Liam at the gym

May contain triggers, is an eating disorder fic*

Louis doesn't like the gym much. He dislikes the whole idea of exercise actually but when his last boyfriend told him he was looking a bit..saggy he decided it was time to get fit. So onwards to the gym he went. He hated it if he was honest but there was one thing that kept him coming back. Liam, the stick thin boxing instructor who always seemed to be there and always seemed to be doing something. He was perfect in Louis eyes and every time they spoke Louis would leave the gym with butterflies in his stomach. But Louis couldn't help but notice something about Liam.

It could've been the incessant working out that proved it to him, or the way his ribs stuck out under the spandex of his sports top. It might've been the way Liam was always weighing himself and always seemed disappointed when he saw the number on the scales. It was probably the fact Liam never ate, ever and just drank water even when he was quite clearly starving. But somewhere down the line Louis figured out that Liam wasn't just the stick thin boxing instructor who he had a slight crush on, he was the stick thin boxing instructor who had some form of eating disorder. Yet despite knowing this Louis never mentioned it to Liam, never said your thin enough, fit enough, perfect enough because he assumed that Liam already had someone to tell him that and he assumed that Liam was getting better. Or rather he hoped he was. The reality of the situation only sunk in when he spotted Liam walking home in the rain, still dressed in the same spandex top and boxing shorts, still running, still counting his steps but there was something different about liam that shook Louis up. He was crying, big sobs that wracked at his chest and made him have to slow his pace, he had a phone in his hand but clearly had no one to text. That was when Louis realized that Liam from the gym probably had no one else to go home to.

So Louis started going to the gym more often and speaking to Liam more. He tried hard to show Liam he was there for him without saying anything, without freaking him out and it seemed to be working. Or at least or a while it did, he spoke to Liam a lot and they were beginning to grow close but then Liam stopped talking completely. His visits to the gym became less and less frequent and Louis couldn't help but notice he was wasting away. His skinny frame was worryingly bony, his face strangely hollow and Louis was beginning to really worry but still he said nothing. Until one day he accidently walked in on Liam in of the showers. It wasn't his fault really, the lock was broken and he walked in with out knocking but he definitely regretted doing so because it just made everything worse.

I mean dont get me wrong, Louis thought Liam was gorgeous and he was pretty well bestowed in the bedroom department but he was so thin, so unbelievably, unnaturally thin and it was petrifying. His ribs showed through his pale skin, his spine stuck out, his hip bones looked like mountains protruding from his skin. Louis didn't exactly stand there and stare, the second he processed someone was in the shower he left but not before the image of frail, weak Liam was painted in his mind. Liam avoided him after that incident but Louis couldn't get him out of his mind. He just wanted to help Liam but it never occurred to him that Liam was probably way beyond help.

Then one morning Louis got up to go to the gym, he picked up a paper on the way there and read it was he sipped some ice water in the gym cafe before his workout. For some bizarre reason his eyes trailed to the obituaries and his heart practically cracked because there in bold black text was Liam's name, his pulse raced as he read the article a sick feeling settling in his stomach.

R.I.P Liam James Payne

Liam james payne was found dead inside his flat in the early hours of this morning as his next door neighbour went to check on him. Liam had been in the middle of a severe coughing fit that didn't seem to lesson and worried 24 year old Zayn Malik. His coughing stopped abruptly when Zayn unlocked the front door using the spare key found under the door mat which Zayn later says he found "suspicious." and "worrying.". The 20 year old was found slumped over his kitchen table, blood spattering the wood in front of him. It seems Liam died of severe malnutrition which brought upon a failure of his lungs. The funeral will be held at 2 o'clock tomorrow and is open to the public as no family members have been uncovered.

Louis felt ill, his breathing was laboured as he dropped the paper down and ran to the gym looking around wildly for a sign that Liam was there. He saw nothing. The boxing gloves he was so used to seeing on Liams fists were hanging on the hook and none of the other staff were going anywhere near them. He ran towards one of the workers tapping them urgently on the shoulder.

'Wheres Liam?' He asked desperately his eyes wide and his heart beating hard in his chest. The girls face softened.

'Did you not read the paper?' She said gently. 'Liams dead.' Louis felt as if his whole world was collapsing around him and he fell to the floor shocked. He felt tears falling down his cheeks and he could hear people yelling at him but he didn't move, didn't say anything as he sobbed. Liam was gone and he couldn't help him anymore. He briefly remembers being placed in a car, an irish accent asking his address and driving him home. He remembers being asked for his house keys and laid down in his bed but that's about it. The whole night was a blur for him and he wasn't sure at what point he fell asleep.

The next day Louis was awoken by a gentle shove to the shoulder and his eyes met with blue, sympathetic ones which for a moment he thought were Liams. Then he remembered Liam had brown eyes and that his eyes probably wouldn't be opening anytime soon. The blue eyes stranger introduced himself as Niall, one of Liams colleagues at the gym, Liams gym. It was him who helped Louis shower, dress and make himself presentable. It was him who held Louis hand as they walked into the church at two that afternoon. Louis wasn''t sure why but the blondes warmth beside him was probably all that allowed him to go up to the casket, Liams casket. His tears fell thick and fast as he placed a lilly on Liams concave chest, his words were muddled as he spoke but they were audible.

'I love you.' He whispered even though it was too late for Liam to hear them. 'God Liam i love you.' And then the casket was closed and he was dragged into the churchyard to see it being lowered into the ground. He was vaguely aware of someone singing in the background and he thought that by the irish accent it was Niall but he wasn't sure.

'Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend, Somewhere along in the bitterness, And I would have stayed up with you all night, Had I known how to save a life'

Louis cried more than he ever had before when he realized what the voice was singing and he hoped for all he was worth that Liam was at least happy up in heaven. And he hoped that maybe someday they would find each other.