Everything I Didn't Say

Michael Pov
"You know I can't do that" she said before I took the blade from her trembling fingers.
“Babe, you need to talk to me. You know what he said wasn’t true!” I said a little too loudly than I hoped.
“Tarah, when I tell you I love you, i don’t say it out of habit. I say it to remind you the best thing that happened in my life.” I told her and her head snapped up.
“Really?” she asked her eyes are bloodshot and puffy.
“Yeah.” I told her and she buried her face into my chest.
“I love you.” she said and I kissed her temple. “Please don’t ever leave me.” she added and started to cry in my chest.
“I won’t ever leave you.” I said and she looking at me with bloodshot eyes.
“Thank you.” she said leaning upward to kiss me. I obliged.
“I love you so much babe. You mean everything to me.” I told her after pulling away.
“Lets go to bed. It’s really late.” I said and she smiled putting her small arm around my back.
“I can’t believe we are going to be parents.” she said and I smiled.
“Neither can I. I love you and the baby so much!” I said and she kissed my cheek.
“Can I wear the shirt you’re wearing to bed?” she asked and I nodded.
“We are going to call for an appointment before we go to bed.” I said and she smiled while nodding.
“Okay.” she kissed my lips.
“The appointment is tomorrow at 3 in the afternoon.” I told her and she lied down pulling

Tarah’s POV
It is getting hard for me to sleep. I can’t seem to get comfortable. I look at the clock and it reads 4:58 AM we don’t have to wake up for another three hours for the photoshoot and recording. What the fuck is wrong with me? I wont be able to perform when I get too big! While I am thinking these stupid things I run to the bathroom. I bend over the toilet feeling sick. Is this a fucking phase? I will have to ask the doctor that later.
“Tarah?” I heard Michael walk into the bathroom. “Oh my god are you okay?!” he added running over to me. I nodded. “Yeah, I’m not buying it.” he said and I laughed wiping my mouth with the towel.
“Can you get me some water?” I asked and he nodded. “Thanks.” I said and he walked out of the room. Minutes later he came back in with a glass of water. “Thanks.” I said again, taking the glass from his hand.
“You’re welcome.” he said and I smiled. “I love you.” he said kissing my sweaty forehead.
“I love you.” I said back and he kneeled down next to me.
“Are you okay?” he asked again.
“No. I don’t know what’s wrong.” I answered honestly. I have never been around pregnant people. I am and have always been an only child. And my mum never talked about it with me.
“I will call the doctor see if we can get an earlier appointment.” he said standing to help me up. I nodded and he picked me up bridal style and carried me to our room. He gently lied me on the bed and sat down next to me. He held my hand while he called the hospital.
After a few minutes he hung the phone up. “We are scheduled for an earlier appointment at 5:30.” he said and I smiled.
“Okay. Well it’s already 5:15, we can start to get ready now.” I said. “Can you hand me my sweatpants? Please.” I said and he nodded getting up and heading over to my large dresser. He handed me a pair of fluffy cloud sweatpants. I slid them up my legs then looked over to see Michael starting to get dressed. I watched as his muscles moved with his large torso. He is so hot.
“Ready?” He asked and I smiled.
“Yeah.” I answered standing up. He helped me walk to the car. He opened my side door and I climbed in. As soon as he got into the car, he started it then backed out of the driveway. It took ten minutes to get there so the place was pretty empty.
“Tarah Caffrey. You can go ahead and come on in.” the doctor whos name tag said ‘Hayes Grier’ said. He looked about my age and was pretty good looking.
“Hi.” Michael flatley responded. I nudged him in his side with my elbow.
“Hi, I’m Tarah.” I shook the man’s hand.
“Hayes.” he said smiling. “Right this way.” he said pointing down the hallway to an open door.
“Okay, what seems to be the problem this morning?” he asked as I climbed onto the hospital bed.
“I couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning, I couldn’t seem to figure out how to get comfortable. Then as I was starting to drift, I got sick.” I said and he wrote it all on a notepad.
“Okay, this is called morning sickness. You get it about three weeks into the pregnancy. You can expect this any time during the day and night. Now I am going to take your blood pressure then we can do a sonogram.” Hayes said and Michael and I both nodded. I gave him my right arm for him to take my blood pressure. “Now the not being able to sleep, it can be from stress. Did you just find out you’re pregnant?” he asked and I nodded. “Okay well, if you could pull your shirt up just above your stomach we can do the sonogram.” he said and I lied back lifting my shirt just under my boobs. “This is going to be cold so bear yourself.” he said and I chuckled. Tiny goose bumps raised on my arms when the gel hit my skin. He took a small stick thing and rubbed it around my stomach. “Okay, everything seems to be looking good. You’re about 3 weeks pregnant. And.. here.. is.. your.. baby..” he said the last part slowly. He pointed to the screen where what looks like a bean sits inside me. He put a little drawing on the screen. It had a few arrows that was followed by “BABY”.
