Melinda smiled at her husband with pure joy filling his cold heart with the warmth that once use to reside within him. She held his hand only for it to be pulled away from her instantly. He looked to see what caused this and seen that a crowd behind her slowly tugged her away from him. Zayn's smile faded. As much as he screamed he couldn't be heard. Tears rimming his eyes watching as his wife, his soul mate, his strength and weakness let go of him with furrowed eyebrows painted on her face.

"Zayn...", Melinda asked more than stated.

He could hear the agony in her voice hit him like a stab to the heart. Zayn'a throat swelled up with regret. He couldn't do a thing about it. He was frozen in place.She held on for dear life as she was being pulled away from Zayn.

She gaped into his eyes as hers began to water, "Zayn, don't let them hurt me. Don't let them take me away."

Zayn's teary eyes were fixated with confusion staring at the unfamiliar faces pulling his wife into the darkness. One face familiar and stood out more than the rest. It was himself. Zayn seen himself as one of the dark figures tugging Melinda out of the light.

"Zayn...where are you...", she screamed crying with all her might hoping for a response. Zayn tried talking and it was as if he was mute. "Where are you Zayn?", she continued screaming until she was nowhere in sight.

He reached his hand out as if she was going to grab it on instinct. Nothing. Tears freely fell from his eyes as the one thing that kept him truly happy was taken away from him. His hands covered his face when he stood alone in the shadows sobbing for his love.

What was he to do now?

"ZAYN!", one last heart shattering shriek was sounded.

*Zayn*

I woke up in a cold sweat running a hand and through my hair. My heart was beating outta my chest as I calmed myself down. "It was just a dream...", I said turning my head to look out Niall's bedroom window.

Something in the atmosphere wasn't right. My chest felt heavy and I felt light headed. I looked to see Harry next to me on the bed sleeping like a baby.

The room was much colder than normal, but Harry didn't seem to mind it. Or maybe it was just me experiencing this chill. I started today's usual routine. Either way I was starting to deserve the horrible cool atmosphere. I regret leaving Melinda. I hate the fact I didn't remember our anniversary. I mentally slapped myself when the thought came up. I was scared to talk to her. I was wrong in the situation. I failed as a husband. I know. I know. I didn't fight for her to stay...well for me to stay. Which is what I should've done.

I walked out the door to see Niall eating breakfast, Liam chatting with him a plate full of scrambled eggs and Louis lounging about on the couch. I could smell Niall's bacon and I cringed at the smell of pork.

Ew.

I scratched my head... 'Something is definitely not right.'

"How you feeling mate?", Niall asked with a mouth full.

I glanced at him with slight anger written across my face, "I got in a massive argument with my wife, got kicked out my flat and haven't had sex in a few weeks. How do you think I'm doing?"

"Listen, Zayn, why don't you just call her and work it all out.", Liam suggested poking at his eggs. "I mean...this isn't just any girl. This is your wife."

"She probably doesn't care...I'll pass. Gotta take a shower...", I stretched my arms out ignoring the grunts coming from an aggravated Niall.

I felt my hand was a little lighter and as I continued my stretch I paused furrowing my eyes together. My heart dropped as I stared at my empty wedding finger. My eyes widened and mouth dropped pulling my hand in closer to my face observing it as if I was going nuts and just seen a ghost.

Niall and Liam both staring at me, "What's wrong?"

"It's not here...but how?...I never took it off.", I began to vigorously and violently look for it. "This has got to be some kind of joke..."

"What is it man? We'll help you.", Louis sprung off the couch after I launched the blanket across the room. "Zayn...", I ignored him flipping the couch cushions over. "Zayn...", he called me again and I avoided him searching under the couch. "ZAYN!", he yelled grabbing my shoulders. I gave him my full attention, "What are you looking for?"

"My wedding ring!", I said lifting my hand up to show that it was missing. "Help me find it!!", I pushed him off me continuing my search.

That ring meant more to me than anything in the world - besides Melinda. It symbolized my bond with her and I lost it. I didn't even know how I lost it, but I did. I mentally beat myself up for this. I would never be able to live with myself, if I didn't find it. Getting another wouldn't be the same.

All four of us searched the entire condo. Not leaving one spot missing. There was still one place....Niall's room. I busted the door open and Harry had awaken.

"Hey mate...", he said with a groggy voice. "What are you doing?", he said struck with bafflement.

I unzipped my suitcases flinging every packed item across the room with some landing on a half asleep Harry. "My wedding ring...", I continued rummaging through Niall's belongings to make sure it wasn't hiding from me.

"You mean this...?", Harry pointed to the desk next to the side of the bed I slept on.

My eyebrows were knitted together at where it had been. I slowly got off the floor dropping my jeans and walked over to the nightstand distraught. My eyes were glued to what the ring laid next to.

"You probably left it there after reading", Harry suggested.

I quirked an eyebrow not registering a thing in front of me, "But...but Harry. I wasn't reading in here."

"Are you sure...because that was in here before you broke the hinges of the door.", he exaggerated.

I lifted the book in my hands - The Holy Koran. I felt an electric current surge through my veins. "Harry, I was reading outside next to the TV because that where I was praying and set it next to the remote.", I felt my heart drop again. I actually stayed up almost all night crying for god to help me and advise me with my marriage. I made sure with the boys and they all had agreed that the book was never moved. Was this the work of Allah? Is Allah trying to tell me something?

There was a page folded inwards - not where I stopped reading either which made this a whole lot stranger than it should be - on a verse said about marriage.

"And of His signs is that He created for you, from yourselves, mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought." (Koranic Verse 30:21)

I picked the circular silver band in my hands remembering the real meaning behind it. Peace, love, respect, honor, honesty and care were promised before placing these on our fingers.

Tranquility and affection had gone out the window. I disregarded my wife and never gave a second thought about her when I needed to the most. Regardless of how tired she was, she still managed to have all the household chores done before I got home. She made sure that I was satisfied in every which way and I treated her as a shadow in my life without noticing. Abandonment is the worse thing for a spouse to experience. I didn't deserve Melinda, but I needed to show her that I would never abandon her like this ever again...

Tears welled up in my eyes as the thought of her not happy and alienated killed me. I thought of Melinda crying in her lonesome in the late hours of the night asking his why did she put up with me.

I placed the ring back on my finger feeling a weight being lifted off of me. I could kind of feel the warmth radiating back into me. But then the feeling came back. Something was wrong... I didn't know what it was, but I hope it would go away.

"Zayn...Zayn. Melinda...Melinda.", Niall ran in holding a newspaper.

My eyes skimmed through the page widening with each sentence. I couldn't read anymore moving my now overflowing eyes away from the tabloid, "No....No...." I murmured to myself, "This...this is all my fault."

Without so much as hesitating, I grabbed for my jacket and headed out the door. The life of my so-called success finally hit her. Her anxiety returned and I wasn't there to help. I really hated myself for this.

I called for a cab and told him urgently to drive me to the hospital. In the taxi, all I could think about was Melinda lying in the hospital bed lifelessly. Was this how it felt seeing me at my worse? I never wanted to feel this again. I prayed whispering tiny Muslim chants to myself holding my hands up near my face as my throat began to swell again. I felt my eyes being engulfed with a sea of my regrets.

I hate myself. I hate myself.

*Author POV*

His heart pounded against his chest at a rapid rate that could be alien to any human being. Eyebrows furrowed and his face was nothing but a mixture of confusion, regret, grief and hate towards himself. Slapping his forehead, he exhaled frustration within himself. He couldn't stand his reflection at this point, so he ignored looking at himself through the rear-view.

The pounding against his rib cage increased - it was as if his heart was trying to escape him.

