The Mysterious Guy

Three weeks have gone by on the summer break and I have done absolutely nothing. I have seen no one but my parents, well barely them (I’ve been trying to avoid them ever since that night.) Whenever I got too lonely I just turned on an episode of One Tree Hill and pretended that I was Peyton Sawyer or someone else except myself. It’s not like I haven’t tried to meet up with somebody they just either don’t want to see me or they are just really busy. So when Ash’s text popped up I got really excited. Finally I have something to do, finally I wasn’t so alone. I was still lonely but not alone.

Ashley: Wanna meet up today? I’ve got ice cream :)
Lillian: Yeah sure! I’ll come over as soon as I am ready!

I hurry to brush my dark hair and my teeth. I pick out an outfit that really fits me well. It is like the blue dress is made just for me and the bow in my hair too, it is like the dot over the ‘I’. It is nice feeling pretty, but then again after weeks of walking around in the same clothes and with a disgusting breath pretty much anything feels pretty. I hurry downstairs and notice that I actually feel excited to do something else than lie in my bed. Even if I make it seem like it is my choice to stay in and do nothing it really isn’t, I hate being alone. But I guess nobody really likes me enough to spend any more time with me than they already do.

“Hey mom, I am going to go over to Ash’s! See you at dinner", I scream and before she has any time to start with the questions I slam the door in her face and leave the apartment. Outside the sun is shining and the buildings seem to glow more than usual. New York might have bad air and a lot of traffic but it has it’s charm, I think as I smiling pass Fifth Avenue. Ashley lives in the fancy areas on the Upper East. I pass Central Park and turn right before I stand outside the big white apartment I have been to a few times. By the door two security guards are standing, it looks like they are frozen. If they hadn’t been breathing I would have thought that they were well made wax dolls.

“Hello I am here to see Ashley Rose, I am her friend Lillian”, I say but when he keeps starring I add: “Lillian Scott.” He opens the door but still in the same pose, of course, I give him a quick smile before I hurry upstairs. I don’t feel like taking the elevator today even though Ash lives on the top floor and when I finally make it I have to stand outside her door for about five minutes to catch my breath.

“Pull it together”, I say to myself as I knock three times on the door. Her maid (!) is always so slow on opening the door so I lean against the floor while I wait. But that might have to do with the fact that their apartment is so big that they could have their own zoo inside. After maybe four minutes the sweet maid opens the door and holds it up for me to go inside. In the beginning I always tried to talk to her but now I have learned that she doesn’t talk. Ash’s mother always says “she might not talk but she does one hell of a good job.” Instead of saying thank you I give her a smile. I look around in the big apartment and even though I have been here about ten times I still get totally blown away by it. I mean just the hall is as big as my living room, if not bigger.

“Lillian! It’s so great to see you”, I hear Ash’s mom shout and before I have gotten the chance to answer she embraces me with kisses and hugs and all I do is just stand there like a statue.

“Hello mrs Rose”, I say when she finally seems to be done. Mrs Rose is very beautiful for her age, she is like an older version of Ashley. Just a little smaller but still the same blond hair, the same blue eyes and the same beautiful smile. If the wrinkles would somehow disappear I would have thought they were twins.

“So how have your summer been?” She asks but before I have any time to answer I hear the familiar ringtone from her purse. Ash’s mom is so busy it’s almost absurd. I know Ashley is sad about it but when I ask her she either gets mad or changes the subject. I walk through the long hallway that is so white and clean that it shines, the walls are decorated with fancy art and on the roof big chandeliers is hanging, everything looks so expensive and beautiful I have to remind myself that I am not in some castle I am only in an apartment. One time I made the mistake to ask how much one of those paintings costs. I got the answer 20 000 dollars, I mean common! If one of those paintings are that expensive how much does this whole apartment cost? To be honest I really don’t want to know, it just makes me angry that some families have it like this and some barely can afford any food.