“That’s our baby.” Michael said teary eyed.
“I know.” I said.
“I love you.” he said just as the doctor stood up.
“I am going to print these off for you I will be right back.” the doctor said and I nodded, dismissing him.
“I can’t believe this is happening.” Michael said eyeing the monitor.
“I know neither can I.” I said kissing him.
“Here is a copy of the sonogram. You will see the baby in the video. The pictures are little and hard to see unless you put it to the light. I am going to prescribe you prenatal vitamins. If you could come back in about four weeks that would be great.” the doctor said and I nodded jumping from the table after wiping the gel off my skin.
“Thank you so much for giving us an earlier appointment.” I said smiling.
“No problem at all. What are doctors for?” he said jokingly.
“Okay, we have a photoshoot babe.” Michael said and I smiled up at him then turning my attention back to the doctor.
“Thanks again Dr. Grier.” I said shaking his hand.
“Just call me Hayes.” he said and I smiled.
After our final goodbyes Michael and I left the office.
“Are you okay Michael?” I asked knowing he was going to be pissed. That’s what I love most about him. I hate it but nothing turns me on more than angry Michael. He can get so jealous over the littlest things. It is so cute but it scares me at times. Especially after what Ashton said to me last night. He makes me so happy when he gets mad at me. It makes me know that he really does care. i mean if we ever went into a fight so bad he said he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby, I wouldn’t believe him because I would know he wasn’t telling the truth. I would know he’s lying.
“What’re you thinking?” he asked me calmly.
“What? Oh, um nothing… Just well… Nevermind.” I stuttered.
“Please tell me.” he begged and I sighed in defeat.
“I was just thinking that like… what if we got in a huge fight and you said you wanted nothing to do with me or the baby?” I said my voice cracking at the end.
“Tarah. Stop thinking like that. I would never say that. I am and always will be here for you and the baby no matter what.” he said making me smile.
“I love you.” I said and he put his hand on my thigh.
“I love you.” he said back. “What kind of songs are you recording?” he asked and I looked over at him to see his eyes locked on the road.
“I am writing a song right now, I am having um… Ed Sheeran help me. I am going to be recording covers of songs from a few different genres to find out where i should be.” I said and he glanced at me. “My recording is at 8:30 if you want to come.” I said and his smile grew.
“I would love to come for you babe, but we are in a car right now. That will have to wait til tonight.” he said and I smacked his arm playfully. “I would love to go and support you though.” he added and I nodded. “I would love that.” I said just as we were arriving at the house.
“What songs are you doing covers of?” he asked and I smiled.
“Well the recording isn’t for another two hours so I guess I could go ahead and make a list of the songs.“Heres a notebook. You can write the songs you want to sing in it.” he said kissing my temple.
“Thanks, babe.” I said and he chuckled sitting next to me on the bed with my guitar in his hand.
“I know I want to do Halo. That is a no brainer.” I said and he started playing it on the guitar. My eyes lit up with excitement.
“Sing it with me.” I said and he nodded starting over.
“Remember those walls I built?
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound
I found a way to let you in
But, I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now
It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm taking
I ain't never gonna shut you out!
Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby, I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby, I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away
I can feel your halo, halo, halo
I can see your halo, halo, halo
I can feel your halo, halo, halo
I can see your halo, halo...
Halo, ooh ooh...
Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light
I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget to pull me back to the ground again
And It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm taking
I'm never gonna shut you out!
Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby, I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby, I can feel your halo
I pray it won't fade away
I can feel your halo, halo, halo
I can see your halo, halo, halo
I can feel your halo, halo, halo
I can see your halo, halo...
Halo, ooh ooh...
I can feel your halo, halo, halo
I can see your halo, halo, halo
I can feel your halo, halo, halo
I can see your halo, halo...
Halo, ooh ooh...
Halo, ooh ooh...
Halo, ooh ooh, oh...
Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby, I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby, I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away
I can feel your halo, halo, halo
I can see your halo, halo, halo
I can feel your halo, halo, halo
I can see your halo, halo...
Halo, ooh oh...
