I cup my shaking hands under the warm water and bring it to my dry face. The foreign yet familiar feeling sends chilly Goosebumps across my body. "Is it too warm, Carter? I can turn it colder." Stella asks nicely with her hand on the knob. I quickly shake my head before setting one foot at a time into the bath. I glance next to me at Michael, who takes my hands to help me as I gently sink myself into the water. I release a shiver once im fully in letting my bare skin adjusts to the feeling of warmth.
"You okay?" Michael asks me while kneeling next to me on the bathroom floor. I close my eyes and release a relaxed sigh, letting him know I'm fine. I use my hand thats not holding Michael's to hug my legs to my chest. The bath water shifts slightly then rests again at my ribs.

I feel Stella dig the large cup under the water then slowly pour it onto my head, making it more soaked everytime she pored more.

"What time is the concert, Michael?" Stella asked him, breaking the smooth silence. "Its at 2, earlier then usual. We kinda just wanted to get it over with." He tells her while rub his thumb softly against mine. "Yeah that makes sense. Calum really shouldn't be do it at all, though." Stella mumbles worriedly and shake her head. "I know, but it was his choice. He should be able to grieve in his own way." Michael replies and I mentally thanked him for allowing my brother to do so. Calum should be able to make it through how he chose to, we both should and I'm really thankful they were okay with that. Stella nods her head and the feeling of Michael's gentle lips against my hand gets me to open my eyes to look at him. I thought of smiling in this moment.. I really did, but I shoved away the thought and kept my lips straight.

After about twenty minutes of washing and rinsing my body I was finally clean. "All done." Stella announced as she squeezes water from my hair one last time. "Thank you." I spoke up quietly to her and she smiled sympathetically. I dont think of could've done it myself, I was seriously thankful. "No problem. I'll go get you some clothes." Stella says before she leaves the bathroom. I grip Michael's hands as I steady myself to stand up. I did feel a bit insecure with him seeing me naked, but it was my choice and I don't regret it. I needed him and he was here.

I set my feet from the now empty tub, to the bathrooms black shag rug. "Do you feel better, baby?" Michael's asks as he takes the soft white towel and wraps it around my damp body, then starts to dry my shoulders. I watch his features closely as he does this. "Mmm-hh." I hum and he looks from my shoulders to my eyes. My breath hitches as he slowly puts strands of hair behind my ear, then rest his hand against my cheek. His chest inches from touching mine. "Thank you... For trusting me to be in here with you. It means alot, Carter." His voice comes out a meaningful whisper, not loosing eye contact once I nod my head in response, his actions making me want to melt. Michael closes the inches between us by using his other hand to pull me closer by my waist. Our lips find eachother instantly. Not in force or urgency, it was gentle and warm.. Filled with care.
We pull away and for the second time, I think of smiling.. For the second time I push that thought away.

I look at Michael with an expression of shock and pleasure. He trails down my neck with kisses and reaches my bare shoulder for the last kiss. My eyes follow him every step. "Your so beautiful." Michael mumbles as he return his attention back to my eyes, never letting his hand drop from my cheek or waist. It seemed my eyes were smiling but my lips remained straight. "Thank you." I mumbled back and kissed his lips shortly. He's amazing.

A few minutes later Stella returns with some clothes for me then leaves again once I assure her I can change on my own and that Michael can help me. I wanted him to stay.

I changed into my baby blue pajama shirt, black flannel pj pants, and a pair of blue fluffy socks. Stella must have known I wasn't leaving this bus.

-------

Without realizing 2pm came quicker then I thought and the boys were preparing to leave the bus and go into the building to get ready. I haven't left Michael's side all day, I didn't really want him to go but I knew he had to so I didn't bother asking him to say. I couldn't do that, it wasn't fair to the band.

As everyone else is, I'm worried on how Calum will do tonight. We'll just have to see when they return to the bus. They wanted Stella and I to go in the building and wait but I didn't want to leave the bus and she wasn't going to leave me alone.

Everyone starts to hug eachother and say goodbye, but I don't say anything, I keep quiet like I have been. I hug Luke goodbye and I see something in his expression but I shrugged it off. "Thanks. Carter " He says and goes to hug Stella. I pull my brother close in a hug and sigh. "I love you." He mumbles and I nod back. We pull away and I furrow my eyebrows noticing it again. Before going to hug Michael. "See you soon beautiful." He gives me a sweet kiss that I return. "I'll miss you." He says. I think of it more as it shows in Michaels face too. Ashton then approaches me for a hug and I return it, but start to gather my confusion and sadness as I see it for the fourth time.. But After everyone says goodbye the boys leave to their concert i soon realize its been in their faces this whole three days..

The way they look at me..

Like I'm... Like I'm.. Broken.

And as Stella volunteered to make me some food, and i shook my head no, not loosing my gaze on counting the white specks.. I knew their expressions were right.

Notes

Did anyone else get the feels for the Michael part? Lol