For What It's Worth

* Present Day*

Ruby's POV-

Bottles were strewn across the floor half drunken or completely empty... Some even smashed into a million glass pieces. The music was blaring "Wasted" by Tiesto and how very ironic it was because every single person in this place was madly drunk and falling over their own feet.

There was yelling and cheering in the kitchen from a game of beer pong in process on the counter. And then in what would seem to be a living room if it weren't for all the crowded bodies was a makeshift dance floor. The huge speakers set up blasting music from someone's phone.

In the backyard there was a nice pool. WAS being the world. Now it was filled with random bikini tops and swim trunks just floating around in the water and lots of pool toys no one cares for anymore. Only actions of sexual intentions were going on inside that pool at this point. Drunken make-outs and other things we shall not mention by name...

On the border of the pool there was people just lounging around smoking or doing weed. The smell was so strong when you left this house you would reak of it even if you hand my gone anywhere near the joints. You could tell by the smokers eyes they were blazing high and probably couldn't walk straight.

******

I was in the kitchen watching the intense beer pong battle go on between two football jocks and two as us girls them "bad boys." My money was on the bad boys because well I had a very strong connection to one of them. One was my boyfriend... Callum Briggs, 23 years old, visible tattoos and some hidden out of sight, hot and sexy overall, big muscles, and a cheeky grin to go with his smart ass comments he always made.

It was getting down to the good part where at this point each side had about five cups left and they spaced out randomly making it harder to hit the small white ball into any of the cups. The jocks were in it to win it knowing their reputation was on the line against these guys they were playing. It was a lost cause though, see my boyfriend happens to be the best at this game.

After a couple more throws Callum and his buddy Evan had won against the jocks who were now having a problem even standing up straight with all the heavy alcohol they had consumed. They tried walking away but one buckled over and emptied the contents of his stomach onto the linoleum floor.

Great I thought. Just another damn mess for me to clean up tomorrow morning once all these people are gone. Yes it is true... This sad piece of shit called a house happens to be mine. Well, technically Callum's but I moved in with him after dating for a couple months and now I clean up after every single one of his godforsaken parties he throws endlessly.

Callum consumes so much alcohol the next morning he sleeps in till about three in the afternoon just to get up with a horrible attitude and boss me around and yell at me for not "cleaning" well enough. After cleaning up countless parties I have learned how to do it spotless. Better than any cleaning service and he still shit talks about how horrible I've done a job.

I've gotten so used to hungover Callum I bring him not only Tylenol for his pounding head but a sleeping tablet that knocks him out again so when he wakes up he's just drowsy and no longer hungover so he doesn't yell at me anymore. Instead he just wants to hold me close and cuddle with me. He turns into this cuddle monster or koala best that latches onto you and never wants to let go.

I think it's the after effects of the drowsiness because hours later he gets up and all ready to go he bar with his mates and get piss drunk all over again... But this time without having others run a muck through our house. Even though when he gets home he always manages to break a thing or two that I end up cleaning the pieces up to and having to buy and replace it with.

People ask me all the time why I am with Callum. They say he treats me like his bitch and walks all over me expecting me to clean up after all his dirty footprints he leaves behind. My answer is you haven't seen him at his caring moments. But the truth is his only real caring moment is his cuddling side effect drugged up moments. I can't leave though... I have no where to go.

See three years ago when I turned eighteen and had just graduated from high school my older brother Ed had been offered a chance of a lifetime to make an album and go touring around the world and become famous with his music. We were all thrilled and I was onto bigger and better things. I had earned a dance scholarship to Leaubove Dance Academy in Paris my dream place.

My parents were thrilled that both their babies had grown up to live their passions so far. my brother Eddie and I had made a pact before we set off to live our adventures that home would be our common place to see each other and we'd never miss an opportunity to return home and see each other.

I headed off off to school and Eddie went off into the world with his music gainging so many fans. From time to time people would stop me and ask me about him since I was his sister. I loved talking about my talented brother. We were so close that we were almost like two peas in a pod.

Then Thanksgiving came and he wasn't there when I came to visit to help Mum with all the preparations. She told me he sen a letter saying he couldn't make it around due to his packed schedule and that he wouldn't miss Christmas though because he couldn't wait to see my beautiful face and hear all about my amazing dances.

