When I'm Gone

Louis' POV

I stayed with Kate for a few hours, well until she had to go pick up Olivia. I wanted to come with her and surprise Olivia, I haven't seen her in forever but I had to get going. We had gone on tour over the summer celebrating our fifth studio album and now we “relaxed” Not a word that us guys really know but we still had to get together to approve things and such.

Tonight we were looking at new merchandise. Clothes, backpacks, random junk if you ask me. But it's stuff that people want so we design it and approve it so others can enjoy it.

I pulled up to the office and fight the paparazzi to get inside. I see Niall and Liam already there waiting so I plop down on the couch next to them.

“Why are you smiling so much Louis?” Liam asked. I hadn't even realized that I couldn't stop smiling since I left. I felt truly happy. I haven't felt like this in a long time.

“Oh, yeah, just having a good day.” I shrug, Liam wasn't ever a fan of me and Kate, just because I'm with Eleanor. I know he likes her but he doesn't approve of my sneaking around.

All the guys know about what happened with Kate. When you spend so much time with them, you just can't hide stuff. When we went over to the States for tour this past summer we went to Memphis, but when I called St. Jude's Olivia wasn't there. We went to Kansas but I had no idea where she lived and she wasn't in the phone book. I was at a loss. I was desperate to see her.

I literally clung to Twitter for her updates. I couldn't really respond to her because everything I do is so public, I didn't want anyone to know about her or assume anything. It would kill me if people thought terrible of her just because of our friendship.

I felt a nudge and turned to Niall.

“So what's up?” He asks. I look over and see Liam chatting it up with the receptionist about Sophia.

“I ran into Kate today.” I admit.

“WHAT?” His eyes wide and excited. “When? How? What happened?” He's suddenly excited, looking like a kid at Christmas.

“Calm down.” I motion for him to tone his voice down. “I went down to the hospital to drop off a bunch of coloring books and crayons and she was just there. She was apparently paying people's medical bills and when she saw me she ran off.”

“So what did you do?” He inches closer to me. I love it when Niall get's excited.

“I followed her. She moved to Belgravia, right on Chester Square, so I followed her and wouldn't take no for an answer when I asked to be let in and talk.”

“Wow, that's a really nice area.” He leans back. “So what happened?”

“Nothing. We talked, had tea, she cut her hand on cup I dropped. It's weird, like nothing happened. Like we didn't spend a whole year apart.” I can't hide this smile.

“So now what?”

“I don't know. I didn't really talk about it. I was just surprised she let me in. And she let me stay. I hadn’t realized how much I missed her. I had butterflies in my stomach like the whole time I was with her.” I admit.

“Well, maybe you can figure it out.” He nudges me again.

“Figure what out?” I ask furrowing my brows.

“Between Kate and Eleanor.” He has that “duh” tone to his voice.

“Niall, it's getting too late. El and I are two months away from the big day.” I shake my head.

“Don't be stupid Louis. I haven't seen you smile that big for a year. A fucking year. You're just stupid if you let her walk away without trying.” Niall crosses his arms and looks away.

“It's not that simple.”

“Yes it is. It's yes or no. It's now or never. Don't let your decision be something you regret for the rest of your life.”

“What would you do?” I ask, really interested in what he has to say.

“Honestly? I'd end it with El and get to know Kate. She seems like she's someone who would fit with you and not take your crap. Which says a lot.” He laughs.

“Yeah, we'll see.” I sit back, alone in my thoughts. Sometimes the mind is the most dangerous place.

Longest day ever.

We spent forever picking new designs and styles. It's quite difficult when you have five different personalities and people trying to all agree on the same thing takes time. I spent half the meeting pissed because people couldn't make up their minds. Or kept changing their minds.

I wanted to see Eleanor.

I raced home to see her car in the drive and couldn't wait to see her. Oddly because I was finally going to take an honest look at our relationship. And see if I had the guts to do what people that know about Kate have been telling me.

I accidentally shut the door harder then I would have liked but I'm here.

“Eleanor?” I call out while hanging up my jacket and slipping out off my shoes. “Eleanor, where are you?” I sing out looking in the living room and continuing my search to the kitchen where I see her stirring something on the stove.

“Hey.” She turns and smiles at me. That's why I can't say goodbye. Eleanor will make people happy, she'll make anyone happy. I feel so guilty to even feel something else toward someone because I have this perfect human being in front of me. Why would I ever want to hurt her?

“How are you?' I snake my arms behind her and rest my chin on her shoulders, watching her cook.

“Good. Just had a busy day, wedding planning.” I see her smile out of the corner of my eye. It truly will break my heart if I choose Kate.

“Oh yeah? Anything I should know about?” I ask. I really don't care about the planning but I still want to help her.

“Well do you care if we have daisy’s or roses?”

“Nope.” I pop the p in the word. I really don't care. I let out a small chuckle.

“That's what I thought. Would you please get out of the kitchen so I can cook?” She asks.

“I can't stand with you?” I ask, just a little confused.

“If you want to.” She shrugs her shoulders.

“What's the matter?” I ask. She usually never pushes me away.

“Nothing Louis. I just have been surrounded by people all day asking me questions and it's annoying. I just want to be alone.”

“Okay.” I throw my hands up and walk out of the kitchen. But it doesn't last long. She's been distant lately and I hate that. “Seriously Eleanor, what's the matter?”

She drops her spoon loudly on the counter and slowly turns to me. “Can I not just be alone Louis? Do you always have to be around me?” When I see her face she's angry, quite honestly it makes me nervous.

“I just wanted to hang out.” My eyes dart nervously back and forth, almost afraid of her.

“Well I don't want to hang out with you.” She spits back at me.

“Did I do something wrong?” I'm honestly so flabbergasted that this is happening.

“Oh, now you want to help me? Now you want to hang out with me? Where where you when I need help making wedding decisions? Hum? When I asked for your help with the colors of our wedding or the style of bridesmaid dresses I wanted or the venue. Anything.” She bites her lip still apparently holding back on her words.

“You never asked me for help!!” I shout back at her. “I don't care if we get married behind the supermarket, barefoot and naked Eleanor!” Quite frankly her mood pisses me off.

“Of course you would say that. You never listen to me anyway. You're such an ass.” She turns her back to me and I'm utterly speechless. “You know what? I'm done. I'm leaving. Enjoy your dinner.” She throws the spoon on the counter and deliberately pushes past me running upstairs. I'm stoic just standing here when I hear her run down the steps and slam the door.

What the hell just happened?

Notes

I just love writing about Niall...perhaps my next story will be about him, only if I think of something good.

Another chapter of Louis conflicted. Wonder what's happening with Eleanor. :)

Love you all! Thank you so much for your comments, votes, reads, and subscriptions. Hope you all had a fantastic Halloween...Derby tomorrow between United and City...nervous and extremely excited! :)

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