When I have walked through their kitchen which by the way is almost the size of my whole apartment I get to the stairs and soon I stand outside Ashley’s room. Ashley’s room is the only thing in this whole apartment that actually is pretty simple. Well, not that simple but if you compare it to the other rooms it is simple. It’s not that big, I am not saying it’s small, just not that big and she has one wall that has this beautiful flower wallpaper and the rest of them have a nice but simple light pink color. The first thing you see when you get inside is this huge bed with pillows for twenty people, it is the kind of bed you just want to lay in all day… and all night for that matter. The second thing you see is a huge poster of some guy I have never ever seen before but then again I am not very in to the whole famous people thing. I don’t get why people get all crazy I mean it’s just a human being like everyone else. Other then these two things it looks pretty normal she has a makeup table, a nice pink rug, a huge TV and a bookshelf filled with everything from action books to romantic novels. There is one thing about her room though. On the left wall if you look from the door there is another door. Now you sit there and are like okay what’s the thing about that? Well I am going to tell you that the thing about that is that, she has the biggest walk in closet in the entire history. If you walk in there you barely find your way out because of all the clothes. There is everything from funny costumes to comfy sweatpants to nice skirts to long dress to everything you can think of. I think she once told me that she has 2500 pair of shoes! Okay now I have to get it together I think as I open her door and run to give her a hug.

“What took you so long?” she asks when we both sit in front of each other on her pink rug with a glass of tea in our hands.

“Are you calling me slow?” I laugh as I take a zip from my cup. There is no way I am going to tell her about standing in front of her door for like five minutes just to don’t pass out if I see her walk in closet.

She smiles at me and takes my hand. I feel a nervous stick in my stomach because we never hold hands. I mean I am not a hug girl! I don’t like people touching me or maybe that’s just what I tell people I don’t know. Either way we never hold hands.

“You are starting to worry me, what have happened?” I ask but she just keeps smiling at me until she screams: “I have met somebody!” I hear the words but it is I don’t understand them. So for a few seconds I just sit there, starring at her.

“What?” I exclaim when my mouth almost works like normal again.

“I have…” She starts again but I interrupt before she has ended it. “No I heard I meant more like what!? Not what?” I say but when I see her confused eyes I sigh.

“Never mind but Ashley that is great, I am so happy for you”, I say and hug her but to be honest I am not happy, not at all. Anytime when I think of how alone I am, when I think of that I have never dated anyone, never kissed anyone, I think that Ash hasn’t either and that somehow makes me feel less lonely. I am on my way to start crying when Ash’s voice interrupts my thoughts.

“Earth to Lil!” she says and waves with her perfect hands in front of my face. Keep it together Lillian, I think as I meet her beautiful blue eyes that shines of happiness and suddenly I feel ashamed. What kind of friend is mad when her almost best friend tells her that she has met somebody?

“Sorry I am just a little shocked by the great news! You know what we should to do?” I ask as I get up from the rug.

“No?” I smile when I see the smile on her lips. You are going to find someone as well, I think when I drag her up from the rud as well.

“Celebrate!” I exclaim and we run down the stairs. When most people celebrate they get drunk but since either Ashley or I have never even tasted any alcohol, any less gotten drunk we always head down to this huge ice cream bar.

It feels like I am a bird that just got out from her cage after years when the guards, who by the way haven’t changed position yet, open the door. The air as gotten a little hotter since I left my apartment and as I walk down the street with Ash’s hand in mine I hope to get a nice sun kissed skin even though it’s kind of hopeless. My skin just as Ashley’s always stays pale, it doesn’t matter how much time we spend in the sun. On our way to the ice cream bar we don’t speak much which is a huge relief to me. I don’t want Ash to find out what a terrible friend I am and for me to keep the mask I have to try to clear my mind of all these thoughts. But how much I try one of the questions doesn’t seem to want to disappear, will I ever fall in love?

Notes