Codie’s POV
“Why can’t I leave yet?” I asked the doctor while he stood next to my bed.
“We need to make sure you won’t fall unconscious, again.” They said to me.
“Ugh, I just had concussion, I didn’t fall unconscious.” I stated the obvious.
“Then what happened in the ambulance?” they asked me. I had some very subtle shifty eyes going on.
“I fell asleep until half an hour ago…” I tried to convince them. It was four o’clock in the afternoon on Monday.
“Sure you did. We’ll be able to release you tomorrow morning.” They told me.
“Wow, you make it sound like I’m an animal in a cage.” I turned my nose up at them. As they walked out the door. I lay back down on the white bed and closed my eyes for about two seconds before my friends came in making a huge amount of noise.
“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” Clarisse asked getting worried.
“Dude, I feel fine. I look fine, hopefully and I should be out by tomorrow morning.” I explained.
“Good, because I don’t know how much more of my life I can stand without you.” Amelie pleaded.
“I thought we broke up though, Amelie?” I asked her, kind of.
“We did, but I made us get back together though.” She told me.
“Was I awake when this happened?” I asked her.
“Nope.” She answered, popping the ‘p’.
“What if I disagree?” I questioned.
“Well, your opinion doesn’t matter, we are now together again, whether you like it or not.” She instructed me, giving me no option.
“Lesbian lover.” I stated pulling her in for a hug.
“I know lovey, you, me, at six tomorrow night?” she asked sarcastically.
“Of course!” I agreed, saying it with a lisp. We talked for a few hours until they had to leave. My parents visited me next, I had an argument with Mum about how I should stop driving, because it’s too ‘dangerous’. I’m driving a car at top speed around a bloody racecourse, getting into hospital is kinda in the job description. After that I got time to rest, well lay down for a few minutes.
I was facing away from the door when someone else came in. Did I really want to know who it was? Nah, just pretend you’re asleep. Steady your breathing, don’t turn around. No matter what, don’t turn around.
“Codie? Are you awake?” he asked me. I really wanted to tell him to go away, but I had to keep silent. “I wouldn’t blame you if you were ignoring me, I’ve been a complete dickhead. A complete and utter dickhead. I’m probably the definition of dickhead. I’m really, really sorry, and I wouldn’t blame you if you never forgave me. Thing is, I never wanted to let you go, and I don’t even know why I didn’t tell you. I mean it was practically over nothing.” He paused for a minute.
“It wasn’t you, that’s not the reason, it was me. It was my fault, completely my own stupidity. I should probably tell you why.” He said before taking a deep breath. “I was thinking of Eleanor when I kissed you, and it made myself angry, because I’m happy with you. So happy that I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. Never. I was just too embarrassed to talk to you about it, and too angry at myself as well. I just didn’t want to ruin us by telling you that, and instead I’ve probably ruined us because I didn’t.” he admitted. At least I knew now that it wasn’t my fault he didn’t talk to me. I was still angry at him, but not so much anymore.
“I came up with the five reasons.” He said, I silently laughed. It made my breathing quicken for a few seconds, so I probably blew my cover. He knew I was awake. I could tell from the way he continued talking to me instead of going away. “Well, I found a song with my five reasons anyway.” Please sing it, please. “I know it was stupid of me to dedicate a One Direction song to you, considering you don’t like our music. I was hoping it would help the situation, but it didn’t. I hope you don’t mind the Jonas Brothers, because they have the perfect song.” I smiled to myself, I hadn’t looked at him this entire time but I could tell what his facial expressions were for every word. He coughed to clear his throat while he started strumming a guitar.
“If your heart is always searching
Can you ever find a home?
I’ve been looking for that someone
I’ll never make it on my own
Dreams can’t take
The place of loving you
There’s gotta be a million reasons
Why it’s true
When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything’s alright
When you’re right here by my side
When you look me in the eyes
I catch a glimpse of heaven
I find my paradise
When you look me in the eyes
How long will I be waiting
To be with you again?
I’m gonna tell you that I love you
In the best way that I can
I can’ take a day without you here
You’re the light that makes my
Darkness disappear
When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything’s alright
When you’re right here by my side
When you look me in the eyes
I catch a glimpse of heaven
I find my paradise
When you look me in the eyes
Movin’ on, I start to realize
I can reach my tomorrow
I can hold my head up high
And it’s all because you’re right here by my side
When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything’s alright
When you’re right here by my side
When I hold you in my arms
I know that it’s forever
I just got to let you know
I never want to let you go
‘Cause when you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything’s alright
When you’re right here by my side
When you look me in the eyes
I catch a glimpse of heaven
Oh, I find my paradise
When you look me in the eyes.
Oh, yeah.”
