The Party of my Life *COMPLETED*
Chapter 30
Niall P.O.V
I woke up very tired, got up and realized that I slept in the corner of the room like a dramatic emo child. I pondered on why then, my memory of what happened flooded back into my mind.
I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.
That sentence kept on replaying in my conscience.
Nobody likes you. Nobody likes you. Nobody likes you. Nobody likes you. Nobody likes you.
The images of what our 'fans' tweeted popped up like the screen was stuck.
More awful thoughts kept on creeping on me as I paced around my room and pulled my hair in disgust and frustration. Tears streamed down my flustered cheeks as my hands lace into my hair, forming fists, I would hit my head to try to knock out my unwanted thoughts.
I stopped myself and walked towards the wall, banging my head multiple times just so I could forget about my thoughts, my doubts, my insecurities. I would try screaming at myself in anger but nothing would come out like I was a mute. I couldn't speak for myself so the noise of my head contacting the wall filled the room.
I suddenly felt liquid stroll down from my forehead, it was red, it was blood. I never imagined myself hurting myself or anything but, this went too far and now I've basically self-harmed.
I quickly rush to the bathroom and wash my face, put medicine on my wound, patch it up with a band aid. It wasn't so big, just the size of a thumb print but, it hurt like hell.
I huffed and winced one last time before realizing what to do, I couldn't just hurt myself some more and make my horrible conscience win, I had to solve my issues by confronting them. I need to talk to Hannah and probably by now the lads would know as well.
As I was going down the stairs hesitantly and quietly, I could hear everyone talking. I think the YouTubers went to the apartment or something because all I heard were the girls and the lads.
They were talking about me and I know it isn't proper but, I sat down on a step where I could hear and see them properly and eavesdropped in their conversation.
I felt so guilty knowing that they have wasted their tears on me, useless and worthless me. Waterworks went at it again as I continued to listen to their conversation.
"So, what are we going to do about him?" Liam spoke up, I needed to hear an answer from them but, my mouth got the best of me.
"I don't know.." I whispered loud enough to make everyone's eyes set on me. I felt uncomfortable and sad, tears continued and I had planted my face in my hands so nobody could see me.
"I don't know what to do about me being so unworthy, ugly, and disgusting." I whimpered as I shook my head.
"Ni, You're no-" I cut off Zayn's sentence as I yelled, "I AM THOUGH! I AM!" I looked at their faces, they were tearing up and I knew what I just did was the reason. I went back to my postion in my hands to see darkness, darkness is where I belong.
Surprisingly, I felt arms around me as I looked up to see my friends have formed a group hug just for me. I've never felt so loved and cared for as I cried into their arms. We stayed like this for mintues.
"Ni, We all love you, we all need you.." Hannah was beside me as she whispered and hugged me, "I love you, I need you." she turned my head and gave me a kiss. She placed her head on my shoulder as everyone had risen up, leaving us with the moment.
Hannah P.O.V
After a few hours, we had dinner and fixed up the place and Niall was back to his old self, we all talked about it and kind of gave him an unexpected intervention of some kind. He took it all in and agreed that he should try his best to stop letting his thoughts drive him to do unrational things.
We were all in the living room watching telly and I noticed that the lads were grouped together whispering near the hallway.
I sneaked up on them and screamed, "WHAT SECRETS ARE YA UP TO NOW?!" they all jumped and screamed.
"GOD! You gave us heart attacks!" Louis yelled.
"You giving me a heart attack! OW!" I sang as I laughed, they gave me death glares but soon gave into laughter.
"So, what were you REALLY talking about?" Everyone was now in the living room all together, they seemed suspicious like they were hiding something.
"JUST TELL ME!" I whined while Niall snaked his arms around me.
"You'll see babe, I think it's time to sleep now." He whispered, I tried to protest but he had already carried me bridal style and we were now on his proper bed.
I was already in something like a sleeping attire so I just lied down and sighed. I closed my eyes as I felt Niall get under the cover with me.
"Sleepy?" he whispered, I groaned yes causing him to give out a chuckle. I smiled and opened my eyes and turned around to see him.
"Are you?" I cocked an eyebrow and closed my eyes again. I felt him nod yes as he wrapped his arms around my waist and I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck.
Things were going to get better, what happened today was just a bump on the road, it only showed us that not everything was perfect and sometimes things were tough. But now, we were all happy and that's what mattered the most.
After these thoughts went through my head, I fell asleep.
Niall P.O.V
Hannah was already asleep as I was still thinking about the surprise that was happening tomorrow, we were all going to London! I've contacted her parents and family 3 weeks ago and I was paying for their hotel, no need for the flights since I've borrowed my friend's jet for them to use, let's just say my friend is a well known person ;)
Anyways, everything must go perfectly. I just hope she'll like it!
