Louis’ POV
Codie must have been home early, well considering I was holding her in my arms at the moment was proof of that. I had my face buried in her strawberry scented hair, and my arms around her waist. I hadn’t opened my eyes yet, I was too tired too. I heard my alarm go off, telling me it was 9 o’clock.
“You awake babe?” I asked Codie.
“Yeah.” I heard an answer. That wasn’t Codie’s voice. She was not British. I opened my eyes, it was not the dark blonde I thought it was. It was brown. I gasped and jumped out of the bed.
“ELEANOR WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING?!” I shouted as loud as I bloody well could.
“Louis, I want you back.” She said.
“I am not going over this Eleanor, we already have.” I said through gritted teeth. My hand sub-conciously ran through my hair like I do when I get stressed and angry. “I don’t want you, okay? Ka-peish? Good, now get out of here.” I pointed to the door.
“Why? You weren’t complaining this morning.” She said, flipping her hair over her shoulder.
“Yeah, because I either had my eyes closed or I was asleep. As well as the fact I thought you were Codie.” I pointed out to her.
“She’s gone though, we can be together again.” She had seriously lost it.
“She’s coming back this morning, can you please-” why was she doing this?
“She already did. She left again.” She crawled on the bed towards me.
“Are you saying that she saw us?” I asked her.
“Well, I don't know. She did open the door.” She said in response. I looked at the cream coloured door, it was open.
“If she saw us I will…” I trailed off as I tried to think of something threatening. “Use my karate skills and throw you out of the window.” I said seriously. She laughed in a mocking tone. It was musical and high, I once liked the sound of it, I don't anymore.
“Sure you will.” She didn’t believe me, for some reason.
“Eleanor, I swear if she saw us I will-” what was with her cutting me off.
“Well, I did hear the door open and her gasp and storm off. So, yeah, I think she did.” She told me.
“Get out of my house Eleanor, or so help me I will call the police and get you in jail for multiple things. If you break into my house again I will get a bloody restraining order.” I told her through my teeth.
“Sure you will.” She said in the same tone as before.
“I will. NOW BLOODY WELL GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!” I shouted at her.
“Okay, okay.” She said in a musical tone. “I will be back though Louis.” She got up and walked out of the house.
“I know you will.” I said scratching my cheek. I went downstairs after I heard the front door close and went straight to the kitchen. If Codie was here, she would have taken something out of the fridge. I opened the door and found one of the juice boxes gone.
When I turned around and saw the table, my heart fell to pieces. I sat down on one of the chairs as I tried to hold back my tears. I looked at the silver chain of the necklace I gave her. It was snapped, she must have ripped it off. I held it in my hands, remembering when I gave it to her. She looked so tired when I did. Her eyes had dark circles, her hair was so messy. She was still beautiful to me.
I remember telling her why I loved her, singing her that song that we know now as the one that kept us together. I remember organising the Toblerone bar for our anniversary of one month. That was the moment I thought about the promise ring.
I picked that up next. I looked at it. Just looked at it. I remembered asking her about it at my birthday, nearly two years ago. Wow, that time has just disappeared. Everything has happened so quickly.
I didn’t want to touch the engagement ring. I didn’t want to look at it. The other two things I could handle, but not that. It would make it feel too real. I was hoping I would wake up from this dream I was having. I felt the tears well up in my eyes, and my hand pick up the silver ring. I looked first at the diamonds that sparkled in the light. Then at the sapphire. The beautiful sapphire.
All I could see when I looked at that sapphire was Codie’s eyes. Every single time I have looked at her eyes flashed through my head. The times when she was smiling and they sparkled brilliantly, or when they had that crazy glint in them, or when she was crying. Whenever she cried, I cried. If she realised I was crying with her, she never told me. I always held her in my arms when her tears fell. I hated seeing her like that, and it made me sad when I did.
I stared at the sapphire, not even realising that someone had come in the house until they pulled up a chair next to me. I walked into the lounge room, still holding the ring. They may have said something, but I didn’t hear them. I didn’t even know who it was, I just knew it wasn’t Eleanor.
“I didn’t even get to say goodbye.” I managed to say. “She just left, when she found me with Eleanor. I didn’t sleep with her, she broke into my house and crawled into my bed with me like a creep. I didn’t get to explain to Codie, she just left the things I gave her on my table and disappeared.” I felt the hot tears roll down my cheeks.
“Oh man, you have a shit life.” Zayn said, patting my back. At least I knew who it was now.
“Thank you for that.” I rested my head in my hands and let the tears go, I wasn’t able to stop them anyway.
“Anytime, mate.” He told me.
“I know. She still has my jumper though.” My head kept running over the memories I had made with Codie, good and bad. I had to tell her what happened, but how? She’s probably already going to the airport and leaving. I’m still useless with the roads of Adelaide though, so I wouldn’t be able to go to her house. She’s not going to look at any of the text messages I send her, or pick up when I call. I have two options. “I have to wait for her to talk to me, or…” I didn’t want to say the other one.