He paused for about five minutes, probably hoping that I would turn around and say ‘I love you, never do that shit again or I will personally hunt you down and hang your head on my wall.’ But I couldn’t be bothered, I was too busy trying not to cry. “I’m really sorry, Codie.” I wanted to say ‘I know’, and to hug him and never let him go, there was something holding me back.
Maybe it was my pride or my stupidity. “I love you, more than you will ever know.” He said in a hopeful tone. It hit me hard, I knew he meant it unlike every other time I’ve heard that line. I had to say something.
“Louis.” I whispered.
“Yeah?” he asked me.
“What would you have done if this was the other way around?” I asked him, wondering what his answer would be.
“I don’t know, probably what you’ve done.” He answered me.
“No, you would have forgiven me on half an hour later, after you pressured what’s wrong out of me.” I said honestly.
“That’s because I’m a guy, we’re fairly stupid. I was thinking if I was a chick and you were the guy. That’s what I thought you meant.” He said stupidly.
“Retard.” I told him.
“That’s me.” He agreed. I still hadn’t turned around yet.
“I know, that’s why I said it.” I stated.
“Thank you.” Sarcasm practically dripped off of his words. Then we had an awkward silence for a few minutes. “Are we still together?” he asked like a child. I thought about it. Many things ran through my head. Out of boredom earlier I had checked my Facebook and Twitter for the first time in a month, I had a lot of hate mail. A lot of it. Hate mail stands out a lot more than the people supporting us. I’ve always been one to stand up to bullies though, the thing is they have no idea who I am. If they knew me, the real me, then I would be okay. But they don’t, that’s why it hurts me.
“Louis I… I don’t know. Heaps of people hate me because I’m with you, because ‘I’m not letting Larry take its course’ or because ‘Louis is supposed to be with Eleanor’. Why would they say shit like that? Eleanor cheated on you, and you and Harry are just friends, if they’re your fans why do they say shit about you?” I ranted on.
“I don’t know. The thing I’ve learnt is that you can’t let them control your life, ever. Just because they say shit doesn’t mean it’s true. I don’t care what they think of us, if they Ship us, then they are the true fans that support me through all of the choices I make. If they don’t, then they aren’t worth worrying about because they’re just jealous I’m with the most beautiful girl in the entire world who I love everything about. You have an amazing sense of humour, and you are so confident about yourself and everything you do. If you don’t let your mother get in the way of your racing, why should a bunch of randoms be any different?” he asked me.
“Because I don’t know them and they don’t know me.” I explained to him.
“Give them a chance to, maybe they will change their minds.” He told me. I turned around to face him, finally, his eyes looked puffy, like he was tired. Or maybe he had been crying.
“Why do you look so tired?” I asked.
“I didn’t sleep at all last night. I was too worried about you too sleep, as well as I was crying before while I was singing.” He explained to me. I sat up slowly and let the blood rush from my head, before I jumped onto him and hugged him for what felt like eternity, but in reality it was only a few minutes. “I love you.” He whispered in my ear.
“I love you too.” I whispered back.
“I got something for you.” He said next.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I originally bought it about a week ago just for a present, but then shit went down and yeah. Then I was gonna use it to get you back, but then I thought ‘probably a bad idea’. So then I decided that if we got back together I would give it to you then.” He pulled out a little box. About half the size of my fist. It had a ‘pretty bow’ on it and was wrapped in some silver wrapping paper. “I know you don’t really like jewellery but I thought this might be nice.” I gave him a weird look but started unwrapping it while I still sat on his lap. When I finally opened it I found a necklace inside. It was a heart with a silver frame, but filled with a cut sapphire, on a silver chain.
“Do you like it?” he asked me.
“No.” I answered him.
“What?” he sounded surprised.
“I love it.” I continued staring at the pendant. It was beautiful, and when I looked around the outside I saw the engraving. ‘I hope we will never part, this cost too much for that…’ I laughed at the words. “Not sure about the engraving though.” I added on.
“Meh, it was the best I could come up with at the time. I just found it ironic that after I got that we had that argument thing.” He said.
“Hmm, maybe it was a test, to see how strong our bond is.” I offered.
“Yeah, maybe. Hey, on Thursday we would have been going out for a month. What do you want me to get you?” Jesus, why was he remembering this instead of me?
“Uh, chocolate works well.” I told him.
“Alright then, chocolate it is. What kind of chocolate?” Oh my gosh, any chocolate? Wait a minute.
“The massive arse Toblerone bar.” I answered him.
“Doesn’t that cost, like, heaps of money?” he asked.
“Money shouldn’t be a problem for you. I could be the problem if you want me to be…” I told him.
“Fine, now what will you get me?” he wondered.
“A two-dollar striped shirt from K-Mart.” I truthfully answered.
“From K-Mart, really?”
“Fine then, a five-dollar striped shirt from Big-W.”

Notes