Starting Over

Samy’s POV
Tonight’s my first date with Harry. It’s been about 2 months since we told Liam about our potential feelings towards each other and since then we’ve been laying low and giving everyone time to adjust to the idea before going on an actual date in public. I know that the tabloids are going to have a field day with this. I’ll be labeled a band hopping slut and no one will bother to question my intentions but rather label them as disingenuous but rather immediately conclude that I’m a gold-digger. I’m prepared for it, I think. I know what’s coming. The fans are going to attack me as well but honestly, I don’t care.
I finish my prep as there’s a knock on my bedroom door. Harry. I open the door slowly and my eyes befall the handsome man before me. He’s dressed in his nice jeans and a black button up shirt with hearts on it. I love his clothes. He’s not afraid to wear things that people will question. He’s not afraid to be him.
“You look gorgeous. You ready to go?” Harry speaks after eying my up and down.
“Ready as I’ll ever be” I reply as I grab my purse and head towards the hallway to the front door.
We get in the car and head towards our secret destination. Harry refuses to tell me where we’re going. It’s very frustrating as we all know that I’m not good with surprises. A few minutes later we pull up to a secluded lot with no other cars. It looks like a scene out of “Walking Dead”. I’m a bit nervous about it to be honest but I trust that Harry will keep me safe if need be. A few honks of the horn is all it takes for an image to appear on the wall in front of us. Sixteen Candles is playing on the makeshift screen and I can’t help but smile from ear to ear. I absolutely LOVE this movie. Harry has created our own drive-in theatre.
“No chance of being spotted and mobbed but it beats sitting at home on the couch” he says calmly.
“It’s perfect” I say quietly. “Thank you so much.”
“Here” he says reaching into the center console of the car and pulling out popcorn. How did I not smell that? He also pulls out a can of Redbull and a box of Bunch-a-crunch. He remembered!
“Wow” I say “you really did think of everything, didn’t you?” I say with a giggle. We settle in and watch the movie from car, eventually leaving the safety of the locked doors to lay on the hood with Harry’s arm wrapped around me. I can’t say that I’m not enjoying it, because I truly am, but I’d also be lying if I said that it felt right. It feels like two best friends watching a movie. Friends. Not two people capable of developing into a lasting romantic relationship. I sneak a glance at Harry who seems completely focused on the movie.
“The movie’s playing up there” he jokingly points to the wall in front of us as he states this fact. Busted.
“I know, I’ve just been thinking” I say quietly.
“About how great it feels to be out with your best friend?” he says in response. At that moment I knew, he feels it too. We will always be just friends. Amazing friends, but the romantic spark between us is nonexistent. “Don’t worry, I feel it too” he says as if reading my mind.
“You’re not mad?” I say cautiously.
“I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t a little disappointed by it, but no, not mad. We started off as best friends and roommates and that’s what we remain” he says with a wink and a hug. I’m glad.
Harry’s POV
Samy and I got home from our date a few hours ago and shortly after taking her home I headed over to Liam’s house to hang out with the lads. Of course, Louis had to bring up the fact that Samy and I had our first date tonight and despite his claims of acceptance over the situation, I saw Liam flinch and cringe slightly when the word “date” was mentioned. I wonder if I should just close the topic and move on or if I should inform them that we are just planning on remaining friends. I decide on the latter.
“We had a great time. As friends” I says bluntly.
“Just friends?” Louis pushes. Why can’t he just accept the words coming out of my mouth and leave it alone?
“Yeh, we realized that we are perfect as friends and that the romance just isn’t there. No harm, not foul” I say calmly, receiving a snort and grunt from Liam. “Samy was never meant to be mine, I guess” I say clearly, making sure that Liam hears me loud and clear. Judging by his sudden relaxed shoulders, I’d say message received.
“Sorry it didn’t work out for you guys, Haz” he says. I know he’s trying as insincere as his sympathy sounded.
“It’s ok. We’re still friends and roommates” I say back.
Liam’s POV
So, Samy and Harry are not going to be a couple. They are going to be friends and nothing more. Deep inside I hope that that allows me a chance to edge my way back into her life slowly. My hand mindlessly drifts to the cell phone in my pocket and without a true sense of realization, a text message is being composed and sent to Samy.
Samy’s POV
I’m lying in bed half asleep with a book in my hands when I notice a bright light coming from next to my head. I realize a moment later that it’s my phone. I pick it up and unlock the screen to see something I’ve been dreading but longing for at the same time. A text from Liam. Communication from a man I thought would never speak to me again.
