"Breanne don't you say that! You deserved to live!" Zayn said with tears threatening to escape from his eyes but they didn't. "that guy took my father's life away from me! I should be there with my father or he should be alive right." I spat at him. "Breanne you didn't die for a reason. I know your father was a  one of the few people you trust but he lived his life he has a beautiful daughter, his life was complete when he died. You still have a lot to go through before you die." he said intensively staring into my eyes. "but Zayn i just laid there paralyzed, not moving. I should have got back up and kicked the gun out of the guys hand. I could've saved my father's life." I yelled. "Breanne. shhhhh calm down. I know you feel like you are still the reason for his death but it's not your fault." he said wrapping his arms around my shoulders. "I just can't help but to think it's my fault." I sobbed into his shoulder. He ran his fingers through my hair. "well you need to stop." he kissed my forehead.  "Damn Zayn why do you always know what to say?" I said in all seriousness.  He just chuckled then said "we better head back." he stood up I grabbed his hand he had out to help me up. We started to walk back to the tables. I had death grip on his arm. "relax." he whispered. I loosen my grip on Zayn's arm and went to go back to my spot by Louis. "how about we go out tonight because Breanne got a job with our label!" Louis cheered. "you guys can go. I would like some alone time you know?" I said "no no no." Natalie started but I cut her off. "go have fun! Party, get shitfaced! I'll be fine." I said looking at her. She knew I needed time alone. "Breanne come on it's been 2 years since we have seen you and last time we did see you after our X-Factor tour we only  saw you for like 4 days out of the 2 months we had free!" Harry complained.  It was true I missed hanging out with the boys. I just need a little time. "I know Harry. But I will be awake when you get home. Plus I will be here the whole time you are visiting... I promise."  I stared into his eyes pleading that he will just go. He sighed then nodded his head. The waiter came over to our table and took our orders. We sat in silence for a couple minutes as we drank our drinks. Then Natalie broke the silence.  "so are you guys completely free the whole 3 months are here, or do you guys have things you have to do?" Natalie asked "well we have to do a few interviews, meet and greets and then there are award shows and things like that." Niall answered. I was looking at him. We made eye contact with me for a split second then looked away. It kind of hurt me that he won't look in my eyes but maybe it's because I have been trying to avoid him. The food came of course I ate the whole thing before anyone  else besides Niall we finished about at the same time. We made an awkward eye contact. He have me a smile which made me blush. He nodded towards the front door. I guess he wanted to talk.