“Or you could let her go.” Zayn finished for me. I shook my head. I wouldn’t be able to do the last one, physically or mentally. I had to wait for her. I have to. I won’t be able to live if I don't.
“I love her too much for that.”
Codie’s POV (1 hour earlier)
This was one of the hardest things I have ever done, driving to the airport. There were so many things that reminded me of him. About ten minutes ago I scored a ticket for a flight back to Australia, and I had to be there within another half an hour. I thought it was good timing, considering it was only half an hour ago I was driving away from Louis’ house and out the driveway.
No, don't cry again. Tears began to blur my vision but with sheer will power I managed to hold them back and get my full vision back again. I listened to the radio, tuning into the music playing and the words being sung.
“’Cos I’m on top of the world, eh
I’m on top of the world, eh
Been like this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirt
I’ve been waiting to smile, eh
Been holdin’ it in for a while, eh
Take you with me if I can
Been dreaming of this since a child
I’m on top of the world.”
The song finished on me. I like that song, it made me feel happy. Now I was in a good-sad mood, not a shitty-sad mood. I turned the radio up, hoping another good song would be on. I heard piano keys so I zoned out. Wow, the chick singing was alright, not that I was actually listening to it properly. Wait. That guys voice. Why was it so familiar?
I focused on the music again and realised why I knew the voice. It was our duet. Me and Louis.
So much for not crying.
I pulled over as my vision blurred and the tears fell. My hand fled to the power button on the radio, turning it off. I pulled the sleeves of the jumper I was wearing over my hands and used them to wipe away the tears. I rested my face in the jumper and took a deep breath in, breathing in the strong scent on it. Then I realised…
This is Louis’ jumper.
The one I stole from him last night. I looked at it, then ripped it off and threw it on the back seat. I unbuckled my seatbelt and pulled my legs up, hugging them. I stared at the jumper, involuntarily remembering every time that he or I had worn it.
How could he do that to me? Especially with Eleanor.
Maybe she was being a freak and broke in. No. Don't give him credit. Don't try to make up cover stories for him. I told myself in my head.
This is just something else that will have to go in my book, eh? Louis cheating on me with his ex that cheated on him. Great chapter title.
I looked at the passenger seat where he had been so many times I could almost see him sitting there. I could hear his laugh, the one that always made me join in, whether he was laughing at something funny or not. I could feel his hand in mine, or on my leg. I remembered every time we got in the back, sat on the seat and had the time to ourselves to do what we wanted without any disturbances, no one knowing where to find us. Mostly it was something along the lines of touching each other in places where no one else could. French kissing, making out, even going further.
So many memories in this car, and I had only been with it for six months. It was time to give it up. Time to give this country up. Everything reminded me of him. Even when I get back I won’t be able to get away from our memories. I am not giving up my house. That is a big no. I sat back normally and looked in the rear view mirror. Well, at least I wasn’t wearing make-up, so it couldn’t run.
Alright, by the time I get to the airport my eyes will hopefully have de-puff-i-fied. Not that it would make a difference, I was gonna be wearing my sunglasses. What would I do with the jumper? Probably take it home and burn it. Jamie will help me, she’ll probably make an entire ritual I’ll have to play out when I do. I’m imagining it will go something along the lines of a native-American kind of thing. A tribal dance around a massive bonfire, the jumper on a stake, like I would be burning a witch.
I laughed to myself at that thought. I will keep the jumper, but I am not wearing it in the airplane. I can fit it in my bag. Maybe I should get a new bag. When I got to the airport I checked in and went to the stores, getting a new jumper and a bigger bag to fit everything in. then I finally got on the plane, just as it struck 9 o’clock. I was imagining Louis’ alarm going off and him finding I was gone, with my rings left behind.
Not again, oh my god what was with me and my thoughts drifting back to him? It will not happen again. No. As soon as I was seated, I was moved into first class when they found out who I was. I told them not too, but they said that there was a spare seat and that it would be more comfortable for me. So I did, and I thanked them, greatly.
It took me forever to get ready to face Jamie, she would find out about this somehow.
Probably with our telepathic link. She would find me in her dreams and I would talk to her, explaining everything.
She’ll cry. I’ll cry.
“Is it weird that I hear
Violins whenever you’re gone?
Whenever you’re gone
Is it weird that your ass
Remind me of a Kanye West song?
Is it weird that I hear
Trumpets when you’re turning me on?
Is it weird that your bra
Remind me of a Katy Perry song?”
Why did my phone have to pick that song? Why was everything pointing back to him? Back to the one who I had trusted with my heart? The one that crushed it without even trying? The other half of me? I am deleting that song.
He was not going to be forgiven. I was not going back for him. He didn’t deserve for me to be there. He keeps tearing me apart even further with every thought of him. His face, his smile, his laugh, his voice… his eyes. Those eyes so alike to my own. The tears fell, slowly from my eyes. Then they became faster, until it was like a waterfall. A waterfall of hopelessness and sadness.

Notes