Jillian's POV

"Liam, it's not what it looks like!" I ran after him. My head was pounding and I had no pants, but I didn't care. "Liam, please." I grabbed his arm and he looked me in the eyes, his eyes full of hurt and tears dying to get out. "I don't know how he got here, you have to believe me." He let out a small chuckle and shook his head removing his eyes from the gaze of mine.

"Is this what you do to guys? You lead them on, you tell them all these lies so they can feel sorry for you? So you can feel like people care about you? It's no wonder you don't have any friends." He growled out. I couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"You're not who I thought you were." I let go of his arm and fought back tears. "Don't fucking talk to me." I walked into my now Mark-less apartment and slammed my door. I refused to cry, I refused to be effected by yet another person. I grabbed some pants and slipped them on before heading out the door with my keys in my hand. I knew where I was going and I knew it wasn't a good place.

_______

Drink after drink I drank my emotions away, all the pain I ever felt, all the rejection I ever got, it was gone. But I knew in the back of my head that this only lasted a couple of hours, that in the morning the pain will be back but in all truthfulness. "Ma'am you should slow down." I shook my head at the bartender.

"No one asked for your fucking opinion, just get me another drink." He rolled his eyes and slammed the vodka in front of me. "If you've got a hangover just keep drinking, it'll go away." I mumbled to myself.

"Miss Jillian Summers, what on earth do you think you're doing?" I heard the familiar sassy voice of Louis Tomlinson. I shushed him away and took a sip of my drink and started thinking of the big brown eyed guy called Liam. "Jillian, how hammered are you?" He took my drink away.

"Hey! Give that back!" I got all up on his face.

"You fucking reek Jillian." He pinched his nose with his index finder and his thumb.

"How the hell did you fucking find me?" I growled out sitting back in the stool.

"A crying Liam came to my flat and started talking about how you were playing him this whole time.." He crossed his arms. I rolled my eyes.

"That ass doesn't know truth even if it hit him in the face." I laughed and snatched my drink back chugging it. I felt and arm yank me on my feet.

"Look here Jillian, I don't know what kind of fucked up life you had but we're not the kind of people to feel sorry for you. You treat one of us like shit, we'll treat you the same, you have got to earn respect to get respect." He growled out. I was fuming, I wanted to run, I wanted to cry. I threw my drink in his face.

"You have NO fucking idea how my fucking life has been!" I yelled and slapped his left cheek as hard as I could. I grabbed my purse and walked out of the bar leaving a confused Louis behind. I got in my car knowing I shouldn't be driving but I didn't care, I was sick of this, I was sick of feeling unwanted. I turned the key en-lighting the engine and stepping on the gas and speeding. I didn't want to go home, I wanted to run away. I wanted to be normal, I wanted people to like me, I wanted friend, I wanted Liam.

_______

I sat on the edge of the bridge. Just thinking, about life, about my mom, about my dad. I cried, for the first time in years, I cried my eyes out. Cried because the only person who cared about me was dead, my mom was dead. I missed her, I missed her laugh, I missed her presence. "Mom, I miss you." I sobbed out. "Why did you leave me!" I yelled out making my voice crack. "Why couldn't you just have saved everyone the trouble and taken me with you?" I cried harder. I was never suicidal, until today. "No one cares about me mom, no one will even miss me, I don't have friends. I don't have family. I don't have anyone." I continued to sob for another thirty minutes. I waited, waited for someone to stop me from trying to jump, waited for someone to notice me but no one did. No one cared. I stood up and looked down. I was never good with heights. "I'm coming mom." I stuck out my right leg and leaned forward. I didn't get far before I felt strong arms around my waist and pull me down onto the cold concrete.

"What are you thinking!" I heard a male's voice. I sobbed, sobbed into this person's chest. I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted to die. I felt his arms tighten around me and I peeked up. My tears made my vision blurry. I blinked some tears away trying to view this guy's face. I blinked once more and saw those big brown eyes. Liam.

Notes

sorry for the wait :(
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