Just as Much

Erica's POV

"Ian, can you get that?" I ask him as I'm washing the dishes. Probably the neighbor asking for more sugar, she's apparently making cookies and didn't have enough.


"Yes ma'am!" Ian and I are waiting for Sloan and Raven to get here, we're all going out tonight, it's Saturday. "Niall!" I freeze. No way. No way he's here right now.


"Hey Ian." All the muscles in my back tighten as I'm suddenly aware of my loud tribal patterned leggings, off the shoulder white sweater, hair in a crazy high bun. The girls were going to help me get ready for tonight. Ian just came over early because he was bored at his parents. I slow my breath as I listen carefully. Putting the plate I was washing back into the soapy water, drying my hands on a close towel. I close my eyes, I'm not ready for this. Not prepared for this. "Hi Erica." I turn to see him. He's tired. Flying cross Atlantic will do that to you, but his face looks more tired then just tired from a flight. I notice his hands twitching, he's nervous. Probably not very excited that Ian is here.


"Hi Niall." I have a slight smile as I adjust my glasses, my eyes have been hurting from my contacts so I didn't want to wear them until later.

"Um, I'll see you later Erica. I'll call Sloan and Rave, we'll just meet you out?" He breaks the awkward silence in the room and I just nod.


"Sounds good Ian. Sorry." I apologize for Niall's sudden appearance. I had no idea he would be here. He nods at Niall, walking around him, closing the door as we just stand there in silence. I don't know what to say, where to look, I'm suddenly very aware of my hands.


"Sorry if I interrupted your plans." Niall fumbles with his backpack.


"It's fine, just having some friends from work come over and then we were all going to go out later. We still have time." I shrug as if it's nothing. It's so odd how quickly things can get awkward. Four months ago, the tension in the room would be non-existent. "Do you want anything to drink?" I walk back into the kitchen, shielding myself in the kitchen from close contact. I can smell him, that familiar smell brings me home. But it can't be like that.


"Just some water would be great." He smiles as he drops his bags and sits on a stool across from me, resting his arms on the counter. I turn my back to him, reaching for a glass to fill with a little ice and water before handing it over to him. He takes a sip as I just stare at him. I slightly begin tapping my fingernails on the marble counter tops.


"So, what are you ding here Niall?" I just let it out. No use avoiding the subject anymore.


He finishes his water and sets it down, leaning down and reaching for his bag, pulling out a copy of Farewell to Arms and tossing it on the counter. I pick it up and look at him.


"Thank you, but I already have a copy." I slide it back to him with my index finger.


"No, it's mine. Zayn gave it to me for my birthday." I still regret not wishing him a happy birthday, I kind of did through twitter but I'm sure he never saw that. Of course Zayn would give him a copy of my favorite book. I'm sure he never read it though. "It was hard to get into but I finished it. He's a brilliant writer." I stand shocked. Niall doesn't read. I mean, he can , he just doesn't like to, he'd rather do other things. I notice his body moving, I know his leg is twitching and he's just as nervous like usual, it's not a new things for him. He always seems to be nervous when he's around me and I'm tired of it, no reason for him to be nervous around me.


"So what did you think?" I ask. I'm actually quite interested to hear what he has to say, I'm sure Zayn helped him go through the book, I'll have to thank him for that later.


"This is a rotten game we play, isn't it?" I stand frozen. He's just quoted Catherine from the book. I can't believe it. Catherine is talking about how she's admitted her love for Henry and he's admitted it as well but he's lying and she sees right through him. "I understand how Henry feels when he can't see Catherine, how he's lonely and hollow." I'm suddenly confused, he just shows up at my place and now all the sudden he's quoting Hemingway, and I'm left wondering where this is going. I quick check, I know he's not high. He doesn't do that stuff anyway.


"I don't understand Niall." I finally tell him.


"Do you feel like your life will end like the book?" He asks and I narrow my eyes.


"That I'll die after childbirth?" I ask confused. This conversation is insane to me. I have no idea why he's here, he's spouting off random quotes from a book I've read.


"No, that you'll be alone." He pauses and plays with his hands a little bit. "I'm afraid that I'll be alone, like Henry. He does everything he can but his life is still shit in the end."


"But he loved." I remind him. "He loved her and she loved him. Eve if it was for a short time it still happened." I feel like I'm in English class, reviewing a story chapter by chapter.


"But she died." He emphasizes his point.


“Niall, it's just a book. A book someone made up, loosely based on his life. His wife had a difficult labor and delivery with an emergency c-section. Both his wife and baby lived. You know that right? Hemingway was a tortured soul.” He was, his life was lived knowing that inevitably he would die, that we all will die. No one can live forever. We are all born, and we die, everything in between is up to us.


“Are you still with Ian?” His out of the blue question takes me back and I can't help but laugh.


“No. I was never with Ian. I mean, we went on a few dates but he was never my boyfriend.”


