When I'm Gone

Louis' POV

“LOUIS!” Olivia swings the door open wide after I've only knocked once. A bright, bold smile on her face.

“Hey Princess!” I set my larger then life pumpkin down and pick her up for a hug. Out of the corner of my eye I see Kate, looking beautiful as always. “Hey Kate. Thanks for letting me come over.” She smiles at me, making me jittery, I can see where Olivia gets her smile from.

“You eaten yet? I made chicken noodle soup if you want some.” She points to the kitchen and I just smile. I have eaten but I can't resist.

“Yeah, that would be great. Thank you.” I slip my coat and shoes off, following them into the kitchen. I see them eating at the kitchen island, it has room for five seats but Olivia is in the middle and I can't resist sitting next to her.

“So did you already have a pumpkin? You came over pretty fast.” Ahh, caught.

“Oh, I was close, I'll tell you the rest later.” She nods at me, I want to tell her everything, it's time to tell her everything, just not right here.

“Mommy said you're getting married. Can we come?” I look to Kate quick and see her close her eyes and turn away. What am I suppose to say?

“Olivia, that's not very nice. You can't invite yourself. It's probably too late for us to go anyway. They have to know long before the wedding whose coming.” Kate comes to my rescue and speaks before my brain can comprehend an answer.

“But I want to go.” She whines. It makes me sad, why is everything so difficult. Right, because I'm making it difficult.

“It won't be very much fun anyway Olivia.” That's because it might not happen Olivia.

“But I want Louis to put me to bed!” Olivia stomps her foot and crosses her arms, glaring at Kate.

“I know, but Louis is tired! It's not his job to put you to bed.” Kate tilts her head to the side and I'm trying not to laugh as I gather all the newspapers up filled with pumpkin guts.

“Please!!!” I really can't stop my laughter. She's literally too cute.

“It's really okay Kate. I can put her to bed.” I smile. “But you have to wait just a minute while I finish cleaning up this mess.” I point to everything and Kate gives me a silent thank you. I crumple the newspaper and quickly dispose of them in the kitchen, washing my hands but the pumpkin smell doesn't quite leave. “All right, I'm ready, are you ready?” I smile at Olivia.

“Carry me?” She throws her arms in the air.

“Olivia! You can walk!” Kate scolds her, she looks a little embarrassed about Olivia's actions but I love it.

“Of course I will Pumpkin.” I easily lift her up on my hip and her arms circle around my neck.

“Night mommy!” She shouts over my shoulder and I notice Kate blowing her a kiss.

She requires no bedtime book tonight, just a simple tuck in of the sheets, I have to give Hammie the elephant extra kisses and switch on her castle night light and she's ready for dream land. I quietly close the door and race off back downstairs. I could get used to this. Being here every night, putting Olivia to bed. Seems just natural.

I see Kate, her long legs tucked underneath of her, cream colored jumper pulled over her hands as she stares at the fire I built in the fireplace. I actually have skills.

“Hey.” I whisper as I hop over the back of the couch and sit next to her.

“Hi.” That sweet smile. “Sorry about Olivia. She gets attached.” She rolls her eyes and tries to hide her laughter.

“Oh, no problem. I love it. My sisters used to do that all the time when they were younger.”

“So, what's going on Louis?” She shifts her body to face me as she pulls the blanket off the back of the couch and wraps it around herself. “Wait, first, do you want anything to drink or eat?”

“Um, no I think I'm good, thank you.” I prepare myself for the story I'm about to tell her.

“Well let me know if you want anything.” She smiles. Nothing else, just waiting for me to be ready to spill my guts. Here goes nothing I guess.

I clear my throat as I nervously delay my words. “So, I'll start kind of from the beginning. I met Eleanor through Harry, I loved her quickly and she stuck by me. Things were hard, all these people thinking Harry and I were in a secret relationship, saying Eleanor was my fake girlfriend. She was up in Manchester for school while I was here in London working, traveling the world on tour. It was tough, but she was always supportive. I could call her at anytime of the day, it didn't matter, she answered. We fell in love. She was literally my everything. Or so I though. Then I met this beautiful woman who taught me that life was precious and we have to take every opportunity with two hands. She's someone I never thought I could have in my life. She had been through so much yet always smiled. She made me remember what it's like to be alive.” I paused when I noticed her blushing and hiding her smile. “I was stupid and I kind of took advantage of her emotional state and then I lost her. I was even more dumb when I didn't try to be her friend when she was going through a hard time.”

“Well she doesn't seem like she was such a great friend either.” She whispers.

“Well, I can't blame her, she was going through an extremely exhausting time in her life.”

“So what happened to her?” I lean a little into Kate.

“She came back into my life. It was a bit of a whirlwind but when she came back something inside of me pulled me towards her. And now I'm here. I can't seem to get her off my mind, I can't not think of her. Eleanor is going crazy it seems like. She snapped at me a few days ago for no reason and stayed the night at a friends, came back the next day apologizing, then tonight I took her out for dinner and she was super rude to the waiter and some fans then she didn't even care when I said I was leaving. Didn't even bat an eye when I packed a bag.” I look straight ahead.

“So where are you staying tonight?” I hadn't really thought of that.

“Well, I was hoping I could stay here?” I turn to her, seeing apprehension in her eyes. “Not like with you, I know you have some guest rooms, could I just stay there? I wouldn't normally invite myself but I feel like if I stayed with any of the guys or any of my other friends Eleanor would find me tomorrow and I just need space.

“Um, sure, that's fine.” She has a tight smile. She promised me that she would never do anything with me while I was with Eleanor, and I respect that. I'm not going to push anything. “But Louis, what are you going to do about Eleanor? I mean, it's not my place, but you guys are suppose to get married in like a month and a half.”

“I don't know. I don't know if I even want to anymore.” I finally admit out loud. She's so easy to admit things to. To be open and honest with.

“Oh Louis.” She runs her hands through her hair. “Louis, I've been married and I never once questioned my love for James, marriage should be taken seriously. I'm not trying to tell you what to do but if you question yourself right now, I don't think you should get married.”

“You don't?” My head snaps in her direction.

“No.” Her face looks worried. “I mean, people fight, no one is perfect, people don't always get along but you two have both left on separate occasions within the last what week? That's not healthy. You need to have a serious conversation with Eleanor and evaluate your relationship.”

“And what about this other girl I was talking about?” I ask hopefully.

“You should figure things out with Eleanor before you open things up with this other girl. End things before you start things, that's the logical thing to do.” She smiles at me and pulls the blanket off. “Now go get your stuff so I can show you to your room. This mama is tired and needs her beauty sleep.”

I nod, if only she knew she doesn't need any beauty sleep.

Notes

Can you believe it...30 chapters and they're still not officially together. :)

Lots of Louis POV, I feel like telling this section from his voice is best so just get used to it. :) Hope you all love it.

THANK YOU for everything you do. I wouldn't have a story without you. As always, love hearing from you.

Have a fantastic Wednesday!!

xoxox

P.S. We'll find out what happens with Eleanor soon. Promise.