Zayn fell asleep on a bed, looking like an angel, his breathing was peaceful and calm, his features looked relaxed, still breathtaking. I was standing by the bed, observing him, and thinking.
The day he called me, which was two days ago, I couldn't resist not to accept to see him. So we arranged our meeting in a hotel which was in a small city near London, since we didn't want to get caught.
What was silly, was that he'd suggested meeting straight away, that exact day. Although I eagerly wanted to see him, I needed at least a day or two to rest, so here we were now two days later, in this hotel room.
My head was so messed up, I wasn't able to think straight, as if I had been able before, but however now was worse.
I wrapped the bathrobe tighter around me, for I had taken a bath just minutes ago, and I settled myself in a corner of the bed.
I couldn't believe how far I'd come, Zayn distracted me from my life so badly, and I only realised that when I wasn't with him.
How come I loved Zayn, how come?
My hands cupped my face, rubbing it sensitively, head had already started hurting.
Perhaps, I should just distant myself from both of Harry and Zayn, and see; decide what to do. But again, I'd been in the coma for so long, and I missed Harry a lot.
Why this was happening to me, why I couldn't stay just with Harry and be happy as I'd been in a first place.
But still, do you know the feeling when you need something, when you know that something's missing?
Well, that was Zayn, he was missing in my life.
I was so cursed, there wasn't any other word that could describe me better.
The thought of Harry then came again, this guilt I felt, was unbearable, destructive, my head would kill me one day for certain.
Today was his birthday, and if I didn't go I'd miss a very important part of our lives. It was 10 a.m. and I had enough time to go and celebrate the birthday with him. There weren't any space for doubts and mind changes, my presence was obliged.
-Zayn? Hey, wake up!
Through a low whisper I mumbled and shook Zayn slightly by his shoulder, intending to wake him up.
He murmured something unclearly, intensively rubbing his eyes, raising himself on his elbows just a bit.
-Hey, I missed you!
His hoarse voice filled the room, as if the sun lightened it. It wasn't possible to stay stable next to the person like him, he got me under the spell and I knew it well.
-I have to go Zaynie.
My hand reached his, and I gripped it gently, while gazing into his eyes.
Zayn frowned for a second, and then he pulled me closer. Now I was lying next to him in the bed, barely managing to hold my bathrobe together.
He "jumped" on me, holding my arms next to my head so I couldn't hold my bathrobe anymore. He was grinning devilishly, while kissing me everywhere where my skin was exposed. Goosebumps spreading all over my body, his soft lips pressed to my neck, and with every kiss he was going lower and lower.
-Zayn, I have to go!
I uttered, trying to remove him off myself. He stopped what he was doing and gave me a cold gaze. Even though my heart ached a bit, I didn't regret, I needed to get tougher, and get back my real self. A big lump had stuck in my throat, but I managed to get a grip, and stay still.
-Where?
The coldness in his voice surrounded my half-naked body. Chills were real, I didn't want him like that, he wasn't supposed to act like he was.
-To surprise Harry, it's his birthday!
I said while standing up from the bed, but Zayn remained in the same position, staring at me in confusion.
The sound of a message interrupted the awkwardness, and I checked my phone.

* Can't you believe a brand new girl on an early morning date, and it's even his birthday! Harry Styles has replaced his old girlfriend that's peacefully sleeping for months, but who can blame him. Stay tuned and follow our one direction update account. *

Almost 100% percent I was sure that Zayn was still peering at me, so I tried my hardest not to shed a tear, even though I wanted to scream my ass out. I gulped heavily, blinking a few times rapidly, so the water could even in my eyes. .
The clothes I had left the last night were on the chair so I just started dressing in front of Zayn, praying inside that he wouldn't ask anything, since I wasn't able to speak at all. I couldn't be sure if I was to believe to an update account, but the picture I saw along with the post reassured me well.

At last, I was ready to go, but where? Where to go like this?
It was hard for me, it wasn't the first, second, or third time that my heart had been broken.
Creaking behind me was heard, and with the corner of my eyes I say Zayn getting up and walking towards me, all topless.
I sighed out loud, keeping the pain inside me, but Zayn was closer with every step, so I had to prepare myself for double reaction.
His hand rested on my hip, and I sensed his breath on my neck, as he pulled me backwards to his body.
-Don't go, it's not the same without you. Just a couple of hours, for you and me.
Zayn declared in a whisper, kissing me on the neck right after.
-Do you have anything?
I turned my head just a bit, so I could look him in the eyes.
The smirk lightened up his face, he exactly knew what I meant, but instead to answer, he pressed his lips to mine, leaving a sweet tender peck. My hand rose up, and I dragged him closer with my hand around his neck. I kissed him as passionately as I knew, giving all of me it that one kiss, as the tears started slowly leaking down my cheeks.

Maybe it was possible to love two men at once. And not just to say you love, but to really, truly love them or whatever love did mean. I had never felt such love as I felt towards two of them. You couldn't tell this wasn't love, well what the hell was it then? If someone told me you couldn't have two real loves in the same time, I'd be offended. Then I'd demand to know the answer why, why was it impossible? Perhaps, you should feel that on your own skin first, if it had never happened to you, how would you have been able to know.

I bet you could tell these were all my thoughts while I was kissing Zayn, but I'd have to confess, yes.
Zayn was a fucking perfect kisser, and I'd die whenever we were kissing, despite the stream of thoughts I would have. I had to overthink everything at least twice, whenever I had an opportunity, so I'd hope you'd understand me.
But in that moment, Zayn's hand caressed my cheek, and he instantly broke the kiss.
-What happened?
He demanded terrifyingly, stroking my damp face.
I didn't want to answer, so I tried to kiss him again, on what he rejected me, and tightly gripped on my chin with his hand, while he was looking worryingly at my, I could've told even if I couldn't have seen, pale and lifeless expression.
-Why tears?
He whispered.
-Just..just kiss me and don't ever leave me, because if you do, I'm not sure what I'm gonna do.
The tears were real, I couldn't stop myself from tearing apart in front of Zayn's eyes, but he seemed to care, and he hugged me gently stroking my back.
Then I felt something very similar to an electric shock, as electricity shook my body to the limit, and when I opened my eyes again, nothing was the same.

All five of them, plus my family around me, while I was lying in a hospital bed, probably.
My hand rushed towards my face and I sensed it was wet, obviously from crying.
What the hell was going on? I could've sworn I was glaring at them like some kind of freak, but I was so baffled and astonished, from everything, but mostly on the fact that I couldn't tell or recognize the real life.
I was going insane, but this time it was serious.

Notes

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