When I'm Gone

“I'll get him Kate, go back to sleep.” I whisper to her as she groans and lays back down, sure to fall asleep as soon as possible. I slip a jumper on and quietly walk my way to his room.

“William, no need for the crying.” I whisper to him as I pick him up and sway him back and forth. “Dad's here.” I gently lull him to the changing table and start to change his diaper.

“Here's a bottle dad.” I turn to see Olivia at the door.

“Thanks Livie. You didn't have to do that.” I tell her.

“I know.” She shrugs and starts to walk in to stand by me. “But I heard him crying so I thought I'd help out.” She sets the bottle down and gives her younger brother a kiss.

“Back to bed young lady.” I bump her with my hip and kiss her temple. I can't believe she just celebrated her 13th birthday. “You have school tomorrow.” I remind her.

“I know, still on for Friday breakfast?” She asks with a glint of hopefulness.

“Every Friday, mind if William tags along?” I ask, buttoning up the last snap on his pajamas.

“I wouldn't have it any other way!” She smiles. “Love you dad.” She stands by the door jam.

“Love you too Livie, off to bed.” She disappears down the hallway as I pick up a now calm William and his bottle to sit down in the rocking chair. He takes to his bottle immediately as we rock in the dark, I can't help but think about how lucky I have been.

The band is still together, but we've drifted more. We've all gotten older, doing more things individually, we all have our own families so leaving for a tour isn't exactly easy. Kate and I took our time. Well, we tried to. I was still busy when we officially started dating, touring, recording, preforming,it was difficult but we proved that we could do it. I've had so many of my best days with her.

Like when I finally popped the question after two years of dating. I wanted to get it right. We were all visiting NYC when I took Kate and Olivia for a walk in Central Park, we stopped to get a pretzel when Olivia had “disappeared.” I felt awful pulling a trick on Kate because she was frantic to have lost her eight year old in such a big city but all we did was round the corner and see her waiting with all of our friends and family. She was in such shock, I didn't think it registered that I was behind her, down on one knee. When she finally composed herself all she could say was “You jerk,” instead of “yes”, but she was laughing through the tears so I knew she was kidding.

We waited six months before we gt married. I couldn't wait to make her my wife, and she couldn't wait to make me her husband. It nearly killed me when she said she didn't want to see me until she was walking down the isle with her father. Her father who, after six years finally likes me. Even though he still intimidates the shit out of me. When those doors opened and I saw Kate for the first time, my jaw literally dropped, I think Zayn actually had to push it up for me. I couldn't keep my eyes off how beautiful she looked. We danced the whole night away, I never let her out of my sight.

Then that faithful day that Olivia asked Kate and I if she could have my last name too. Kate cried. I bawled. It was not a manly moment whatsoever. She had come home from school and asked why she didn't have our new last name and Kate had to explain it to her. It was hard for Kate, her love for James had clouded her just a bit and I understood her reservations but Olivia was 10 by then and she had understood what that meant. Kate asked Olivia why she wanted my last name and she simply told us her reasoning was that I was the only father she has ever truly known. I was in tears for weeks that she had thought of me as a father. I had officially adopted her, then three months later we found out Kate was pregnant with William.

When William was born, I wasn't prepared for the emotion. I had always thought child birth wasn't something that was beautiful, but it was. I was there when he took his first breath, heard his first cry. William was a product of the love that Kate and I had worked so hard for. It's been the best six years of my life.

William was finished with his bottle and I put him over my shoulder to burp him. He wasn't the best sleeper and I felt awful to make Kate get up all the time, so I put the baby monitor on my side and tried as best I could to sleep lightly. I think Kate just had ninja ears, she was always up and gone before I heard him.

With a successful burp under his belt I snuggled with him a little more. Not quite ready to put him down. However, my sleepy eyes had gotten the best of me so I wrapped him tight in his blanket and gently placed him in his crib, staying just a little bit longer to marvel at the miracle of my son. I leave the door open and check on Olivia down the hall, pulling the covers over her shoulders and kissing her temple, my daughter.

I rinse the bottle out downstairs and check to see the clock, half four, plenty of sleep left. I see Kate, curled up, lightly snoring and I thank god everyday that she allowed me back. It was not easy, we had issues right away with the media, fans, and my job. But we stuck with it, we fought for, I knew she was the one for me. I knew my life would be shit without her.

I pull back the covers slowly as to not disturb Kate's sleeping.

“Louis.” She mutters in her sleep.

“Back to bed baby.” I pull her closely as she turns on her back.

“Thank you.” She kisses me cheek and snuggles up next to me.

“I want another one.” I whisper and laugh to myself.

“Another one?” Kate opens her eyes and looks at me. “But William is only four months old.” She reasons with me.

“I know, I'm not saying right now, I just want a big family.” I tell her, she's known that and been okay with it, I grew up in a larger then life family and I love it, I wanted that fr my children.

“How about we wait five more months until William is nine months old, then we can start trying.” She scoots closer to me.

“Deal. I love you everything about you.” Breathing in that peppermint shampoo that she's never quite using.

“I love you more.” And she falls back asleep, never truly opening her eyes to start with.

This is it. This beautiful woman in my arms, this is home.

Notes

So since I don't do sequels...I shared a happy bonus chapter!! :) Even if I didn't get to 75 votes, I don't care, I have fantastic readers that deserve it!

I just can't thank you all enough for all your kind comments and everything that you all do for me. If you all didn't keep commenting and encouraging me, I would have never finished my first story about Liam, let alone Mandolin Rain or this story. So thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I'll be posting the start of my Niall story either tomorrow or Sunday, as like my usual stories, it starts of slow, ya'll know me! :) But I'm really excited for it so I hope you all like it too.

Happy Friday!! I'm done with Finals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxxoxo