A cool feeling of a needle being injected in my body, made me fall asleep in a split of a second. My senses cooled down, the light in the room became dimmed, and with every next blink I was weaker and more sleepy.
Although I wanted to say something, I wasn't able, they were just standing there, next to my bed, peering at me, only smiling brightly. The thought that I might not have woken up in the real world was terrifying me to death, it would destroy me utterly, and I couldn't tell the difference.
The last, slow blink, sent me into the darkness, and I blacked out..

---

The heartbeat measuring machine was heard in the background, as I was still slightly unconscious. All I could hear and feel was that someone's hands were gripped around my temple, along with some kind of singing. I was yearning to see who the person lying next to me was, but it took me some time to pull myself together before I finally woke up.

"So you can keep me inside a pocket of your ripped jeans, holding me closer 'till our eyes meet, and you won't ever be alone, I wait for you to come home...we keep this love in a photograph.."

The singing was a bit clearer, I though I smiled lightly when I heard the lyrics. But how damned I was, it'd been a struggle for me to manage to wake up from the anesthesia, as much I wanted to open my eyes it was keeping it heavy and hard to do it.
For some time I remained still, and tried not to fight against it, so I could wake up normally step by step, and not by force.

My lids weren't as hard as they had previously been, and I opened them slightly, allowing my eyes to observe the environment. A spark of a joy lit inside me as I realized it was the same room I'd woken up in the first place. Someone's gaze was diverted towards me, and even though I felt it all the time since I'd opened my eyes, I didn't want to look, at least not yet. I closed my eyes again, and I elbowed myself in a higher position in a hospital bed. That person who was sitting on my bed, removed carefully his hands that were around me, and shifted himself a bit away from me.
I had a feeling who it could be, I had that feeling all the time, but I just wanted to wait, so I could utterly enjoy the moment. My head gently fell on the person's chest, and the scent I sensed right then reassured my doubts.
-Hey, you fine?
I sighed on his words, as his hand stroked my hair, slowly from the top to the end of my neck. It kind of calmed me down, and I wished I hadn't had to answer, since I was tired and somehow confused. He left a sweet kiss on my forehead, and I took a chance to look him in the eyes, for the first time after a while.
-Yes. I guess.
I mouthed lowly, my voice barely understandable.
He made a sad face, pulling me into a hug.
-I missed you!
He muttered.
But what I was to do, I wasn't even sure if it was the real life, what I should respond.
-I love you Harry!
As I uttered I hugged him tightly, not being able to hide my emotions.
-I love you too, a bit too much, that it ain't even bearable.
Harry stated genuinely, but his words seemed very familiar to me.
What if this had happened, or this was just a dream and I was still in a coma.
I became nervous immediately, I started turning around, my expression looked frightened as hell, as if some kind of demon possessed me.
Harry got scared that something might happen to me, I realized that when he tried to call a nurse or whatever, but I jumped on him, and his phone fell out of his hands. What a misfortune, poor Harry, he was going to doubt me from now on.
-Harry, no, don't call anyone, I want to be with you, please!!! Can't you see I'm sick??? Don't you want to talk to me and hear what the problem is??? Huh???
I screamed, yelled and sobbed all through the tears, whilst I was holding him by his jacket, lying on him over the bed. His eyes filled with water, and I felt a pain so great that I thought I would die. He gulped heavily, sniffed a few times, and then he placed his palms on my both cheeks.
-If I knew that would disturb you, I'd never take out my phone. I want you now to talk to me, and tell me everything you want, and we'll see if we can sort things out. Okay?
Harry calmly spoke the words out, intensively glaring into my eyes, while all the time his thumbs tenderly caressed my pale cheeks.
I nodded noticeably, and before I moved away from him I kissed his hand.
We sat again on the bed, first Harry than I before him, so I could snuggle up to him.
-So, tell me now, what is troubling you?
Harry uttered, smiling pleasantly, but his eyes were showing how much in pain he was. However, I forced a small smile of mine back, and with a deep sigh I started speaking.
-Harry, you don't need a girlfriend like me. And I really mean it. Everything can distract me from you, I can't deny it, everything is distracting me from you. I can't fight it Harry, I can't even say whether is this a real life or not. I'm fucked up as fuck!!
I stopped, my gaze was lost, my vision blurred and hazy for a moment. I didn't dare to look him in the eyes, I was insane, I needed a metal medical care, out of honesty, and I didn't want him to see it in my eyes, he would certainly freak out then.
-Nonsense, you're speaking nonsense and you make me angry right now.
Although he said I made him angry he didn't sound like that, he couldn't be mad at me now.
-What if I am still in a coma? What if I never woke up?
I exclaimed, dryly.
Harry rolled his eyes and took me by my hands.
-You woke up, this is the real life, you are alive and not in a coma anymore. You woke up today, this morning, when all of us were around you, but a nurse had to give you an injection in case that you got scared and I don't understand what else. Today is my birthday, and I want to stay with you a whole day, and this is the best birthday present I could ever get, and wish for. So please don't say that, it hurts a lot.
Harry blurted out, and I could tell he was sincere, all the words were spoken out of his heart, and I knew that, but I had already made a decision.
"Sorry Harry" I mouthed out of sound, not even looking at him, so he surely couldn't see what I had just done.
-We're going on tour again at the end of February, I hope you'll get well so you come with us, just like the last time. You remember how it was great, this time I promise it will be better. I don't want to go without you. You'll come with me, right?
Harry giggled so slightly that it was barely a giggle, then he leaned towards me and placed a soft tender kiss on my cheek. But I acted so cold, so heartless, I had to, it was my decision and it was for the good of all of us. I stood up from the bed, and paced towards a window. The feelings should not affect my mind this time, I had to stay strong and utter the words already. I was on the edge of tearing apart, so I took a few deep breaths in and out to ease the condition.
-I ummm.. I can.. not. I've decided Harry, I'll go back home and try to recover from everything, I can't do this anymore..
Fail, I started crying again, I was crying so hard, that I couldn't breathe anymore, my chest hurt, and everything inside me was broken that I didn't know how I stayed alive after all. Harry rose himself from the bed, as I could hear, and I knew he would come to hug and kiss me and tell me some nice things that I'd like to hear, but no, I couldn't let this happen, I had to stop him.
-Don't approach me!
I shouted not so loud, but enough for him to realize it was a shout. My tears were rolling down without a pause, there wasn't anything I could compare how I felt in that moment, it was a complete disaster. I had just "woken up" from a coma and I had already lost the most precious thing in my life, of course, thanks to me.
-Well.. I'm not sure whether I'm gonna survive if you say a thing more, so.. I'll just leave for now, until you settle your mind straight.
He sniffed a few times, his voice shaking, but I didn't want to face him, I was looking out from the window. All I heard was a few paces around the room, he may have taken his phone, before he left, and closed the door behind him.
I ran towards the bed, and buried my head in a pillow screaming my heart out. This was not happening, I had no life, I couldn't have a life without Harry.
No Harry no life, that was my motto. It was amazing how much I cried, I thought I would literally die on the spot. And I should've, I deserved to die.
But the worst thing that happened to me was when the sadness turned into a madness. I broke all the chairs and glass in the room, my bed wasn't a bed anymore, it was destroyed, it looked as if a bomb exploded in there, but it kind of release my anger at least partly if not completely.
I didn't know what I was to do with myself, I wasn't ready to see my family, and about Zayn and the crew I wouldn't even think about, it would drive me to the maximum and I'd finish in a madhouse. I needed to decide it with myself, this decision was stupid, unsought, stupid, stupid.
If I wanted to end it with Harry I should've never hurt him like that in the first place, but however it was over and I literally wanted to die.
After all the craziness, all I felt was emptiness.
I was standing in the middle of the room, my hands a bit wounded as I had broken a lot of glass, and then with its pieces I cut the sheets, so now my hands were bleeding, but it wasn't anything serious. But one thing that baffled me was how no one came to see me and check if I was okay, they must have heard the noise and all the banging.
-Have you finished?
The doors slam-opened making a very loud sound, on which I pretty much yanked. I blinked a very few times staring at him, not uttering a word as he left me speechless. His eyes and the area around them were red, probably from crying, but he was now furious as hell.
-Harry, please, don't make it even harder.
I spoke through a whisper, my breathing started shaking a bit. Harry entered the room and this time he locked the door. The party could begin.
-You can't leave me! Do I really not mean anything to you???
Harry started approaching, with his hands on his chest, his eyes glimmering but not from the happiness this time. Now he had me cornered, I couldn't escape so I had to deal with the stress over again. Wasn't I supposed to rest since I had just been in a coma for a great amount of time and now I was having these traumatic conversations? Maybe if Harry hadn't been there when I woke up, perhaps I would not have said a lot of things.
-You are all I live for but I've got this destructive distraction syndrome, and all I keep doing is loving you, but not being with you, I can't even explain it to you. We indeed need a break, Harry, it's the worst thing I've ever said and done, believe me but we have to..
I declared, as I crashed down on my knees, my hands surely leaving bloody marks on my plain face as I uncontrollably swept my tears away. I wanted to be alone, his presence was only making me feel worse.
-C'mon don't cry anymore.. Please.
Harry kneeled next to me, pretending as if he was fine, but he was doing that only so I would feel better and less upset, but I didn't.
-Can we go home and then talk about everything, I want to rest, I feel so confused. At the same time I don't want to lose you, but I have to let you go. I love you Harry, I love you so much, you need to know that, but sometimes it's not meant to be, sometimes people who love..
For God's sake, I felt so weak and so exhausted that I barely spoke and I was about to fall asleep any second.
-I won't change my mind Harry, I won't. Please just take me home and leave me there so I can sleep in peace..
I breathed out faintly, my eyelids half-opened, I wanted just a little rest, just some nice sleep.
-Okay, sweetheart, I'm taking you home then.

Notes

It's Louis' birthday!!! ♥ I wish him all the best, and all the happiness of the universe. I love him so much!
Here you go guys, sorry for the wait. :(
And I'm thinking about finishing this story, but you give me credits if I should, please it would mean a lot. ♥ Please, just let me know whether you'd like me to finish it or to keep it going. ♥
Marry Christmas to you all, have a lovely day, and enjoy your holidays.
See you next year, probably. ♥ Happy New Year!! ♥ I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!!
If you guys like it, please rate, vote, subscribe and comment. Also, you can ask me whatever you want. I love you. x