I can feel your halo, halo, halo
I can see your halo, halo, halo
I can feel your halo, halo, halo
I can see your halo, halo...
Halo, ooh oh…” We sang not noticing the small audience joining us in the room. I jotted down a few more songs to sing, including, You and I, Amnesia, Beside You, Heartache On The Big Screen and a few more songs.
“Okay we have to go.” I said picking up my pair of ripped skinny jeans. “What shirt should I wear?” I asked Michael.
“Your rolling stones tanktop.” he said “It looks hot on you.” he added just as Zayn walked in wearing his nerdy glasses. I have to admit he is hot in them. I can’t tell Michael though. He will flip the fuck out on me. I can’t have that. “Hey Mikey, what song was that you and Tarah were…” he stopped mid sentence after his eyes landed on me with no top aside from my bra. My cheeks flushed a crimson red as I pulled the tank top over my head. He is still staring at me when I turn around.
“Eyes are up here Malik!” I laughed and he shook his head out of his thoughts.

Zayn’s POV
“Hey Mikey, what song was that you and Tarah were…” I stopped mid sentence after my eyes landed on Tarah in her Cyan colored lace bra. She is gorgeous. If she didn’t date Michael I would have her to myself. I have the biggest crush on her. I don’t get it though. She makes me forget about everything! Damn, she is beautiful. Everything is moving slowly as she pulls her tank top over her blue hair.
“Eyes are up here Malik!” she laughed and I shook my head from my thoughts. Her blue eyes are staring up at me.
“Oh yeah erm sorry.” I stated simply.
“Yeah, what was it you needed Zayn?” Michael asked a little annoyed but not angry. He knows about my crush. He knows the feelings I have for her.
“Oh I was wondering if on the next tour if you and Tarah wanted to sing that song as a duet. You guys are… erm sound good together.” I said stuttering with my words.
“Sure” he said looking at Tarah. She smiled before turning her attention back to me.
“Yes. Thanks Malik.” she said and I smiled only to turn crimson.
“I heard you’re having a recording today. Can I go? I mean I am helping you write your new song.” I said and Michael stood up.
“HE’S HELPING YOU?! WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!” he shouted at her and she looked at me tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
“I really was going to but there is a big reason I didn’t.” she said calmly.
“WHAT WAS THE REASON?” he asked still yelling.
“Just forget it, Michael. Zayn lets go, I’m ready.” she said after putting her black converse on.
”Oh. Okay.” I said not knowing how Michael will take this.
“Bye.” she said closing the door.
“I’m sorry.” she said after we got into the car.
“It’s fine. He can’t know the song is for him yet.” she said and I smiled.
“You look beautiful.” I said and put my hand on her thigh. She is wearing her nerdy glasses as well and it makes her outfit pull together.

Michael’s POV
“Just forget it, Michael. Zayn lets go, I’m ready.” she said after pulling her black converse on over her feet. As soon as the door closed I immediately fell to my knees. How did I let her go again? We are engaged but it isnt the same not having her with me. What if something happens to her or the baby? What if they heck? What if she gets taken? What if she doesn’t come back for me but if she comes back for Ed or Zayn? Man, I am so protective since I found out about the baby. Zayn and Ed are helping her write a song. What if that’s not what they are doing? What if she is really just hanging out with Zayn to spite me? “Shit” I shouted getting my shoes on and grabbing my phone. It’s been fifteen minutes so she is already at the studio. I have called her five times by the time I get there and I got voicemail every time. When I get there Zayn is in the sound room singing and dancing with Tarah. It looks like they are doing the Waltz.
“Take my hand take a breath pull me close and take one step keep your eyes locked on mine and let the music be your guide.” Tarah sang beautifully.
“Won’t you promise me (now won’t promise me, that you’ll never forget) We’ll keep dancing (to keep dancing) wherever we go next.” they sang and I am glad that they can’t see me.
“It’s like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you It’s one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do And with every step together, we just keep on getting better so can I have this dance (can I have this dance) can I have this dance” they sang together sounding somewhat decent.
“Take my hand, I’ll take the lead and every turn will be safe with me don’t be afraid, afraid to fall you know i’ll catch you threw it all.” Zayn sang and I lean against the door behind me quietly. I search the room and find Ed sitting in a chair with a coffee.
“And you can’t keep us apart (even a thousand miles, can’t keep us apart) ‘cause my heart is (cause my heart is) wherever you are.” they sang and I don’t know what to think of this.
