If You Don't Know

“Pregnant?!” Max shouted. “You need to tell the doctor!!” I rolled my eyes, “Maybe the meds will make me have another miscarriage.” I growled. “Another?” He asked and I stopped. Shit. Fuck dammit. “Nothing.” I said and continued walking. We walked 5 miles to the psych house and were just in time for lunch. The doctor was waiting at the door. “Welcome back!” He smiled.


Max pulled him over and said a few things, then they came back. “So Mrs. Anderson, pregnant?” The doctor said and I shot Max a death look. The doctor took me into his office and shut the door, “There’s 3 things we can do here.” He spoke, “You can either stop taking the meds, or remain here for the rest of your month sentence, or have an abortion.” “And the last one?! I don’t like either of those options!” I shouted. He sighed, “You can be moved back in with Oli and Hannah, but you have to stay away from the boys.” He said and I smiled. “Option number 3, god please option number 3.” I smiled.


“We’ll call them to come get you in the morning. For now, go get some food.” He said and I excused myself. Max asked what was to happen to me, and I told him I was leaving. He looked sad and I apologized. But I couldn’t continue to be here, and then probably be showed illegal treatment again. God it was hell.


~Flashback~
“Come on Mrs. Anderson, it’s time to go get your treatment.” The doctor spoke. I was dragged by security guards down into the basement. I was laid on a table, and then my hands and feet were tied down to the bed with leather belts. I tried to move, but it was no use, they were too tight. I was injected with something, that still, to this day I don’t know what it was. To activate whatever it was, they put electric shocker things on my head. Nearly burnt it, but luckily, just as I could feel it begin to burn my skin they stopped.
I couldn’t scream, I was so little, maybe 14. I hadn’t met Oli or Hannah yet. They were injecting me with things every day, cutting open my skin, putting things in, taking the same thing out the next day. Half of the scars on my body are from them. I had to leave. So I tried escaping, no use. But after being in there for 4 months, I was released. Finally free.
~End Flashback~


~The Next Day~


As I sat in my room, waiting on Hannah and Oli to come and get me, I drew little things on the walls with my fingers. Max came in and handed me something. “Maybe your baby can play with it.” He smiled and handed it to me. It was a little bunny rabbit. “Awe Max! Did you make this?” I asked and he nodded. “I haven’t been honest with you though.” He frowned. “Why’s that?” I asked and he sat down, “I didn’t kill anyone, but myself. They admitted me here for the same reason as you.” “Max it’s okay. When do you get out?” I said smiling. “Next week.” He sighed. “Come visit me when you get out okay?” I said and he nodded. “Of course!”


I hugged him goodbye and we walked to the lobby, Hannah and Oli were sitting there. I rushed to them and hugged them both, “I’ve only been gone a day and a half but oh my god it feels like forever. OH! This is Max. He’s my new friend.” I said smiling. “Nice to meet you mate.” Oli said and shook his hand. I grabbed a piece of paper and pen from Hannah’s purse and handed him my number, “Call me when you’re out.” I smiled. He hugged me again. “Goodbye Tori.” He said, “Goodbye Max.” I waved goodbye and we left.


“Why are they letting you out?!” Hannah asked and my eyes widened. “They didn’t tell you?” I said confused. “Nope.” Oli spoke. “Well shit.” I laughed awkwardly, “I’m pregnant.” I said and the car stopped. “What?!” They both shouted in unison. “Haha… yeah… Ashton’s the dad.” I growled. “Awe honey.” Hannah sighed, “We’ll help you, and I know the boys will too.” She smiled. “I’m not supposed to hang out with the boys…” I whispered. “I don’t give a shit on what you’re supposed to do. They’re all so worried about you.” Oli hissed and I smiled, “I love you guys.” I laughed.


In 3 hours we were back at home. We went inside and Luke, Calum, and Michael were standing inside. Luke jumped up and hugged me tightly. “OH MY GOD TORI!!!!!!” They shouted. “Eww. It smells gross.” Michael said. “Sorry, I haven’t showered in a while.” I laughed awkwardly. “Come on.” Luke said and dragged me up the stairs and pushed me into the bathroom. “Shower!” He said and closed the door. With him gone, I took off the hospital scrubs and stepped into the warm water.


It felt so nice, the water, the soap. I looked at my wrists. God this was horrible, my cuts. They were so deep… I had never done anything that deep before… wow. Though, all I want right now is Ashton, he’s all I want to see. I want to smell his sent, and play with his curly hair. I sighed.


I finished cleaning myself up and threw a towel around my body. I walked into my room. There was blood all over the floor, well, in one spot. “Luke.” I spoke, hoping that I said it loud enough that he would hear it. “What is it darling?” He said peaking his head around the corner. “I need a rug. There should be one in the guest room where you guys are staying.” I said and he dashed into the other room and came back with a black rug. “Thanks.” I whispered. He came into my room and closed the door. “I’ll hide while you change.” He said and hid his face with a pillow.


I grabbed clothes out of my closet and put them on. I was going to throw my hair up, but then I saw one of Ashton’s bandanas and I almost broke. I took it and put it on. It looked really cute with my outfit. I did an easy smoky eyes and added lip gloss. By that time Luke had already turned around. “You shouldn’t wear that Tori.” He spoke sadly. “But I loved him.” I replied with so much sorrow in my voice. “I know sweetheart. But you’ll never get over him with that around.” He said and walked over to me and took it off.


I started crying. And Luke just sat there with me and comforted me. He kept telling me how sorry he was. How he wish that he could’ve done something to change it. But we all knew by now, nothing could’ve changed him.

Notes