When I'm Gone

Kate's POV

Louis Tomlinson is a lifesaver. I have no idea what I would have done if he couldn't have come and help me. I suppose Olivia could have stayed home from school and I could have tried to rally but I don't know if I really could have.

Olivia couldn't stop raving about Louis. She was so excited to see him. She wouldn't stop talking about him when she got home from school. In fact I know she talked about him during school because when I had e-mailed her teacher about Louis picking her up her teacher had told me Olivia was talking non stop about him. She was even more excited when Louis stayed that evening.

They made pizza together. Louis said it was a family recipe but when I went downstairs I saw the pizza crust mix and the empty pizza sauce jar in the sink but I didn't want to ruin the fun. She even suckered him into reading her eight bedtime stories. Eight.

As for me, I drifted in and out of sleep while Louis and I watched movies. He picked them all out, I never made it through a whole one. But every time I woke up, he was there, asking if I need anything, if I wanted anything. He held my hair back when I threw up, even cleaned the floor when I didn't quite make it. He was very kind.

I haven't really brought up Eleanor, I know I try to act all calm and collected but it's just one of those things, I don't want to know. It hurts me enough to think about him being with her I'd rather him not speak about it too. He never really brings it up either. It's apparently an unwritten rule for us.

We haven't kissed, everything is platonic. We're just friends. I told him I refuse to be a side chick a long time ago and I'll only be with him if he's not with Eleanor. And he's still with Eleanor so we're friends. But that's what he wants, so I have to respect that.

It's been a week since I've seen Louis, I can't believe he stayed all day, and Olivia is still asking to see him everyday. She was held up at school right now, she loves her teacher and her school and they take such good care of her. I was terrified about her first day but I met with a team of teachers before school started to fill them in on every piece of her condition and any warning signs of her cancer returning. Neuroblastoma is a very aggressive form of cancer, we never know when and if it will come back. It's always in the back of my mind.

I haven't talked to my mom for a while so I decided to give her a ring today, it's close to eight am there, she wakes up super early everyday so I know she'll be there.

“Hello.” She answers, bright and cheery.

“Hey mom. How are you?” I snuggle a blanket closer to me in my recliner.

“I'm good. I'm good. Just sorting laundry. You?”

“Not a lot, just waiting for Olivia to get done with school for the day. We're going to pick pumpkins for Halloween.”

“Oh, I miss you two! You'll have to record carving them or call us for Facetime and we can do it together.” I can hear her smiling through the phone.

“That's a great idea mom. How's dad?”

“Just being your father. He wants to go to Washington DC and visit the war memorials.” I instantly pull my laptop out and start doing some research.

“When do you guys want to go?” I say absentmindedly as I click through a bunch of websites.

“I think for his 60th in the beginning of November.” I can hear her flipping her calendar.

“Well just let me know and you know I'll help out any way I can.” Dad is retired Navy, we jumped around until Nathan got sick then dad retired but if it were up to him he would have stayed in forever. He's all about military history so it doesn't surprise me he wants to go back to DC to visit. I think out of all the places we lived in he liked Annapolis the most.

“How's that boy?” I instantly know she's talking about Louis. She's my mom, I pretty much tell her everything. But I left out the whole kissing, having sex with a man who has a girlfriend part.

“Louis?” I remind her.

“Yeah, him.” Mom can be pretty blunt. “Have you ran into him yet?” Mom's my best friend but with the time change we don't keep up as well as we could.

“Um, I actually have. He's doing well. I was sick last week and he came over to take Olivia to school and he picked her up. It was super helpful.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“Nothing. He's still with that girl.” I shrug my shoulders even if you can't see them.

“But you like him.” She points it out like I have no idea.

“It's not simple mom. He has to make that decision himself and if he wants to be with her then he's with her. His decision isn't up to me.” I close my laptop, suddenly not interested in DC research.

“Does he know how you feel? Maybe he's not making that leap of faith because he doesn't know that you like him. He's not going to split up with his fiance because he thinks you like him Kate, he has to know.”

I nervously glance at the clock. “Hey mom, sorry but I gotta go pick up Olivia from school. I'll talk to you later. Love you!” I quickly hang up the phone, why am I so scared to admit anything to Louis? Or my mom for that matter? She's never even met Louis and her telling me to do this is making me act like a 15 year old.

Can I come over?

I have literally stared at this text for the last 15 minutes. Olivia and I had picked out two pumpkins to carve for Halloween tonight. We had everything all planned out and Louis texted me. I didn't know how to respond. I felt so stupid. It's just a stupid text. I shrug my shoulders and type my response.

We're carving pumpkins tonight so you can if you want.

That sounds normal right? Before I change my mind, I send it. Can't take a text back anyway. Before I can think about it more my phone pings alerting me that he's already responded.

Nice! I'll pick one up on the way over.

Well, looks like Louis is coming. I try to hide my smile but I just can't. This is just killing me.

“Louis is coming over to help!” I act cheerful towards Olivia. We're just finishing up our chicken noodle soup, the wind picked up quite a bit today so I felt like it was necessary for soup today.

“Good! I can show him my picture!” She hops off the stool and races to the front where her backpack is, she drew a picture of Louis and her the day I was sick and she's been waiting to give it to him. While she's there digging in her pack the doorbell rings and I can hear Louis shouting that it's him.

Olivia swings the door open wide, “LOUIS!” I come through the living room to the entry way and see Louis, holding a giant pumpkin.

“Hey Princess!” He sets the pumpkin down and gives Livia a huge hug then looks up at me. “Hey Kate. Thanks for letting me come over.” I smile at him.

“You eaten yet? I made chicken noodle soup if you want some.” I point to the kitchen as if he has no idea where it's at. I mentally facepalm, I'm such an idiot sometimes.

“Yeah, that would be great. Thank you.” He hangs his coat up and slips his shoes off following us back to the kitchen to eat. I serve him up a bowl and Olivia demands that he sits by her. Thankfully it's on the other side of me.

“So did you already have a pumpkin? You came over pretty fast.” It's true, he lives about a half an hour away with traffic and he came over in a zip.

“Oh, I was close, I'll tell you the rest later.” I nod, wondering why he won't say out loud.

“Mommy said you're getting married. Can we come?” Olivia asks and I literally cringe, I know he won't be inviting us and Olivia won't understand.

“Olivia, that's not very nice. You can't invite yourself. It's probably too late for us to go anyway. They have to know long before the wedding whose coming.” I try to save Louis and I look at him he give me a nod and a tight smile.

“But I want to go.” She whines. She's four, what can I say.

“It won't be very much fun anyway Olivia.” Louis smiles at her, why would he say that?

Notes

Not a whole lot going on with this chapter but things are coming. :)

Thanks for all you all do. Love that you love this story, over 10,000 views is always amazing to me...well the fact that anyone wants to read what I write is amazing.

Happy (??) Monday.

xoxo