The summer memory

“What did Javier do that made you both so mad?” Taylor asked kinda curious but, also sad and mad. “Not your damn business right now Taylor” I said angrily and left the room. She sighed as I walked out. She walked to her room. When I got to the kitchen I gave Michael a hug from behind and kissing his bare shoulder. “You know I don’t like it when you run around the house shirtless with other girls right?” I asked him jokingly and he smiled down at me before kissing me. “Yeah I know, I just love it when you get jealous when other girls look at me. You turn protective. Like i’m the cub and you’re the momma bear.” he said and I flushed crimson. “Thanks, babe. I love you” I said and he kissed my nose. Then breakfast was finally done we had a nice table that could fit everyone. Now everyone is here but one person and that one person I screamed at about 10-15 minutes ago. Maybe I should go and check on what shes doing, so I got up from my seat next to Michael and went down to Taylor’s room. When I finally got to the familiar white door I knocked. She opened the door in an instant and she was obviously pissed so I made sure to keep a little space from her. Not that I am afraid of her. I dont want to get punched in the face, and she would do it if I got her that mad. “Breakfast is ready.” I told her calmly. “I don't really care” she said calmly. I got so angered by her calmness I just lost it and started to scream at her. “Okay, you want to fucking know what happened between me and Javier?!” I yelled. I didn't even give her the chance to answer because I started to scream again. “Five fucking years ago he had a girlfriend and he proposed a week after their two year anniversary. It wasn’t anything special and that pissed her off.” I started to yell my eyes burning but I blinked the tears away. I have never told anyone about my past nor his.

*Flashback 3rd person POV*
It was about nine o’clock when Javier and Britney finally came home. They stormed into the apartment. It was a month after they got engaged and Britney wasn’t having the whole ‘I love you’ shit anymore. Tarah had to watch their fight. It was either that or she goes back to her parents apartment to get abused by her mother or raped by her father. Javier and Tarah got this house when he turned seventeen. In Australia as long as our parents didn’t care we could get an apartment or a house by ourselves as long as we had an ID or drivers licence. “I don’t want your fucking shit anymore Britney! All you ever do is bicker about random shit. ALL THE FUCKING TIME!” Javier yelled and Tarah could hear them over her loud music. “REALLY JAVIER THAT IS YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING BE?” Britney yelled back at him and he took a step forward and slapped her. “What the fuck?” Britney yelled but he only slapped her again, and again, and again. Until Tarah came down and pulled him away and sent Britney to her room while she dealt with Javier herself. “I don’t want to be with that thought if she is going to be a fucking slut and sleep with everyone she fucking sees!” Javier yelled at Tarah but Tarah wasn’t going to take it so she punched him in the jaw. “You know if it weren’t for me you would still be at mom’s and dad’s getting beat and raped!” Javier yelled and Tarah punched him again then ran up the stairs crying. Tarah ran into the only bathroom that had a lock on the inside and grabbed her hidden blade. “One for having a stupid family.” she said the put a deep cut in her arm “Two for being me” then another. After what seemed like days Tarah put her blade away and cleaned and wrapped her arm to cover the cuts. “Damn it!” Tarah screamed when she noticed the blood through the wrap. When Tarah got back to the bottom of the stairs her brother, Javier was breaking things. Dishes were broken and scattered through the kitchen. The glass trophy case that had her middle school track and basketball trophies in it was broken. She started crying when she saw Javier with a knife to his throat. “Javier NO!” she yelled and ran over to him and took the knife.