At this point, he didn't care if it did fall out of him that very second. He felt as though death should be the suitable punishment for his arrogance and ignorance with world around him. He didn't deserve to be here right now in this taxi cab in the middle of a traffic jam. He didn't deserve the tremendous achievements and success that came with One Direction. He didn't deserve the love from everyone around him - family, friends and fans. He didn't deserve all the money, cars and he most certainly didn't deserve his wife. Yet, he did deserve the pain in his body, mind and soul.

The whole world of fame came crashing down on him. He ran his fingers roughly through his hair puffing air into his lungs and blowing it all out rubbing his eyes.

His palms sweat from all the nerves and suspense caught in his spine. He could barely keep himself in the cab much longer as the agitation got into his skin. He needed the cars to move faster than they had been before - which wasn't anything at all.

The traffic ahead of him was too slow for his liking. If any movement at all. He stared at the digital clock in the radio player impatiently tapping the door handle of the back seat he was in. He licked his lips from the dryness. As much as he did, he couldn't get the dryness taste out of his mouth. He could feel his hands quaking in his lap with his legs. He sighed closing his eyes trying to relax himself, but it was a fail. He couldn't stop thinking about how he had been and his actions towards her.

Everything was wrong. He was wrong. He had no right to be the way he was. No right at all.

Zayn held his face in his hands crying silently. Thought to himself mentally beating himself and hating everything about him for what was going on around - not having a clue how he had effected his loved ones...one. The few tears rolling down his cheeks suddenly became streams. The taxi driver sat silent behind the wheel knowing exactly what went on. He bowed his head feeling pity towards Zayn.

No need to ask and no need for explanation.

The dots of rain appeared on the glass beside him. He stared at each one falling from the sky his patience growing even more thinner - if possible. Sniffling, he gazed at the heavy traffic cursing under his breath.

"Come on..", he repeated under his breath.

Zayn's leg shook violently eager to rush it all. His waterline was flooded with tears loosely hanging from his long lashes. The pain in the back of his throat refusing to leave him. It felt like boulders resting in his esophagus. Regardless of how much water he drank, nothing could make the hurt go away. Zayn left alone seeing as he deserved any punishment that came his way.

His pulse quickened as he felt his heart at his throat thinking back at what had happened.

The pain in the pit of his stomach increased thinking of her beautiful smile. She use to radiate a warm feeling in his chest every time her lips curled upwards into an innocent grin. The glitter in her eyes when she'd blush from his compliments made a sob escape his mouth. He use to be the reason for the brightness that illuminated from her, but that all faded. She hadn't been the same and he finally realized that it was him. He let his pride down and came to the conclusion he was one hundred percent at fault.

Zayn couldn't take it anymore.

Opening the cab door, he shot out like a bullet. The taxi driver didn't need to ask. He let him go do what he had to. What he thought was best. Zayn ran. He ran with all his might crying to himself thinking of her. Luckily, the rain had fallen in heavy droplets covering the pain and tears overflowing out of his eyes.

"I'm coming...", he said in a raspy tone - as if she could hear him - continuously running.

He passed each car that was parked in the traffic jam. Everyone failing to realize that it was Zayn Malik from One Direction, until they actually focused on the figure sprinting. He ignored the fact that camera phones were taken out pointing towards him.

Nonetheless, Zayn continued running feeling his calves slowly burn the back of his legs. Ignoring the pain, he pushed through it. Nothing was going to stop him. Nothing at all. The rain making it easier for him to continue cooling his ligaments down when needed.

He then remembered something she had said to him.

"Grandmother always use to tell me something if I needed help. She said that if you felt alone and needed guidance and assistance, to ask Allah for it and it will come quickly to you. Because in the end, Allah is the only one that will help you and will be there for you."

He couldn't bare the it anymore and stopped feeling a sharp pain jolt through his leg. He screamed in agony and fell on his hands and knees. Zayn stood there for a moment crying. His knees on the ground refusing to move. He sobbed repeating her name and how sorry he was. Zayn Malik was at his weakest point. Everything meant nothing. And he didn't feel anything.

