one last dream(just an innocent darkness)

I couldn't sleep, I couldn't close my eyes for a second...
I couldn't take my eyes off of him, his soft skin lying perfectly under the white sheets, his chest slowly moving up and down...
So peaceful...so beautiful...so magical...
I'd never get tired of seeing him like this.
sometimes I just wonder, he's like a child under the skin of a man, so in need to be looked after, so in need to feel loved and I know I'm not the one who can give him what he wants, all I have is a heart and the funniest part is it might stop beating, but surely it will never stop feeling, loving and caring...But if the lego house we made with each other is bound to be broken, all I can do is to push harry away...
I wanted to tell him, but I didn't want to be defined by the truth...
I took a deep breath looking away from him, I slowly picked myself up from the bed going to the door, just in that second I heard a phone ringing, I looked over at harry who was still sleeping, I picked the phone up, taking it away with myself so it wouldn't wake him up, I went down to the kitchen, outside was still dark...
4am, I checked my phone, I was hungry, I walked to the fridge but the phone ringed again, umm so it's just 4am it must be something important right?should I wake harry up? I took the phone looking at the screen, it was written "AAA" as the name!
I should probably wake harry up, right?
The phone stopped ringing, and there was a voice massage.
Don't listen to it Rosa...Don't ....uhh.. well what if it's important?...okay listen to it!
"oh my god harry!??!! We are all drunk! You used to be the party animal....!!!"a girl said, actually shouted over the phone, okay it's definitely not from work, I frowned.
"come here baby!! Maybe we can have our little party like the one in Australia!" She said, and with that I felt my legs getting weak, my heart beating fast...
Their little party!?... harry was actually with a girl while on tour...??
I couldn't hear anymore , he was with another girl while I was at hospital!? He was with her all the time I felt I was the one betraying him because I kept my secret?! All this time, me thinking about love, his love...he ....
I couldn't breathe, perfect rose!
I hadn't realized I was actually sobbing.
I sat on the cold floor, pressing my back to the wall, trying to breathe...
I failed... my tears couldn't fall anymore, I couldn't hear myself cry but I know it was loud enough that made harry awake...
my vision got blurry, no please don't pass out!
Suddenly all the lights went on and I saw a figure rushing to me.
" oh my god... what is it!? rose what is it??"He asked furiously with his voice shaking.
I couldn't say anything, I needed air more than ever.
"I... can't..." it was all I could say, bringing my hand to my chest, the room is getting darker...
So that's it my dream crashing down...all in this night...
I can end right here, right now...
This moment isn't my fault...
it's

Notes

Hii!!! M back!!:}
I don't know how I feel about this chapter...uhh well things are about to change a lot, no relationship is ever perfect show right? U all know!;)))


loving u all stronger everyday:*
xoxo

A.M