When I'm Gone

Louis' POV

I've been drifting. I feel like I'm drifting. I'm in love with two women. One woman who I spent so much time with, one woman who had been with me through everything in my new found level of fame but I know I wasn't in love with her anymore. She was familiar. She was comfortable.

Then their is the other woman. The woman whose smile could turn everything around. Whose daughter was a ray of sunshine. This woman would do anything for me, bend over backwards to make me happy and show me affection. She was always thinking about me, bringing me home.

One might say this is an easy decision, but for some reason I'm an idiot. And I'm too wrapped up in the past to look at the present and see what's right in front of me.

I spent three weeks in Doncaster. The most I've ever spent since I left for the X-Factor five years ago. I talked to Kate every single day. I missed her so much, but I swear every time Eleanor called me, I just couldn't ignore her, I couldn't stay away. It was like something was pulling me back to her. But I couldn't get enough of Kate. She was my true weakness. The woman that would leave me weak in the knees with just one kiss.

So why even think about Eleanor? I just can't explain it. She's been around since the beginning. That's my main reason. We've been through so much together, through tours, rumors, fans, celebrity feuds, her being at college, her coming on tour with us. I just can't let things go apparently.

But I was trying to push that all behind me because today is the day Kate and I are leaving for Malta. I've never been and I was so excited to share this first with her. She was beaming as well. It probably helped that her parents decided to come for a few weeks instead of just the week that we'll be gone so she'll get plenty of time with them we come home.

I spent the morning packing, throwing a variety of things in my leather bag, we were taking a flight to Sicily then I was surprising Kate with trip on a yacht from the island to Malta. It wouldn't take long but I wanted at least one night away on the boat, just her and I (obviously a crew there too) away from civilization. Liam had helped me planned the boat trip as it's something him and Sophia like to do, he knew exactly who to contact and how it was planned.

I peek outside my house and see, for once, no one is camped out waiting for me to come out. I make sure the windows are closed, curtains are drawn, and the back door is locked. I don't keep plans because I have no green thumb, I end up killing everything I try to grow. I gather my coat and bags, throwing them in the backseat and drive off to Kate's house.

On the drive I try to focus on what this trip means to us. Kate and I are still finding ourselves. Their is a little insecurity in us, we're still feeling each other out, seeing how we mesh but everything is so easy with us. We work as a team with out even trying to work as a team. Things are natural with us, throw Olivia in the mix and we're like a small family. I love that little girl, I love her mom.

I pull up to Kate's house and swing around to the side, parking in the garage, Kate has extra space for me, and it helps when people don't know that I'm there. We still have a few hours until our flight leaves, and I can't help but feel a little nervous that I'll be meeting Kate's parents. It doesn't help that Kate's all but demanded to give up smoking so I can't seem to calm myself with out it, even if it is best for my health.

She's told me time and time again just to come in but I feel like I can't do that today. I wipe my sweaty palms on my pants and knock twice, waiting for someone to answer. Who opens the door is one who I would assume is Kate's mom. She looks just like her, her beauty extremely similar to Kate's, just a touch older, one could mistake them for sisters.

“Hi! You must be Louis, we talked on the phone, I'm Kate's mom, Lauren.” She sticks her hand out for me to shake as she moves to the side to usher me in.

“It's nice to meet you, thanks for coming all the way out here to watch Olivia.” I hang my jacket up and turn to Lauren.

“Oh we would do anything for Kate and Olivia, it was nice that I got Jack to take a flight and not have to sit on a boat for days on end though.” She laughs at her words as we walk slightly together in the kitchen. “Would you like anything to drink? We made some hot chocolate earlier.” Lauren offers up but I politely refuse. My stomach is still in knots. Meeting the mum is a hell of a lot easier then meeting the dad. Especially when you'll be whisking his daughter away for an over night stay, dad's aren't stupid, they know what's happening.

“Oh Jack! This is Louis.” Lauren calls to a figure down the hall and I can't help but look to see a rather tall, strapping man walk towards me. I find myself swallowing and shrinking as he gets closer, I swear he's getting taller and larger with every step. As his face pulls out of the shadows I really see him. Hard, stern face, muscles bulging out from his crossed arms, a tight, short haircut makes me second guess my longer hair. He has military written all over him. I'm actually terrified.

He's a good four inches taller then me, just tall enough I have to tilt my head a bit to reach his eye level. He stops just far enough away from me and I can see his grip tighten against his biceps as he looks me up and down, grunting what I can only assume is my appearance. I'm sure skinny jeans and a jumper aren't what's in fashion for this man.

“Hi, I'm Louis.” I introduce myself and stick my hand out for him to shake. He looks at my hand and then looks back at me. Holy shit, this guy is intimidating.

“Oh knock it off Jack.” I see Lauren out of the corner of my eyes with a tight smile on her face, scolding her husband.

He finally extends his hand and shakes mine, “Jack.” Is all he says to me. His grip is bone crushing as I try not to let it show on my face. I swear I can feel the sweat dripping from my forehead. I've never been this nervous in my life, it would help if Jack would give me anything to work with. He's only said one word to me so I can't use my humor, I don't know how to read him.

“Daddy, be nice.” I didn't even hear Kate coming up behind him, of course he blocks much of the doorway to the hall. I see Kate peek over his body, “Hey Lou.” She smiles at me and I semi relax. She points to her dad and rolls her eyes, he can't see because he's too busy sizing me up and intimidating the crap out of me, I start to laugh but quickly stop when I notice the tension in the room hasn't gone away. Kate comes up to me and quick kisses me on the cheek, my eyes wide with fear of her father.

“Louis!” I hear Olivia jump down the steps and run towards me, dodging her grand father and all but running into my arms. I pick her up and embrace he with all I have, I notice Jack's gaze slightly soften at the affection his grand daughter is giving me and that helps me just a bit.

“Pak, this is Louis, he's really funny.” She turns to Jack and smiles and for once he breaks into a grin.

“Is he?” He reaches his arms out and I try to balance Olivia as she jumps into his arms, thankful for a kid to break the ice.

“Pak?” I ask, hoping he won't kill me. He's probably the reason for the phrase, "If looks could kill."

“Oh, when Olivia was younger she couldn't say grandpa but she would just say Pak instead, so it kind of stuck, that's his name.” Kate explained as she stands next to her mum, cutting up carrots.

“What are you making?” I restrain myself from snaking my arms behind her and resting my head on her chin, kissing her shoulders. I wish I could.

“Beef stew, it's mom's specialty.” She smiles at me. “I figured we could have lunch then take off, we have time right?” She looks up at me after she scrapes the carrots into the boiling pot and places the knife in the sink.

“We have all the time in the world.” I assure her as I pull out the chair to sit across from where she's cooking. “You all packed, ba-Kate?” I want to call her babe but I'm suddenly reminded of Jack as he walks around, stoic, very rigid. I guess military for twenty plus years will do that to you.

“Yeah, just need to bring my bags down.” She turns back to the pot and stirs it.

“I'll grab them.” I volunteer, eager to get out of the kitchen, apparently no one notices the death glares from Kate's father, or else they're so used to it they ignore it.

Notes

um WOW! Didn't expect to have to update so quickly! To be honest I didn't think I had to update until tomorrow morning! You are all AMAZING! And I'm so thankful for each and every one of you.

I rather enjoy writing about a nervous Louis! Of course, he's still conflicted, even if the choice seems obvious to us readers.

I'm so excited to share the chapters to come!

Have a fantastic day! Comment away, keep voting, subscribing, and reading!

xoxo