fine being by yourself. You don't need anything more than what you have with him!", her inner voice calmly reminded her.

"Not yet at least...", Gharram said under her breath.

Notes