Liam: Hey, can we talk? I’m with the boys now and I think Harry’s going to crash here for the night. Can I come over?
I stare at the screen in disbelief. Liam wants to come over to talk. Our previous conversations have resulted in nothing more than broken hearts.
Samy: Do you really think that’s a good idea?
Liam: I have some things that I need to say and in person is the best way to do it. Are you afraid to be alone with me?
Samy: Yes
Liam: I’d never hurt you.
I believe him. I know his words are genuine but that doesn’t stop my nerves from making their way into my life.
Samy: Ok. Come on over.
No sooner had the text been sent than there was a knock on my front door. Liam. He knew that I’d eventually say yes. He’d planned on it. He had been sitting outside the whole time. Typical Liam.
“Hey” I say opening the door.
“Hi” he says cautiously. I step aside and let him enter the house. He makes his way over to the dining table and takes a seat.
“You want tea?” I said as I get the kettle, tea bags, and two cups out. I already know the answer. Of course he wants tea.
“Do you have to ask?” he teases in return. Smart ass. The kettle sounds and I head to the table with our cups in my hand. “Thanks” he says taking a sip of the piping hot liquid. A deep sigh making their way from his lips indicates he’s ready to start our talk.
“What’s wrong, Liam” I question.
“I heard about you and Harry. Is it true? You guys are just going to remain friends? Nothing more?” he asks quietly, almost as if he’s afraid of either the answer or of upsetting me.
“Yes. I know you didn’t just come over here to ask me that though. What’s really going on?” I looked up from my tea for the first time since I sat down to a pair of amazingly brown eyes staring into my own. I must admit, it was comforting to be looking into eyes so familiar. A deep sigh from Liam was heard in contrast to the utter silence the rest of the house had.
“I want to have an honest discussion about us. Even if it takes all night, I want to talk about this. Figure out what we are and what we want. Even if we walk away as friends, it’s better than sitting here being distant with each other” he stated.
“Ok” is all I could reply with. Was I ready for such an in-depth conversation? No, not at all but I knew that it was necessary and long overdue.
“What happened to us?” he asked bluntly. Way to ease into the conversation, Liam.
“We were moving at different speeds. You wanted a commitment that I wasn’t ready to give you. I panicked. I felt myself changing. I felt myself honestly considering being your wife and the mother to your kids and it started to be all that I wanted. I felt my goals slipping to the back of my mind. I’m sorry. I should have talked to you instead of running off and hiding like a coward. It was wrong of me and I can’t even imagine how you must have felt” I finished my explanatory rant with tears running down my face. I was sorry. It was only seconds before strong arms wrapped around me, holding me close, letting me know that he understood. The safety and comfort that I felt at that moment was something I’ll never be able to put into words.
“I’m sorry that I pressured you. I can’t even imagine how scary it must have been for you to have just left a marriage last year and be faced with the possibility of going through it again with me. I just couldn’t stand the idea of losing you. You were everything to me. There’s nothing that I wouldn’t have done to be with you and keep you safe. It honestly broke my heart when you left, I can’t deny that. I’ve been trying to move on since it happened. I just can’t help but compare every girl that I talk to or date with you. I know it’s not right but I can’t help it. You were my other half” he says through tears of his own. His heart was broken just like mine was.
“What now, Liam? Where do we go from here?” I ask the question on both our minds.
“I’m not sure” he says in defeat.
“Maybe we should return to being friends and see how things go one day and a time?” I answer truthfully.
“I don’t think that I can be just friends with you. Honestly Samy, I need you to be mine. To be with me and only me; to love me; to listen to me” he deadpans.
“I don’t think that I can be friends with you either” I say, finally being completely honest about the situation and my feelings. A small grin plays on his face at my words but they are quickly replaced with a heavy sadness. “I think we should try again. Take it very slowly, but try again” I say quietly. I look up cautiously to see Liam staring at my intently with huge eyes.
“I want to be with you too. I promise that I’ll go as slow as you want” he says. “Can I kiss you?” he sounds like a child, his voice small and reserved. I didn’t answer him with words. I leaned in quickly and smashed my mouth to his. Electricity shooting through every millimeter of my being. I was back with Liam. It felt amazing. There’s nothing else that I needed. I had Liam and there’s nothing that was going to separate us again.

Notes