Life, Cars and One Direction... Wait What?!

“Mum, when are the people coming?” I screamed downstairs.
“In an hour” she screamed back. Plenty of time to have a shower and hope it washed away my drunkenness.
I grabbed a fluoro blue towel and walked into my ensuite. It was connected to another bedroom, it was a little awkward at times, you just had to lock both the doors. I was that tired I couldn’t be bothered. I flung the towel over the shower door for a change, stripped out of my ‘pyjama’s’ and got in the shower.
What would I wear? I have so many pairs of skinny jeans, hmm, what colour? Blue, green, orange, yellow, pink, red, black, aqua, turquoise, amber, purple, brown, metallic gold and silver or normal denim? Decisions, decisions. Well, what shit should I wear? Long-sleeved, short-sleeved, no sleeve, halter or off the shoulder? I eventually couldn’t make up my mind, so I went onto shoes. DC skate shoes, Nike skate shoes, heels, thongs, sandals, boots, high-tops or canvas? DC high-top skate shoes. Yes, nailed it. Right, what colour? Blue and black sounds good. Right, so what clothes go with that? Black skinny jeans maybe? Yeah, what shirt though?
Hmmm, I was leaning toward batwing, off-the-shoulder, long sleeved shirt. Alright, what one? Hmm, argh, I don’t know! Fine then, how should I do my hair? I put in conditioner after washing my shampoo out. I washed my body and face, still thinking. I sat on the ground and shaved my legs. I couldn’t be bothered with the cream today.
I finished shaving and washed my conditioner out. I turned my water off and stood in the shower looking at my face on the door. Should I wear make-up? Nah, too much effort. Back to hair, well, it was behaving today. It was practically dead straight. Leave it down, you don’t know who it is. Nah, ponytail it. Finalised then, I would wear my hair in a high ponytail. Even when it was up that high it still came halfway down my back. No, I would plait it to the side, no, braid it. French braid it around the back of my head and down so it finished over my shoulder and halfway down my stomach.
Right, that’s hair finished. Shirt, come on, think. Think, think, think. Argh, this shit is too hard.
“I got my ticket for the long way round,
two bottle o’ whiskey for the way
And I sure would like some sweet company,
I’m leaving tomorrow, wha-do-ya say?
When I’m gone
When I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
You’re gonna miss me by my hair
You’re gonna miss me everywhere
Oh, I know you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone”
Man, I was so bored to bring out that song from the depths of my mind. I was still staring at my reflection, wait, had I gained weight?
*door creaks open*
“OH MY GOD!” I shouted, glad I had put the towel on the door. I covered myself and backed up against the wall. “Oh my god” I said normally. The person, dude, definitely a guy, put his hands up like he was innocent.
“Chill out” he said whilst half-heartedly laughing.
“Chill out? I’m in the shower. Naked may I add”
“No, you’re wearing a towel.”
I looked at him as if to say ‘what da faq?’ he apparently did not see me though. “That doesn’t change the fact that I’m in the shower” this person must be a complete dick. I had the feeling that I’d seen him before.
“You have a be-a-ut-iful voice by the way” he said in a happy-go-lucky way.
“Thanks” I said hastily whilst shuffling around awkwardly in the 2 by 2 metre shower. He continued staring at me weirdly and washed his hands.
“What’s your name?” he asked.
“I’ll tell you when I’m out of the shower and have clothes on.”
“Well, I’m not leaving until you do”
“Who the freakin’ hell are you anyway?”
“Okay, let’s make a deal. I’ll tell you my name if you tell me yours”
That sounded fair enough.
“You first” I said cautiously.
“Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson”. Does this guy think he’s James Bond or something?
“Badress, Codie Badress” he nodded, blue eyes shining and brown hair bouncing, and walked out. Where had I heard that name before? I tied the towel around me, opened the shower door, and ran around like a lunatic as I locked both of the doors. I leaned on my door and heaved a sigh of relief. Finally, I was in a locked room. No one could get in, phew. I dried my hair, that took quarter of an hour, and walked into my room in my towel.
It took me another quarter of an hour to get my clothes and actually put my hair up to end up leaving it down. I finally decided on a bright blue off the shoulder, long sleeved shirt. I looked okay I suppose. Seriously, where had I seen that guy before? His name rang a bell, but where was it from? I grabbed my phone and texted Amelie,
To; Amelie ‘Styles’:
Hey Witherspoon, do you know what Louis Tomlinson is from?
Thanx, Tinkerbelle
Not even a second later I got a reply.
From; Amelie ‘Styles’:
Wait, hold up, Louis Tomlinson, blue eyes, brown hair?
I relied ASAP.
To; Amelie ‘Styles’:
I think so.
I waited about 30 seconds for her reply. This is exactly what it said.
From; Amelie ‘Styles’:
OOONNNEEE DDDIIIRRREEECCCTTTIIIOOONNN!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Wait, you have 1D staying at your house? I am coming over straight away! I’m bringing the rest of the girls too. :P
Catchya in a minute. ;D
Holy shit, no, they could not be here right now, no no no no no no.
To; Amelie ‘Styles’:
Please don’t come here yet, they probably have jet lag or something. Let them settle in first, alright. I’ll text you when they’re able to handle you guys alright? Don’t tell anyone their here either Witherspoon, if you do I’ll have to kill you kk?
That was out of exasperation to get them to stay put.
From; Amelie ‘Styles’:
Okay, :’( tell me when I can come over. Tell Harry I’m coming for him and he will be blown away by my beauty, please?
To; Amelie ‘Styles’:
No, I won’t tell him. Byes for now!
From; Amelie ‘Styles’:
Bye ;D
I turned my phone on silent and prepared myself for the guys that were waiting downstairs.
***
“What took you so long?” my mother said straight away.
“You told me an hour ago they would come in an hour, so, that was when I came down. It just happened our guests came half an hour early” I tried not to sound sour, I wasn’t sure if it worked. They stood in a line, with Louis last.
A blonde with blue eyes was first in the line, therefore the first I introduced myself to. I put my hand out and shook his hand, “Codie Badress” I said, so he could address me by name.
“Niall Horan” he said in an Irish accent. The next guy had curly hair and green eyes.
“Codie Badress”
“Harry Styles” so this was the one Amelie was obsessed over, I moved to the next boy.
“Codie Badress” this boy had black hair.
“Zayn Malik” I moved to the next boy.
“Codie Badress”
“Liam Payne” so this was Clarisse’s ‘husband’? Fair enough I think. Then I was in front of Louis, I shook his hand as well.
“Codie Badress”
“Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson” did he always introduce himself like that, I mean seriously, come on bro’. I looked at him weirdly and began to walk off.
“Where are you going?” mum asked.
“To my room” I said simply.
“You need to show the boys to their rooms.”
“Why couldn’t you do that?” I said with my eyes closed.
“Because, this is your job, not mine hun” she walked past and tapped me on the shoulder. She left the room leaving me standing there awkwardly.
“So, bring your suitcases along, I’ll drop you off to your rooms. Then in quarter of an hour, meet me back here to get a tour of the house in general.”
This was going to be fun. “So, this room is north facing, so who likes the little amount of sun we will get?” no one put their hand up, I decided to assign this room to, “Zayn, it’s yours” I said, then walking down the hall. “This room is south facing, who doesn’t like sun at all” again, no one put their hand up, “seriously?” no one said anything. “Liam, you can have this room” he walked past and said thankyou as he walked into the room. I walked to the next door in the hallway. “Who wants?” I said simply.
Niall walked through, “thank you Codes” he said in his sweet Irish accent and walked into the room.
So Harry and Louis were going to be on my floor, great, Harry I didn’t mind, Louis was a different story though. I walked up the stairs, self-conscious that my arse was in the faces. I walked quickly and turned to my right. “Who wants this room?” Harry put his hand up and walked straight on in. “You’ve got the shared bathroom with me okay?” I said to Louis, making sure he’d heard me. I walked to the door and opened it.
He walked in, “hey, thanks, you didn’t have to open the door for me by the way”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He looked like he was slightly blushing, that was weird. Whatever. I closed the door and walked down the stairs.
“Oh my god, this cannot be happening” I said to myself as I fell on the couch. I clapped my hands and the lights went off. I turned the T.V. on and watched some NCIS. Boring, I love the show but it was the end of the episode, okay? I channel surfed for ages, then stopped on a repeat of a Merlin episode. I squealed silently, I love this show. I had all of the seasons on DVD. Damn, that finished too. I looked through the channels again. And started watching Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. It was on T.V. and I loved this movie. I began at the part where he goes down to the Underworld and comes back up to fix all of that shit back up.
Louis came in first. He jumped on the couch and watched with me. “Do you like this movie?” he asked, whispering for some reason.
“No” I answered. I was dead serious.
“Then why are you watching it?” he whispered again.
“Because I love this movie” I said, he nodded as he took my personality in. “Do you have a problem with that?” I said loudly, breaking the near silence.
“No, just wondering” I’m fairly sure he thought I was weird ‘cos I was practically drooling over Logan Lerman in this movie, he was so-
The other boys walked in on my drooling. I stood up and clapped my hands. The lights flickered on again. “So, to get this straight, how long will you be here for?”
“2 months roughly” Liam said, great. Two months living with these idiots.
“Right, now, back to business. All of the lights have switches and can be turned off and on by clapping. This is the lounge, pretty important if you like T.V. that is a 90 inch plasma. If you break it you will pay for a new one, got it?” I walked out the front door. “So, this is the front yard. Over there is the garage and in front of it, is my Ferrari. Inside of the garage is my V8. On Thursdays I race for competition and money. So, I won’t be here tomorrow night because of my racing. If you want to come, sure, just hide yourself. Also, if you break either of my cars, you will be paying for a new one, yes? Good”
I walked back into the house and into the kitchen. “So, this is the kitchen. If you-” I was cut off by Niall already in the cupboards trying to find something. “What are you looking for?”
“Doritos or Nandos” was all he said before he held up a packet of cheese Doritos like it was the Holy Grail. He opened them and breathed in the smell before he got, legit, half the corn chips in his hand and shoved them all into his mouth.
“Dafaq?’ I said.
“He likes his food, a lot” Liam explained, that explains it, I think.
“Right, well, on with the tour then.” I walked into the dining room. “This is where the eating happens. To the right you will see a door and through that door is the laundry. Sure stay at my house, but I draw the line at doing your laundry. If you don’t know how, then I will teach you. Good, I’m glad we understand each other.” I continued walking to a door on my right.
“This is the magical gateway to our inside pool, it’s heated and the same size as the one I’m about to show you.” I walked to the door down the end of the hall and opened it. I walked out into a pergola. “This is our backyard. This is outdoor dining” I continued walking to show our massive yard. “This is our land, and that’s our pool” I pointed to a 50 metre by 10 metre pool. I heard the sound of galloping hooves. I felt a breath on my neck. “Hello Dannyboy” I turned around to my black, Friesian stallion. I stroked his head and my forehead on his.
I separated us and looked around for our other horses. They were standing in the shade. “Why are you here Boy?” he whinnied, good answer. “Go back to your friends you ninny.” I walked to his back and hit his arse. He galloped back to his friends. I forgot that I had guests for a minute there. “Right, I’ll show you my floor.”

Notes