Stephanie's POV

I've locked myself in my room for most of the day. I haven't been able to eat or to face anyone, I'm just emotionally drained. How am I supposed to get over this? Harry doesn't realise how much I'm hurting and how much I hate him right now. Okay hate is a strong word but it sums up perfectly to how I feel about him.I can't believe I spent all that time writing him a poxy letter. Whilst he was out and sleeping around, I was trying my best to express how I felt. I feel so stupid now.

My phone starts to ring but I don't bother looking over at it. I don't want to speak to anyone, I just need time on my own. I suddenly think of the job I applied for and I quickly panic as I can't miss that call, so I look at my phone, it's Chloe. I sigh as I ignore it and it soon cuts off.
Oh no, I forgot I'm supposed to go for drinks with her tonight. All the drama with Harry completely side tracked me and now I have to find energy for Chloe.

I could really do without going out later, maybe in a way it will be good for me to get out with some friends, but I'm not sure how much of a front I can put on. My phone rings but indicates I have a text, so I pick it up knowing it's most likely Chloe and I'm right. I text her back as it's about what time we are meeting.

"Steph.." Dad says as he knocks on the door, I don't bother saying anything as I know he's just going to come in anyway. I look up to him as he closes my door. "You okay?" He asks.

"I'm fine." I lie as I look at him, he nods and looks away awkwardly. "What's Up?" I ask.

"Your Mum told me what happened with Harry, I know this isn't great timing but I found some recordings that he made." Dad says as he looks back at me. I shrug as I look away from him. The last thing I want right now is to hear his voice, even if he does sing beautifully.

""I'm not interested Dad." I say as I look down at my empty lap. He walks over to me and sits down.

"It's easy to hate somebody for their mistakes, but hate can hide so much love that he has for you. Hearing his songs I think can remind you of how he feels about you." It's really weird to hear him say this. I know he's fond of Harry but at the end of the day I'm sure he wants to see his daughter happy.

"I really do hate him right now." I say and my Dad nods and stands up.

"When that hate dies down, come and listen." He says as he leaves my room. I sigh as I can't deny the thought of hearing Harry's voice again will capture my heart. I sigh as I fall back onto my bed.

---

Harry's POV

I've never felt so glad to open the door of our flat. I head into the living room and stop as I'm greeted with decorations, the tree is up in the corner. Louis looks at me proudly, he's in his football kit, I'm guessing he had a match today.

"Well what do you think?" Louis grins proudly.

"It's good." I say with no enthusiasm. Louis frowns and hands me an angel.

"I know we did it without you and I'm sorry I just couldn't wait, but we left the most important part for you." Louis says and I stare down at the plastic decoration in my hand.

"Okay" I say as I walk to the tree and I put the angel on the top."There." I say as I look back to Louis. He smiles and folds his arms.

"Hey, you're back!" Liam smiles as he walks in. "How was your weekend back home?" He asks as we all sit down on the sofas. I shrug as I scratch the back of my head. They both look at me with puzzled looks.

"It didn't go too well." I sigh as I look away, how am I supposed to explain what happened? I don't even know where to start.

"I gather you did not get back with Stephanie?" Louis asks and I look at him and shake my head.

"I fucked up massively." I say and Louis frowns.

"How? You weren't there long enough for anything to go wrong." Louis adds and I look away ashamed as he's so wrong.

"I wish that was the case Lou." I sigh, I can feel their eyes on me but I avoid looking back at them.

"Do you want to tell us?" Liam asks and I slowly look up to him. "Is it really that bad?" He asks and I nod.

"I'm not going to sugar coat it, so cutting a long story short. I slept with my ex yesterday and Stephanie found out. She came to say bye to me and to give me this letter explaining she wants to try again." I sigh as my own words annoy me. I look at them waiting for their reaction. Louis' eyes widen and Liam just sits forward and I can tell he's thinking.

"Do you still have feelings for your ex?" Louis asks and I feel a little surprised at his question.

"Uh, I guess so. But I don't feel as strong about her as I do about Stephanie." My answer even surprises me. "I was just so gutted when I read Steph's letter as I wanted her back so bad. I just lost my chance." I add and Louis sighs sympathetically.

"Not necessarily, I mean it will feel like that at the moment. But technically you've done nothing wrong. You may have acted slightly innappropriate, but you don't deserve to have this guilt resting on your shoulders." Liam says and we both look at him. I love it when he gives his point of view, he looks at situations from every angle possible.

"But she doesn't see it like that, she's really hurt." I say as I watch Liam slowly shake his head.

"Of course she's not, but soon she will. So many emotions are running through her Harry. She's full of hurt, anger, jealousy, disgust and plenty more. They are going to blind the truth for a while until she actually sits down and thinks about what has happened" Liam says and I nod at his words, man where has this guy been all my life.

"Yeah, you never cheated on her Harry. So she's just got to get over the fact you shagged your ex." Louis adds and I can't help but wince at his bluntness. "Sorry I'm not the most sensitive when wording things." He adds as he pulls an apologetic look.

"I know you're both right, but I know I'm in the wrong and I shouldn't have done it. I was supposed to be waiting for Steph and my actions make me look like I don't give a shit. I wish she could understand that I know I've done wrong but I've not been disloyal." I run a hand frustratedly through my hair.

