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The summer memory

Chapter 15

It started to rain on me when i saw him disappear again! I picked up his old guitar and started strumming to sing Heartache On The Big Screen. With the permission of the others. “please come back to me.” i whispered before i started to sing to the large crowd. Every Time i looked up all i saw was either white, red, black, or MICHAEL! “started out like in the movies but it ended like a bad dream curtain opened heard the crowd roar this ones a repeat seen it before. Rewind to the start before it all went wrong what’s going on? Fast forward to the end after everyone’s gone and they’ve forgotten it all. This ain’t a movie, that i wanna see a tragic story starring you and me, yell CUT we’re stuck inside this scene, this is heartache on the big screen.” i really felt like it was a heartache on the big screen. This depression i have been going through is too much. I don’t know how i survived without him. I looked back down at my dress and smiled as memories flooded my mind as i sang. I looked at the ring that is still on my finger and a single tear hit his guitar that had his signature on it. “The clock is ticking and i’m out of time the camera’s rolling and i forgot my lines, my script is ripped and now i see this is heartache on the big screen this is heartache on the big on the big screen. Curtain closes on this cliche a good story of a bad day back to square one where it started as i stand here BROKEN HEARTED fast forward to the end after everyone’s gone home and they’ve forgotten it all. This ain’t a movie that i wanna see a tragic story starring you and me yell CUT we’re stuck inside this scene” my mind flashes to the time Michael and i were sitting in my room on my bed and he was teaching me to play guitar. “This is heartache on the big screen the clock is ticking and i’m out of time. The camera’s rolling and i forgot my lines my script is ripped and now i see this is heartache on the big screen if hollywood could see me now id get the starring role but they won’t so i’ll just keep acting a fool. This ain’t a movie that i wanna see a tragic story starring you and me.” I am seeing him again, but this time it is every person that i look at. If i could rewind my life back you the day and fix everything so he could be here with me, i would. “The clock is ticking and i’m out of time the camera’s rolling and i forgot my lines my script is ripped and now i see. This is heartache on the big screen, this is heartache on the big screen, this is heartache on the big screen.” as soon as i finish i run off the stage crying yet again. Next thing i know i am back in the tour bus sitting by myself. Crying. I am surprised i am not completely drained. I put my headphones in and turn on my playlist of various of songs that remind me of Michael. The first song that comes on is Social Causality and everytime i hear Michael sing his parts i can’t help but lose it. He has the chorus four times and i listen to it most because he sings more in it. I am not mad. I am upset. Everytime i go to a signing people ask me if i am pissed off or something. I can’t help but laugh. People think he cheated on me then got kicked out of the band. That is no where close to what happened. He got in a fight with his mum, and had to drive almost an hour back home. He… well i can’t explain it really. It is too depressing.

*Flashback* *michaels POV*
“Michael Gordon Clifford just because you got married last fucking year does not make you a fucking man!” my mum yelled at me her face only inches from mine. Tarah is listening but i really wish she didn’t come, I don’t like her listening to mine and my mums fights. My father died from a car crash two years ago. I couldn’t stop Tarah from following me. I wouldn’t let her come with me so she came in her own car. “Michael babe can we just go home please?” she asked me her eyes soft with worry. “Yeah by the way mum, i think you could just go fucking drop fucking dead.” i said and stormed out to my car. I slammed hard on the breaks after slamming my car door. My mind is full and running wild. My mum keeps trying to say Tarah is a no good bitch and is only using me for pleasure. Then she tries to blame me for my fathers death. It wasn’t my fault. While i was deep in thought i started seeing red. I ran a stop sign and crashed into another vehicle. I heard the paramedics coming quickly down the road and Tarah’s screams for help fill the tiny space. I was hospitalized for a few weeks with multiple scars bruises and stitches. I had to be hooked on many different machines. To keep me stabilized. They announced to Tarah and the others that i was brain dead.

*End flashback*

I cried again and again. The thoughts filling my mind. I just wish it was me. I cut every day. I yell and scream. I am weak without him. I don’t speak much anymore. I am the only girl in the group now. The other girls just… Well disappeared.