*End flashback* *Tarah’s POV*

I looked at Taylor crying by the time I finished my story. Taylor showed only hurt. When I heard someone coming down the hall Michael appeared in the doorway and noticed me crying. “Babe, are you okay?” he asked me kissing my head and hugging me tightly. I heard Taylor say something but I decided not to worry on it right now. I am just too happy to be with Michael right now. The whole reminder about my past makes me want to cut. I am two years clean thanks to Michael. We have known each other for a year before he asked me to be his girlfriend. “What happened?” he asked me glaring at Taylor. I know he thinks she did something wrong. But you know I can’t think about it right now. “That is not important right now. Just. I just want you right now.” I sniffled and he wrapped his arms around me tightly. After having what felt like years of crying into Michaels chest Luke came in with a bed head. Still. Taylor laughed then Autumn came in close behind him. “Guys we are gonna go to our room, I don’t think she wants to be around many people right now. Sorry.” Michael said before picking me up bridal style and taking me into what is now OUR room. He lied me down on the left side of the bed, and under the Australian flag blanket and climbed in after. “Do you want to talk about it? He asked me and I moved closer to him. He kissed my nose and I let out a sigh. “Yes, actually.” I said after a few minutes of silence. “Okay.” he sighed and kissed my forehead before I started speaking of my terrible past. When I was finished telling Michael about my past he moved me closer to his chest and said, “I would NEVER ever do that to you. I promise.” after the promise was made I smiled and kissed him passionately. I felt the love in the kiss. He is really here for me isn’t he? Yes, yes he is. “I am here for you. FOREVER and ALWAYS.” I giggled and he kissed my nose again. “I love you so fucking much!” he chuckled then kissed me. I moved into his chest the rest of the way, closing the space. I can feel his body heat radiating off of his bare chest. How did I end up with this punk weirdo? He is the best I have ever had. He is the ONLY I have ever had. “Can I come in?” Ashton asked knocking on the door. Michael looked up so I didn’t have to move. He nodded and Ashton came and sat at the end of my bed. Michael sat up and I whined from the loss of contact. I moved onto his lap and he put his arms around my waist chuckling. I moved my face into his chest and he kissed the top of his head. I curled into a ball and heard Ashton laugh at me. I flipped him off and Michael chuckled at my choice of actions. “Hey that isn’t right! You’re with Michael that’s sick dude!” Ashton shouted and I laughed again. “Gee thanks for that image!!” Michael sounded bothered by the thought of Ash and me. “Babe, look at me.” I said and he did so. “I love YOUokay, you have NOTHING to worry about. I am marrying YOU.” I told him in a soft voice. He smiled at me and kissed me passionately. Every time we kissed is was like I was having my first kiss over and over again. Everytime I saw him I fell in love all over again. God the way his eyes stared me dead in the eye. The way he pulled his lip ring between his teeth and twisted his eyebrow piercing between his fingers. His blazing eyes stared into my soul and i before i knew it he was claiming me as his. We are full out making out before we realize Ashton is still in here. Ashton is glaring at Michael and i shoot him daggers. “Can you leave” i asked. He looks at me and his glare softens, but mine stays “Y-Yea sure” he then glares at Michael one last time and then he leaves the room leaving the door open. I got up from the bed to shut it. As i removed the blanket i flinched from the cold air hitting my bare skin. Suddenly i got goose bumps as i climbed back onto Michaels lap. We were pretty comfortable. When he made our foreheads connect i couldn’t help but smile widely. My legs were off the the left side with his right arm under my bum and his other arm under my knees. I have my left arm around his shoulder making our noses bump together as we sit in the dark. Before i knew it, it was really late. Have we been in here all day? Oh well i don’t care. As long as someone brought something for us to eat i would do this for the rest of my life. I felt my eyes getting heavier as i started to fall asleep on Michaels chest. “Tired?” he asked and i nodded. “Okay, you go to sleep. I love you” he said then kissed me softly “I love you, night.” i yawned kissing him back then fell asleep in his arms.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? Javier you are such a fuck up bastard!” i yelled after he just treated my best friend like shit! He slapped her countless times before punching Michael. This was the worst i have been in life. One side of me was saying ‘Lock yourself in the bathroom’ and another was saying ‘Fuck this bitch up and tell him who is fucking bitch ass boss!’ I decided to go with both. First i would show him who was boss then i would lock myself in the bathroom. I feel like complete sht. This is not what i needed. It isn’t even freaking five AM and this is happening? I decide to take Michael into our room and tell him i was going to the restroom. Knowing me he would know i would come out in minutes. I turned on Knives and Pens, and In The End both by Black Veil Brides. Knives and Pens because it will help me through my horrible time as i put the blade to my skin. As it tore my skin i winced and screamed. Apparently loud because Michael went and banged on the door for me to open it. “Tarah, baby, come on unlock the door for me. Please!” he shouted in hopes he wouldn’t find a way in, he pick locked the bathroom door opening to the sight of blood dripping off my arm. He dropped down on his knees and held onto my waist. I had various scars and now various new cuts. It kills me to know how badly i hurt him by hurting myself. He slowly started to fade away out of my life as i saw the change in my life. I was at a concert. It was 5sos concert and something is different. Instead of Michael coming and kissing me after each song. He wasn’t even on the stage, and Ashton came and kissed my cheek. Calum gave me a sympathetic smile and Luke kissed my lips passionately. What?! OH MY GOD! This can’t be happening. I saw Michael cross the stage then vanish quickly. I saw the hurt written all over his face and in his eyes. Suddenly Austin Mahone came on the stage giving me a sorry look then started singing.
“Don't the water grow the trees Don't the moon pull the tide Don't the stars light the sky Like you need to light my life If you need me anytime You know I'm always right by your side See I've never felt this love You're the only thing that's on my mindYou don't understand how much you really mean to me I need you in my life You're my necessity But believe me you're everything That just makes my world complete And my love is clear the only thing that I'll ever seeYou're all I ever need Baby you're amazing You're my angel come and save me You're all I ever need Baby you're amazing You're my angel come and save me Don't the water grow the trees Don't the moon pull the tide Don't the stars light the sky Like you need to light my life We can do anything you like I know we both can get it right tonight You got your walls built up high I can tell by looking in your eyesYou don't understand how much you really mean to me I need you in my life You're my necessity But believe me you're everything That just makes my world complete And my love is clear the only thing that I'll ever seeYou're all I ever need Baby you're amazing You're my angel come and save me You're all I ever need Baby you're amazing You're my angel come and save me When it comes to you baby i’m addicted you’re like a drug, no rehab can fix it i think you’re perfect even with your flaws ooh I love it all When it comes to you Baby I'm addicted You're like a drug, no rehab can fix it I think you're perfect baby even with your flaws You ask what I like about you Ooh, I love it allYou're all I ever need Baby you're amazing You're my angel come and save me You're all I ever need Baby you're amazing You're my angel come and save me” he sang to the crowd. I had to squint because i started thinking that the entire crowd was MICHAEL! DAMN I MISS HIM! I looked around to see if i could find anyone. Taylor, Shyanne, and Autumn were not to be found. I even asked Luke where they were and he said “Babe, you don’t remember?” i shook my head and felt my eyes burn. Soon enough the tears escaped my eyes. “Babe..” he said pulling me into his chest while i cried. “It is your turn to sing.” he told me after a few minutes. I looked down at what i was wearing. I am wearing the EXACT same outfit from when Michael proposed to me. Four years ago. “Okay.” I thought about what to sing. When it hit me. “My hands, your hands, tied up like two ships. Drifting weightless, waves tried to break it. I’d do anything to save it. Why is it so hard to say it? My heart, your heart sit tight like book ends. Pages between us writes with no end. So many words we’re not saying. Don’t wanna wait til its gone…” I took a deep breath to prepare for more tears as they rolled down my cheeks. “You make me strong. sorry if i say i need you. but i don’t care. i’m not scared of love cause when i’m not with you i’m weaker. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong? That you make me strong. think of how much love that’s been wasted. People always trying to escape it move on to stop their heart breaking. But theres nothing i’m running from. You make me strong. I’m sorry if i say i need you, but i don’t care, i’m not scared of love. cause when i’m not with you i’m weaker. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong? so baby hold on to my heart oh oh need you to keep me from falling apart i’ll always hold on cause you make me strong. i’m sorry if i say i need you but i don’t care i’m not scared of love cause when i’m not with you im weaker. is that so wrong? is it so strong? i’m sorry if i say i need you but i don’t care i’m not scared of love cause when im not with you im weaker is that so wrong is it so wrong? that you make me strong?” I clench my eyes closed and soften my tone as i sing the last part now i am sobbing on stage. “I’m sorry if i say i need you but i don’t care i’m not scared of love. Cause when im not wit you im weaker is that so wrong? is it so wrong? THAT YOU MAKE ME STRONG?” I feel almost impowered as the next song starts and i have to sing Over Again. My eyes are burning. This was the song Michael and i called OURS. I can’t believe they are making me sing this. I looked back to see a blurry and fuzzy Michael sitting on the side of the stages also crying. “Said i’d never never her cause her hands fit like my tee shirt tongue tied over three words, cursed. Running over thoughts that make my feet hurt body intertwined with her lips.” this song Michael and I wrote for One Direction. It explained EVERYTHING we had. “Now she’s feeling so low since she went solo hole in the middle of my heart like a polo and it’s NO joke to me SO CAN WE DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN? If you’re pretending from the start like this with a tight grip then my kiss can mend your heart i might miss everything you said to me and i can lend you broken parts that might fit like this and i will give you all my heart so we can start all OVER AGAIN.” I looked back to see Michael sit there then vanish again. Startling me, when i turn around we are face to face. I know it isn’t true but somehow i can feel his warm body heat radiating off his chest. “Can we take the same road two days in the same clothes and i know just what she’ll say if i can make all this pain go can we stop this for a minute? You know, i can tell that your heart isn’t in it or with it. Tell me with your mind body and spirit.” Literally SPIRIT i am looking him in the eyes knowing they would make me sing more. “i can make your tears fall down like the showers that are british weather we’re together or apart we can both remove the masks and admit we regret it from the start. If you’re pretending from the start like this, with a tight grip, then my kiss, can mend your broken heart i might miss everything you said to me. And i can lend you broken parts that might fit like this, and i will give you all my heart so we can start it all OVER AGAIN. You’ll never know how to make it on your own and you’ll never show your weakness for letting go. I guess you’re still hurt if you say it’s over do you really wanna be alone? if you’re pretending from the start like this with a tight grip then my kiss can mend your broken heart i might miss everything you said to me. And i can lend you broken parts that might fit like this and i will give you all my heart so we can start it all OVER AGAIN.” as hard as i try and try to keep from crying, it is almost impossible. I soften my tone of the last part of the song. “If you’re pretending from the start like this, with a tight grip then my kiss can mend your broken heart i might miss everything you said to me. And i can lend you broken parts that might fit like this and i will give you all my heart, so we can start all OVER AGAIN” I can’t bring myself to imagine a time where i have missed someone so much.

Notes

Hey sorry for the cliffhanger guys. I have big plans for the next chapter. I know it seems that i am taking over but i am not. We both write the story then one of us post the chapter. I wrote a lot of this chapter but a lot of the details are from her and i both and one of our friends. Anyway Love you xxxooo

-Tarah