I woke up very tired, got up and realized that I slept in the corner of the room like a dramatic emo child. I pondered on why then, my memory of what happened flooded back into my mind.
I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.
That sentence kept on replaying in my conscience.
Nobody likes you. Nobody likes you. Nobody likes you. Nobody likes you. Nobody likes you.
The images of what our 'fans' tweeted popped up like the screen was stuck.
More awful thoughts kept on creeping on me as I paced around my room and pulled my hair in disgust and frustration. Tears streamed down my flustered cheeks as my hands lace into my hair, forming fists, I would hit my head to try to knock out my unwanted thoughts.
I stopped myself and walked towards the wall, banging my head multiple times just so I could forget about my thoughts, my doubts, my insecurities. I would try screaming at myself in anger but nothing would come out like I was a mute. I couldn't speak for myself so the noise of my head contacting the wall filled the room.
I suddenly felt liquid stroll down from my forehead, it was red, it was blood. I never imagined myself hurting myself or anything but, this went too far and now I've basically self-harmed.
I quickly rush to the bathroom and wash my face, put medicine on my wound, patch it up with a band aid. It wasn't so big, just the size of a thumb print but, it hurt like hell.
I huffed and winced one last time before realizing what to do, I couldn't just hurt myself some more and make my horrible conscience win, I had to solve my issues by confronting them. I need to talk to Hannah and probably by now the lads would know as well.
As I was going down the stairs hesitantly and quietly, I could hear everyone talking. I think the YouTubers went to the apartment or something because all I heard were the girls and the lads.
They were talking about me and I know it isn't proper but, I sat down on a step where I could hear and see them properly and eavesdropped in their conversation.
I felt so guilty knowing that they have wasted their tears on me, useless and worthless me. Waterworks went at it again as I continued to listen to their conversation.
"So, what are we going to do about him?" Liam spoke up, I needed to hear an answer from them but, my mouth got the best of me.
"I don't know.." I whispered loud enough to make everyone's eyes set on me. I felt uncomfortable and sad, tears continued and I had planted my face in my hands so nobody could see me.
"I don't know what to do about me being so unworthy, ugly, and disgusting." I whimpered as I shook my head.
"Ni, You're no-" I cut off Zayn's sentence as I yelled, "I AM THOUGH! I AM!" I looked at their faces, they were tearing up and I knew what I just did was the reason. I went back to my postion in my hands to see darkness, darkness is where I belong.
Surprisingly, I felt arms around me as I looked up to see my friends have formed a group hug just for me. I've never felt so loved and cared for as I cried into their arms. We stayed like this for mintues.
"Ni, We all love you, we all need you.." Hannah was beside me as she whispered and hugged me, "I love you, I need you." she turned my head and gave me a kiss. She placed her head on my shoulder as everyone had risen up, leaving us with the moment.
Hannah P.O.V
After a few hours, we had dinner and fixed up the place and Niall was back to his old self, we all talked about it and kind of gave him an unexpected intervention of some kind. He took it all in and agreed that he should try his best to stop letting his thoughts drive him to do unrational things.
We were all in the living room watching telly and I noticed that the lads were grouped together whispering near the hallway.
I sneaked up on them and screamed, "WHAT SECRETS ARE YA UP TO NOW?!" they all jumped and screamed.
"GOD! You gave us heart attacks!" Louis yelled.
"You giving me a heart attack! OW!" I sang as I laughed, they gave me death glares but soon gave into laughter.
"So, what were you REALLY talking about?" Everyone was now in the living room all together, they seemed suspicious like they were hiding something.
"JUST TELL ME!" I whined while Niall snaked his arms around me.
"You'll see babe, I think it's time to sleep now." He whispered, I tried to protest but he had already carried me bridal style and we were now on his proper bed.
I was already in something like a sleeping attire so I just lied down and sighed. I closed my eyes as I felt Niall get under the cover with me.
"Sleepy?" he whispered, I groaned yes causing him to give out a chuckle. I smiled and opened my eyes and turned around to see him.
"Are you?" I cocked an eyebrow and closed my eyes again. I felt him nod yes as he wrapped his arms around my waist and I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck.
Things were going to get better, what happened today was just a bump on the road, it only showed us that not everything was perfect and sometimes things were tough. But now, we were all happy and that's what mattered the most.
After these thoughts went through my head, I fell asleep.
Niall P.O.V
Hannah was already asleep as I was still thinking about the surprise that was happening tomorrow, we were all going to London! I've contacted her parents and family 3 weeks ago and I was paying for their hotel, no need for the flights since I've borrowed my friend's jet for them to use, let's just say my friend is a well known person ;)
Anyways, everything must go perfectly. I just hope she'll like it!
Awesome. Yay!! :)
7/4/13