“NO! STOP! SOMEONE HELP PLEASE!” i yelled in my sleep and someone shook my shoulder. “Tarah wake up! come on show me those ridiculously blue eyes you have!” Michael shouted waking me up from my horrible dream. It felt like forever since i have seen his eyes. “S-sorry.” i whispered and he kissed my sweaty forehead. It took a few moments that everyone else was in the room too. Taylor, Autumn, Shyanne, Luke standing behind Autumn with his arms wrapped around her waist, Calum is standing next to Taylor and they are hooked together and Ashton was hugging me as well and Michael. I am so happy to see everyone here. I looked down at my arms and noticed i have no new scars or cuts. I smiled and kissed Michael my breathing is still accelerated but i can’t help but make this moment better. Suddenly i hear footsteps running down the long hallway to my room. JAVIER?! I stayed silent while Taylor moved to him. She must really like him. Damn, it is getting hot in the room and the space feels like it is closing in on me. “C-can one of you please get these c-covers off of me, it is really hot. And Ash i am really sorry but do you mind, i mean not to be rude or anything but i am feeling a little claustrophobic right now.” he nodded and moved to stand next to Calum. I let a small smile appear on my lips as one of five of the guys in one of my favorite bands in the world came in my room. “N-niall H-horan?!” i questioningly shouted. “Michael pinch me.” i told him seriously. “Why would i do that?” he chuckled kissing my cheek. I blushed, “Is this a dream? Is Niall really here?” i asked and just then like on cue… Liam fucking Payne is in my room! “Holy shit kill me!” i shouted as Harry and Louis came in hand in hand. I knew there was a reason that he left Shyanne. It hasn’t been that long since i have seen him last. At least six to eight months. My thoughts ran wild when “ZAYN MALIK! IS IN MY ROOM!” i shouted and everyone around me chuckled. I am in absolute love with him. Well no more than Michael but Zayn is most definitely up there. “Babe? Are you okay?” okay now i know this is not just a dream. He just called me babe! “I have one more surprise for you.” Michael said i cocked my head to the side. “What?” i asked excitedly. All of a sudden… HUNTER HAYES!! HOLY SHIT!! I love him, but i still love michael above zayn and zayn above hunter. I think i may pass out when I see Niall pull his guitar out and whisper something to the others. Are they having a freaking concert in MY ROOM? When i caught up with reality i realized… I am now nineteen years old. It is mine and Michaels birthday today. On the twenty-first of November. He is turning twenty and i am now nineteen. When they pull away Niall starts strumming. I recognize the song right away. It is HAPPILY.
You don't understand, you don't understand What you do to me when you hold his hand. We were meant to be but a twist of fate Made it so we had to walk away. 'Cause we're on fire. We are on fire. We're on fire now. Yeah, we're on fire. We are on fire. We're on fire now. (One, two, three) I don't care what people say when we're together. You know I wanna be the one to hold you when you sleep. I just want it to be you and I forever. I know you wanna leave. So come on baby be with me So happily. It's four A.M. and I know that you're with him. I wonder if he knows that I've touched your skin. And if he feels my traces in your hair I'm sorry, love, but I don't really care. 'Cause we’re on fire. We are on fire. We're on fire now. Yeah, we're on fire. We are on fire. We're on fire now. (One, two, three) I don't care what people say when we're together. You know I wanna be the one to hold you when you sleep. I just want it to be you and I forever.I know you wanna leave. So come on baby be with me So happily. So happily. (One, two, three, four!) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. We're on fire now. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. We're on fire now (we're on fire) Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. We're on fire now. I don't care what people say when we're together. You know I wanna be the one to hold you when you sleep. I just want it to be you and I forever. I know you wanna leave. So come on baby be with me So happily. I don't care what people say when we're together. You know I wanna be the one to hold you when you sleep. I just want it to be you and I forever. I know you wanna leave. So come on baby be with me So happily.
They sing Through the dark, and i listen closely to Zayns manly voice as he sings.
Liams voice rang through my room first. Then Niall, then all of them. I actually made Zayn sit next to me so i could hear him better when they all sang. Harry sang ‘through the dark’ after they all did and before Zayn looked at me singing his part. Louis looked Harry in the eyes singing. When Louis was done it is Niall then all of them again. Zayn finally put his arm around my shoulders in a friendly way and smiled singing “THROUGH THE DARK AND YOU DON’T NEED YOU DON’T NEED TO WORRY AND YOU WILL SEE IT IS EASY TO BE LOVED I KNOW YOU WANNA BE LOVED” then Liam took over then all of them singing as i swayed side to side. Harry sang through the dark then they all went to singing again quickly. Zayn ended sweetly “Through the dark.” i was smiling so widely. They made me forget the dream i had just before then. This time Niall didn’t start strumming. He put his guitar in my hand and Zayn tells me to play Don’t Forget Where You Belong. I know every chord and note and word.