“It’s like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you it’s one in a million the chances of feeling the way we do and with every step together we just keep on getting better so can I have this dance (can I have this dance) can I have this dance” the music stopped and Zayn and Tarah came out of the recording room.
“Alright Tarah that performance was amazing. But we still have a few more verses to learn. The last two and a few more songs to finish writing.” Ed said.
“Can I record Right Here Right Now first? I think that’s my best so far.” she asked and he shooed her and Zayn off into the recording room.
“Ed write the lyrics as we go.” Zayn called out and Ed nodded.
“Can you imagine? What would happen? If we could have any dream. I’d wish this moment was ours to own it and that it would never leave.” Zayn sang softly into the mic.
“Then I would thank that star that made our wish come true cause he knows that where you are I should be too” Tarah sang high. I bet it hurts.
“Right here, right now I’m lookin’ at you and my heart loves the view cause you mean everything right here i promise you somehow that tomorrow can wait for some other day to be but right now there’s you and me.” they sang together. Him hitting low notes and her hitting notes i didn’t even know existed.
“If this was forever, what could be better we’ve already proved it works but in two thousand one hundred twenty-three hours A bend in the universe is gonna make everything in our whole world to change and you know that where we are will never be the same. Oh no Right here right now i’m lookin’ at you and my heart loves the view cause you mean everything right here, i promise you somehow tomorrow can wait for some other day to be but right now there’s you and me oh we know it’s comin’ and it’s comin’ fast (but there’s always you and me) oh yeah” Tarah sang high but loud at the same time. Damn I never knew she was that talented.
“So lets make this second last” Zayn sang hitting a short high note.
“Make it last.” they sang together.
“Right here” Zayn sang closing his eyes.
“Oh right now” Tarah sang softer.
“Yeah Im lookin at you” Zayn sang looking at Tarah. Her eyes closed.
“And my heart loves the view” Tarah sang more beautiful than ever.
“Cause you mean everything” Zayn sang looking Tarah in the eyes.
“Right here I promise somehow” They sang together.
“That tomorrow can wait” Zayn sang softly.
“Some other day to be” Tarah sang loudly
“To be but right now there’s you and me” Zayn sang loudly.
“You and me” Tarah sang beautifully.
“You and me” Zayn sang annoying me.
“Oh you and me” Tarah sang softly.
“But right now is” Zayn sang getting soft.
“You and me” they sang together.
“The song was great you guys!” Ed said through the speakers.
“Thanks. I really liked it. I can’t believe we just sang that. Zayn you sounded great.” Tarah complimented.
“Thanks but you were better.” Zayn said smiling. She hugged them both.
“Maybe we can finish Should’ve said no tomorrow.” she said chuckling.
“Yeah. If we get that far.” Zayn joked and they doubled over in laughter.
“Zayn can you take me home?” Tarah asked and he nodded.
“That was a good job today. I am proud of you. And congrats on the baby Tarah. I am sure you and Michael will be great parents.” Ed said giving her a huge hug. I silently left the label as a tear fell from my eye. I got in my car and left. I don’t know exactly where I am going but I know it won’t be good. Before I know what I am doing, I am dialing her number. She answers on the third ring.
“Hey Mikey!” she shouted through the phone.
“Hey Ariana.” I said and could hear her frown appearing on the other end.
“He Mike what’s wrong?” she asked and I frowned.
“Are you in town?” I asked her. She moved here last year with her mum after her father came home drunk and high with another girl.
“Yeah.” she simply stated.
“Cool. Meet me at pizza hut.” I said.
“Okay.” she said and after our short goodbyes we hung up.

Tarah’s POV
I know Michael was listening and watching me perform with Zayn. That’s why I chose to sing Right Here Right Now. I wrote that song for him and I to sing but I knew it would drive him nuts to hear me sing it with Zayn. I tried to call him after I heard the door close but he didn’t answer. I called three more times when I finally gave up. I felt a tear escape my eye as Zayn drove. I tried to hide my red face but I don’t think it worked.
“Tarah.. Why are you crying?” he asked me and I shook my head. I know I’m not crying because he won’t answer his phone it’s the stupid pregnancy mood swings that are doing this to me.
“Just a mood swing” I inform him and he put his hand on my thigh.
“Okay. Are you sure?” he asked and I nodded. “I’m glad I met you, I hope you know that.” he added making me put my hand over his. Michael already knows I do that with Zayn Michael only said he can’t be too touchy and we can’t sleep together or make out which is fine by me. I am surprised he allows a peck on the lips every now and then. He knows Zayn has been my celebrity crush since forever.