He looked up to the sky throwing his arms up in defeat sobbing and exhaling. He could see his warm breath form in the cool rainy air. Zayn shivered a bit the cold now catching up to him. "Allah please help me...", he begged under his breath.

The sudden pain his thighs and calves subsided. His adrenaline kicked in again causing him to run at a faster pace than before.

He had reached the beginning of the traffic jam. There had been a tiny motorcycle accident. He stopped in his tracks seeing the scene in front of him. Zayn remembered his accident and shivered. He shook his head trying to forget about it. He then turned his head to a another taxi - this one had been a mini van. The back seats had been empty, but he had been hesitant to enter. He slowly walked over to the cab and the door slid open automatically as if for him to walk in.

Like he had been waiting for him.

Zayn furrowed his eyebrows tears resting on his lashes again. He had no time to mentally decide if he should walk in the strange taxi van. He noticed the Islamic pendent hanging from the rear-view mirror and stepped into the vehicle - trusting that that pendent meant more than just a decorative piece.

The driver's focus was in front of him waiting for his turn to drive through the traffic signals onto the main service road.

Zayn inhaled as much breath as possible to speak, "T-to the..."

"I know.", the driver spoke before Zayn could finish. Zayn kept his eyes on the man with the thick beard. His heart felt more at ease, if anything. Before the driver made any movements he brought his hands up at eye level. The man recited a tiny prayer into his hands and finished by saying "Allah hu Akbar."

Zayn repeated the mans actions and whispered to himself, "Allah hu Akbar." The pang in his chest lessened. He felt safe and warm in the mini van. Like nothing could harm him. "I'm coming.", he repeated again closing his eyes.

And again, but in a whisper. "I'm coming..." The last few tears falling down his cheeks.

*Zayn*

"We're here sir...", the driver stated after a few minutes and I handed him the amount I owed him. Well I thought I did. I don't remember and at this point I didn't care.

At this moment, it was slow motion as the paparazzi swarmed in asking me questions. I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't function right. All I could see was a wall of my agony taking over me. I shoved past the cameras heading straight through the door. I automatically went to the front desk mumbling and stuttering asking where is she placed.

I ran my fastest down the halls feeling all my walls close against me as well. Every room filled with heart conditioned patients waiting for the doctor to hand them their diagnoses. My heart dropped when I seen the last door at the end of the hall.

I walked slowly looking at the door. Tears returning taking place if the ones that fell as I stared at her expressionless. This is what I have done. My fame, my lifestyle, my arrogance. How could I have focused on making so many people in the world smile and making her the last person on my mind. Her smile was supposed to be the first one to make and I failed. I failed as a husband.

I am so ashamed.

I walked over dropping the bag I had carried just in case I need information with me. I let go of my jacket not caring if it touched the ground or not. I ran my fingers through my hair messing it up in every which way. Everything around me was blank, but I could see that the room was dimly lit. The chair next to her bed was empty so I decided to sit down.

Tears hanging off my lashes threatened to fall as I stared at the tubes attached to her nose giving her oxygen to breathe. Her eyes were closed, but I could see the pain that she felt once I had left - I always had a sixth for her, but for the past few days they've been off. I then mouthed her name hoping that maybe she would wake up.

The light streamed through the curtains and a bright flash blinded me slightly. I covered my eyes wincing and finding where the source had come from. I then seen that Melinda was the primary source. I intertwined my fingers into hers staring at the diamond that sealed our life for eternity. I ran my thumb against her cold soft skin.

"Melinda...", I began talking and feeling the lump in the back of my throat. "Honey, I uh....I know you probably don't wanna see my face...or hear my voice...", I swallowed what felt like rocks. "Baby, I am sorry. I was wrong.", I sobbed watching her IV and hearing the heart monitor beep. "I should've paid more attention to you. I took for granted and look what I've done. I'm so sorry. Just tell me you forgive me please.", I cried heaving all the pain out of my chest holding onto her hand as if it was my last. "I'm sorry.", I continued crying and pleading to Allah for forgiveness and help.

Notes