Liam: been a lot of places, I’ve been all around the world, seen a lot of faces, never knowing where i was. On the horizon, oh well i know, i know, i know, i know the sun will be rising back home
Niall: Living out the cases, packing up and taking off, made a lot of changes, but not forgetting who i was. On the horizon, oh well i know, i know, i know, i know the moon will be rising back home.
All: Don’t forget where you belong OH Don’t forget where you belong OH if you ever feel alone don’t you were never on your own.
Harry: And the proof is in this song.
It is funny because all of their eyes are locked at someone. Harry and Louis’ eyes are locked on each others. Liam and Niall’s eyes are locked on each others. And Zayn’s eyes are surprisingly locked on mine.
Harry: i’ve been away for ages, but i’ve got everything i need, i’m flicking through the pages, i’ve written in my memory. I feel like i’m dreaming, oh so i know, i know, i know, i know that i’m never leaving. No i won’t go.
All: Don’t forget where you belong OH don’t forget where you belong, OH if you ever feel alone, don’t you were never on your own
Harry: And the proof is in this song
Louis: Lights off when they should be on, even in the stars in the skies they’re wrong.
Zayn: Show things when the lights are long, when i think of the things i’ve done.
Zayn and Louis: Don’t matter how far i’ve gone i’ll always be around.
All: Don’t forget where you belong, home don’t forget where you belong.
Zayn: Don’t forget it
All: Home, if you ever feel alone, don’t you were never on your own
Zayn: Never, never, never
All: Don’t forget where you belong home don’t forget where you belong home if you ever feel alone don’t, you were never on your own.
Harry: And the proof is in this song
All: OH
Niall: Don’t forget it
All: OH if you ever feel alone don’t you were never on your own
Liam: And the proof is in this song never forget it, this song
Zayn: Don’t forget it
Liam: No, i never forget it, this song
Zayn: You were never…
I looked at Michael and he kissed my forehead. I can’t imagine a time i was having a decent time after a nightmare. They sang fireproof. It is such a beautiful song.
Harry: I think i’m gonna lose my mind something deep inside me i can’t give up, i thnk i’m gonna lose my mind i roll and i roll til i’m outta luck yeah i roll and i roll til im outta luck.
Niall: I’m feeling something deep inside hotter that a fet stream burning up i get a feeling deep inside it’s taking it’s taking all i got
Liam: Cause nobody knows you, baby, the way i do, and nobody, loves you baby, the way i do, it’s been so long, it’s been so long, maybe you are fireproof, cause nobody saves me baby the way you do.
Louis: I think i’m gonna win this time, riding on the wind and i won’t give up, i think i’m gonna win this time, i roll and i roll til i change my luck yeah i roll and i roll til i change my luck
This time i actually sang with Zayn and everyone smiled. I think they were thinking something was going to happen like he was about to kiss me.
Zayn (and me): Cause nobody knows you baby the way i do, and nobody loves you baby the way i do, it’s been so long it’s been so long you must be fireproof, cause nobody saves me baby the way you do
All: (Cause nobody knows you baby the way i do) (And nobody loves you baby the way i do)
Zayn: It’s been so long it’s been so long
Harry: Maybe we’re fireproof cause nobody saves me baby the way you do
Zayn and me exchange glances before Michael notices. When he does he looks at Luke. “How about VooDoo doll?” he asks and Luke nods.
Luke: Well, i don’t even like you why’d you want to go and make me feel this way? And i don’t understand what’s happened i keep saying things i’d never say.
Michael: Cause i can feel you watching even when you’re no where to be seen. And i can feel you touching even when you’re far away from me.
Michael looks at me winking and smiling
All: tell me where you’re hiding your voodoo doll cause i can’t control myself. I don’t wanna stay wanna run away but i’m trapped under your spell. And it hurts in my head and my heart and my chest and i’m having trouble catching my breath. ooh ooh
Calum: Won’t you please stop loving me to death.
Luke: Well i don’t even see my friends no more cause i keep hanging out with you. I don’t know how you kept me up all night or how i got this tattoo.
Michael: Cause i can feel you watching even when you’re no where i be seen. And i can feel you touching even if you’re far away from me.
All: so tell me where you’re hiding your voodoo doll cause i can’t control myself i don’t wanna stay wanna run away but i’m trapped under your spell…
They sang more but i couldn’t pay much attention to it. Zayn’s arm is still sround my shoulder and Michael is singing to me. “I can feel you watching even when you’re far away from me and i can feel you touching even if you’re no where to be seen everytime i see you suddenly my heart begins to race every time i leave i don’t know why my heart begins to break.” Luke sang to Autumn and she blushed. “So tell me where you’re hiding your voodoo doll cause i can’t control myself” Calum sang to Taylor. She looked at him and he leans in. Someone then stops them. Taylor looks over to see who it was...