"Then why not write back to her and explain how you see it. " Louis suggest and Liam nods in agreement.

"I'm hopeless at writing letters, I can express how I'm feeling through lyrics and that's hard enough." I sigh and Liam smiles.

"Why don't we help you write a letter?" Liam asks and I'm really not sure on his idea. Louis looks at me positively so I just nod hoping this isn't going to be bad idea.

---

Stephanie's POV

I walk through the pub doors nervously as o still wish I was at home. I'm only doing this for Chloe and to try and drown my sorrows. I scan the room and am instantly surprised that even Lucy has arrived before me. I force a smile as I approach their table.

"Hey!" Chloe smiles as she's the first to notice me. I say hello to all of them and I sit next to Lucy.

"Nice to see you again Stephanie." Zayn smiles and I remember him instantly.

"You too Zayn." I reply politely. I lookout the drink infront of me as Lucy explains they got me a Vodka and coke. I thank them as I take my first sip, the strong liquid burns my throat beautifully.

"I don't know if you remember, but my cousin lives with your brother. I was at their flat the other day, Jed sends his love." Zayn smiles and Chloe looks at me pleased that he's making conversation.

"Yeh I rememeber." I smile and we fall into a conversation of our night in London, I let Lucy take over as she starts to talk. I take another large sip of my drink.

Chloe looks at me and frowns as she knows I'm not completely myself tonight. I look away from her and finish off my drink.

"Okay, what's happened?" Chloe asks and I look at her in disbelief. "You're quiet and you look like you really don't want to be here. So spill." She adds and all eyes fall on me.

"It's nothing. We're supposed to be having a good night out, I don't want to drag my problems down on you guys." I sigh and Chloe and Lucy immediately start to ask more questions.

"Don't mind me.." Zayn smiles politely. I roll my eyes at the girls as I know they won't give up. Poor Zayn doesn't know what's going to hit him.

"It's Harry isn't it" Chloe asks and I look down at my empty glass wishing it would magically refill.

"Fine, yes it's Harry but I really don't want to talk about it." I plead as I know if we bring up what's happened it's just going to make things awkward.

"But how can we help if you don't tell us what's happened?" Lucy asks and I shrug.

"Another time maybe." I exhale as all I want to do is have some drinks. Lucy shakes her head and looks to Chloe.

"How about I get us another round?" Zayn asks taking their attention off me, they both smile.

"I'll help you." I say as I stand up and walk to the bar with Zayn. "Thanks for that." I say as I lean forward on the bar.

"No worries, I could you were getting fed up." He smirks and I look at him and nod.

"They just want to help but right now, I just don't want to think about him." I say and Zayn nods and we turn our attention to the bartender to order our drinks.

---

As the night goes on my head seems to get more and more clouded. Maybe drinking wasn't the greatest idea. Everyone else is pretty much drunk too, Chloe is all over Zayn and no matter how cute they are together, it still makes me feel a little sick. I'm kind of against relationships and loved up couples at the moment. Then there's Lucy who is talking to some guy at the bar, so I think the best thing for me tonight is to go home.

"Chloe, Zayn it's been fun. I'm calling it a night." I say as I stumble out of my seat.

"How are you getting home?" Zayn asks as he looks up at me.

"I'll get a taxi, speak to you tomorrow!" I say as I walk away from them. I dial the taxi number and order a taxi for as soon as possible.

"You can't wait on your own." Zayn says as he and Chloe follow me outside.

"I'm fine." I smile as I sit down on a seat. "Go back in and enjoy yourselves." I add and Chloe shakes her head laughing.

"You Stephanie May are too bloody stubborn! Just accept the fact that we are staying with you until you get your ass in that taxi." Chloe laughs and I roll my eyes smiling.

"So when you next coming to London then?" Zayn asks as he looks at us, Chloe starts to think and unfortunately I'm unable to control my bluntness,

"Not for as long as I possibly can." I snap and Zayn smirks, as Chloe starts to fill him in that Harry lives there he soon bites his lip shamefully.

"Sorry Steph." Zayn says and I shake my head as he doesn't need to apologise. He's not the one who's ruined everything for me. Uh Harry and his stupid ways.

"Your taxi is here." Chloe says and I smile as I notice the taxi pulling up. I quickly say goodbye and I stumble towards the car.

---

As soon as I'm home, I pause in the hallway. My Dad's words suddenly come back in my mind about Harry's songs. Part of me wants to put my dizzy head to bed but the other part of me wants to hear it.
I quickly open the studio door before I change my mind. I switch the light on and take a seat at the deck. I can't remember what I'm supposed to press but I start to flick through the switches and suddenly some music starts.
I lean back into the chair as a lump in my throat reappears as I hear that beautiful voice begin to sing. I close my eyes as I start to listen closely to the lyrics.

I got a heart and I got a soul
Believe me I will use them both
We made a start, be it a false one I know
Baby I don't want, to feel alone.

So kiss me where I lay down
My hands pressed to your cheeks
A long way from the playground

I have loved you since we were eighteen
Long before we both thought the same thing
To be loved, to be in love
All I can do is say that these arms were made for holding you
I wanna love you like you made me feel
When we were eighteen.

Notes

Hello Everyone!
Hope you like this chapter, I've been listening to this song in repeat for far too long :/
Please remember to leave a comment and tell me what you think!
Thank you for reading :)
xx