“Zayn…” I said sinking in what he just told me.
“Yeah babe?” he asked me and I looked at him. He has never called me babe before. Well he has but not in a sincere moment.
“How am I going to do this?” I asked just as we pulled into the driveway.
“If you need a babysitter, like ever. Call me I will be right across the hall. Or if Michael is being a dick I will comfort you. I am sorry he won't pick up. I am sorry it couldn’t be me.” he said the last part too quiet. I almost couldn’t hear him.
“Zayn. I don’t know if I can take all of the fighting.” I said honestly starting to cry as he got out of the car and ran to my side.
“I know it will be hard. I understand that but you need to try and stay calm.” he said and I smiled.
“How do you always know what to say?” I asked him and he smirked.
“I have always loved you. I have grown to learn what you love hearing.” he said and I felt tears running down my cheeks. He pulled me into his chest and kissed the top of my head.
“I’m sorry Zayn.” I said and he chuckled.
“Why? You have nothing to be sorry for.” he said as a car pulled into the driveway.

Michaels POV
I called Ariana back and told her I have important last minute things to do for recording so I could go back to the house and apologize to Tarah. She kept calling me but I kept ignoring her. Why am I such a fuck up?
“Why? You have nothing to be sorry for.” Zayn said looking into her blue eyes. He leaned in and kissed her forehead. What the fuck is she sorry for? I quickly got out of my car and slammed my door shut.
“What the fuck are you sorry for?!” I shouted and she turned around with a blank expression. Though I can tell she has been crying. Did I do this?
“None of your business.” she said flatly. She’s grown some balls. I feel bad for her.
“Tarah I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to be a dick. You should have told me you were singing and dancing with Zayn.” I said then covered my mouth with my hand.
“YOU WERE THERE WHEN I TOLD YOU I DIDN’T WANT YOU THERE THEN WHEN I TRIED TO FUCKING CALL YOU, YOU DON’T ANSWER!” she shouted making me wince.
“I’m sorry.” is all I can say.
“FICKEN!” she shouted. When did she learn german?
“When did you learn german?” I asked her and she laughed.
“You speak it a lot.” she smiled. At least i know she isn’t pissed.
“I am so sorry Tarah. I shouldn’t have went and I shouldn’t have ignored you and I shouldn’t ha-” I started but she kissed me before I could finish. I missed this all day long.
“Would you like to learn can i have this dance?” she asked me and I nodded.
“Zayn. Teach me how to waltz with Tarah.” I said looking Tarah in the eyes. I could see him nod and head inside.
“Let’s do this in the ballroom.” Zayn said leading Tarah and I to a room we rarely go into. The room is a beautiful shade of blue with white snowflakes on the walls and dance floor.
“Okay, Michael you need to put this in the player.” Tarah said handing me a cd.
“Okay.” I said giving her a quick kiss.
The music started and Zayn told me to sit at a table.
“Take my hand” Tarah sang reaching her arm out with an open hand. Zayn placed his hand in hers.
“Take a breath.” she sang and he closed his eyes taking in a deep breath.
“And take one step.” she sang and he looked at the ground taking a step.
“Keep your eyes” she sang using her index finger to lift his chin.
“Locked on mine” she sang moving her hand around his ear to the back of his neck.
“And let the music” she put his hand on her waist.
“Be your guide” she cupped his hand and put her other hand on his shoulder.
“Won’t you promise me” he sang as they began to dance.
“Now wont you promise me” Tarah back up sang.
“That you’ll never forget.” they continued dancing.
“We’ll keep dancing. Wherever we go next” they sang looking in each others eyes.
They finished the song and I was amazed when he picked her up and bent her back and all of that. She seemed so happy but he smile didn’t reach her eyes.
“Okay, Mikey. Your turn. Zayn said he will sing for you but you’re dancing with me.” Tarah said and I happily walked to where she was standing and kissed her passionately. We stood a few feet away and she smiled while Zayn started the music.
“Zayn don’t sing.” I said quickly. He nodded.
We did the dance and I sang each of my parts on time. I am so happy.
“You did great babe.” Tarah praised and kissed me again.
“Congradulations. I am happy you guys are getting married and having a baby. I am so happy for you.” Zayn said kissing Tarah’s cheek. She blushed and her eyes sparkled as he pulled away her smile grew wider. He whispered something in her ear but I couldn’t make out what he said.

Notes

I made this chapter EXTRA long. Thanks CalumsBabe1996