I returned back to school and was even more excited for Christmas to see my brother long overdue. I couldn't wait to tell him how much potential my teachers told me I had. And that I could be one day a real live performer and very famous. Just like him. I had also gotten accepted into this amazing scholarship program to travel around the world with a Dance Troop that performed on huge stages professionally.

Christmas Eve came and my mum told me he was delayed at the airport and would be coming in the morning. That night I couldn't sleep and I feared he would flake on us again and leave me saddened once again. The morning came and passed and he wasn't there. His manager called saying something came up that was urgent that caused him to not make it home for the holiday.

After that my heart broke. We were distancing and I was losing my brother. I cried for days and then the tears altogether stopped. I lost the heart to dance anymore because Eddie was my inspiration to try so hard in the first place. I dropped out of all the programs and said no to any offers leaving the school behind and traveling back to live with my mum and dad again.

A year and a half passed and I didn't do anything new. Instead I chane myself. I went out late at night in skimpy clothing to bars. Hung around with strangers and girls just like myself. Met Callum and he was sweet at first. He really was. The sweetest a man could be and then we started going out and he brought me around his mates.

His best mate Evan seemed nice and he had a girlfriend as well. Her name was Jenette but everyone called her Jeenie for some reason. She told me it was because she could grant anyone three wishes they desired and then cracked up at her horrible joke. Then she said it was just cause it fit with her hot personality.

We became good friends with each other I thought. We always went partying together and hung around with the boys just us two girls. She told me to change my appearance by getting me to wear loads of make up and change my outfit choices. She even got me to change my name. No longer was I sweet little Ruby Sheeran.. I was now Col. My middle name was Colette. Jeenie thought it was funny how both our parents thought somewhat the same with our names and she shortened my name to Col. Everyone began to call me that not knowing the reason just knowing it stuck.

When Callum asked me to move in it wasn't under normal circumstances. It was because my mum and I began to fight all the time leaving her in tears and me a little bit more cold hearted inside each time. He told me to leave that good for nothing behind and come with him. I had wanted to smack him for saying something about my mum the way he did but instead I had nodded not because I agreed but because I didn't want to hurt her anymore. So I walked away and out of her life to cause her less heart ache.

The night I was packing she had come into my room yelling and screaming for me to stop and not go. She had been calling my dads name telling him to talk some sense into their daughter and that she had finally hit her breaking point and was going to get herself only only trouble if she left. They both tried to convince me to stay but I couldn't be around then anymore and watch them died inside a little more everytime they saw a peace of me fade away.

As I was stuffing my crud inside Callum's car my mum stood in the doorway and watched me with tears spilling down her cheeks. She murmured,"sometimes the worst pain can break you but you won't have a clue till it's too late love." And she was right. I couldn't even tell if I was broken or not. I looked back at her one last time and knew I would start to cry if I didn't leave now. "The door will always be open to you Ruby dear." Instead of saying thank you or I love you I just said back with and attitude, "my name is Col." And shoved myself into the car slamming the door shut as we drove off.

I looked back in the rearview mirror and saw her drop into my dads arms as he held her up and soothed her as she became a heartbroken sob in his strong arms. He took her inside and close the big dorr behind them. And that is the last I have seen of them in almost a year... They send notes and letters trying to tell me to come for at least the holidays but I can't do it because it will only remind me of Eddie and him missing from my life and all I gave up.

So now I stay in this horrible nightmare I dragged myself into. In the middle of chaos every night and every day. It's a repeating cycle that will never end and I dread it. Will I ever wake up and be happy again? I have come to a conclusion after all this time I think as I walk over to Callum and drag him up the stairs lying his drink passed out body on the bed. Everyone has gone finally but I am still wide awake.

I have come come to a conclusion as I lie down and he grabs me tight in his constricting arms. I am not living I am simply walking through life an empty shell... And I think of my mum and her words all the time and now I know that yes I broken and I just want to be fixed. But by who? Who will drag me out of this hell?

Who will find me worth saving is what I wonder. And so I fall asleep into the perilous jaws of nothingness hoping to never wake up again and face this thing I call life. Goodnight for now until tomorrow when I wake and face this all over once more. Goodnight Ruby... Wherever you are.

Notes

Ok so here's the COMPLETE chapter. Haha sorry I didn't upload it all at one time. But her ya go! And wow Ruby ahem I mean Col had some pretty deep shit in her life doesn't she??? Well next chapter we walk into the mind of Imogen (their mum) for a little while and then Eddie as she calls him. Can't wait for the next chapter.

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