“Why was he here?” God, I wish he wasn't always so nervous.


“Because he's happily dating my co-worker and friend, Sloan. We were all going to meet here and get ready for a night out.” I glance behind me to look at the clock on the stove. “Which means I now have like an hour to meet them.” I look at him, studying his expression. “You have plans? Do you want to join us?' I ask nervously. I still have no idea what his plans are but I just have this pull towards him.


“Is that okay?” He asks cautiously.


“Well I wouldn't invite you if it wasn't. How did you even get in the building?” I ask.


“Oh, an older lady. Just let me right up.” He smiles, that smile. God I've missed that smile.


“Mrs. Fitzgerald, of course she would.” I laugh. She's like a cupid, tries to be anyway. “Well, I'm going to go shower and get ready. Feel free to get your things together and use Heath's bedroom, he's out on location in Alaska this week.” I inform him as I walk to my bedroom, suddenly letting out a huge breath, I hadn't realized I'd been holding it in after all this time.


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“Holy shit!” Sloan grabs my arm and takes me away from the table. “You little liar! What the hell is Niall Horan doing with you?” She looks at me and back at him several times.


“Um, he's my friend?” I make a nervous smile. I've still never told them and apparently Ian never did either.


“Your friends with Niall Horan from One Direction.” She crosses her arms and glares. “I fucking hate you.” She laughs, I know she's joking anyway. “Why didn't you tell me?” Her voice goes up at the end, making me laugh even more.


“Because I didn't want you to act like this.” I gesture to her actions.


“Well, how do you expect me to act?”


“Lets just get back to the table and hang out. You two can be friends!” I try to make it less awkward but I know she's overly excited.


“You think he'll be okay with being the father of my children?” I bust out laughing.


“Oh my god Sloan.” I roll my eyes as Niall gets up and lets me slide in the booth. Ian and Sloan across from me, Raven had a change of heart and went out with some other people from the Society. I'm sure she'll regret it later.


“Let's have drinks!” Sloan cheers as the waitress comes over and starts our order.


Before we know it, hours have passed and we've had more drinks then I've known what to do with. We're all laughing, Ian and Niall are getting along famously, keeping us girls in stitches with their story telling.


“Erica, I have to pee, come with me?” Sloan stands and wobbles a bit in her high heals as Niall scoots out of my way so I can stand, helping me up.


After we fight our way to the crowd and wait in line in the bathroom, Sloan turns to me. “So you and Niall?” She asks and I shake my head.


“Nope.” I wash my hands and we walk back out to the hallway.


“Why not? He's been looking at you all night!” She grabs my arm. “You two are super cute. You could be Niall Horan's girlfriend.” She tells me, I know we've had too much to drink.


“Well thanks, but he can't tell me his feelings and I've put myself out there before and got nothing.” I shrug as we get in ear sight of them, Sloan doesn't push it.


“Sloan, let's head out.” Ian tells us as soon as we arrive at the table. Sloan looks at me and back at him.


“Why?” She asks, I'm not aware of any tension. What happened when we were gone?


“I have to work in the morning and it's already eleven.” He looks at his phone and scoots out of the booth.


“Yeah, I'm pretty tired too.” Niall stretches a bit and stands, hugging Sloan, shaking Ian's hand. “It was nice to meet you Sloan, and good to properly hang out with you Ian. Sorry about all the tension back in August.” I bite back my smile. This is the nice Niall I know.


Ian and Sloan leave as Ian turns to me. “I should get back.” He tells me and I nod. Suddenly very aware of eyes on us. “I left some things at your place, it's just a few blocks, can I walk you back and get them?”


“Yeah. No problem.” I turn as my skin burns with Niall's touch on my back. Even through the clothes. Once the cool air hits us we start walking in the direction of my place, I'm suddenly very aware of Niall's fingers twitching next to mine. I take the liquid courage leap and lace my fingers with his. He doesn't pull away, doesn't look at me but I notice his adam's apple bob up and down a bit.


We walk in silence, all the way back to my place and all the way up the steps. I've taken my heals off as soon as we get to the stairwell, my feet aching. I drop them off by the door as soon as I close the door as Niall shuts it.


I turn to bid him goodbye and suddenly his lips are on mine. Crushing mine to be exact. It takes me mere seconds to respond as my hands go up around his neck and his arms pull my body closer, wrapping around my waist. I can taste the shots of whisky we took on his breath as our lips move, our breathing increases when I feel his tongue probing, I bite his lower lip making him moan.


“Bedroom?” He asks, pulling away. I nod and turn away as he wraps his arms around my waist, my back pressed to his stomach, I turn my neck as he plants small kisses all over me as we move to my room.

Notes

So...ahh?! Thoughts? I'll update tomorrow, it's a little shorter than normal but I think you'll still like it. Then a break for this lady, I'm in need. :) Hopefully this copied and pasted all right, I was having some issues so...we shall see!

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