[WARNING: Adult content below. Read at your own discretion.]

When I turned around I stumbled upon Pat. My lower lip was quivering out of control. He pulled my head into his neck and made me start walking away. I could feel the hot tears streaming down my face and soaking him. He told me that some fans had gathered at the hotel entrance just a moment after we ran off, and pushed my numb body inside a coffee shop for us to wait on the van, already on its way. Everybody should have been worrying about us, but I could only wonder on what was going on at the art gallery between Louis and Jeanne. I was startled. I didn’t understand a thing of what just happened. Why did she hold him?

I had zoned out but at some point I was in a van with Pat and other minders, pulling in the car park of the hotel. We walked up to the lift and made it to our floor. Pat took me to my room. Thanks to God, nobody was inside waiting for explanations. I threw myself in the bed and held my big pillow tightly. Why did I leave Jeanne standing at the art gallery in the first place, when all I had been wanting for the last two weeks was to be with her? She made me act like a fool all the time. It was her fault telling me those things… Just friends. The words were making my ears burn.

How could Louis have done that to me? What was he trying to prove? That he was better for Jeanne than me? That he got her in a way I was incapable of? Nonetheless there was an uncomfortable truth about what I just witnessed that I couldn’t deny. Jeanne had always appeared so collected and relaxed, but suddenly arrived Louis and everything I ever believed about her just blew away. What the hell did he tell her to make her react this way? I knew they weren’t concerted. The issue was far more troubling: They were connected, and I was barely able to face the fact. She always had a soft spot for him, as she admitted to ILoveTommoBear. I remembered that part well. And him… Well, he did get her, probably more than I ever did.

I was deep in thoughts when I heard a knock on the door. Totally paranoid I jumped off from bed, but didn’t approach it. I wasn’t in a position to talk to anybody, but the person outside my room insisted. Could it be Louis? I wasn’t ready to face him.

“Harry, It’s Zayn. Open the door.” Fuck. That meant he probably was still with Jeanne. My mind grunted.

“Not now,” I grumbled.

“Niall wants to talk to you–––Zayn explained in a sympathetic tone. Though he’s afraid of you so he asked me to come with him, but he wants to tell you what he talked with Jeanne…” I had forgotten about that. I resolutely moved to the door and opened it. I needed some answers. I stepped back and went to lean on the bathroom’s door without saying a single word. Niall glimpsed at me repeatedly until he finally seemed to collect the courage to speak.

“Harry…” He motioned his palm up.

“First of all–––I interrupted threateningly. How much did you get to see?”

“All of it…” Niall mumbled, looking away. Fuck. That meant the full frontal… He had the audacity to look at the full frontal while standing by my side. God, the full frontal…

“Are you picturing her right now?” I groaned, folding my arms across my chest.

“Just because we are talking about her, but she’s dressed,” he said innocently, gesturing with his hands.

“Did you go to the loo to jack off?”

“Harry, I’m in One Direction as you are–––Niall complained. I can’t simply go to a cloakroom to jack off. I’m not that stupid.” I glared at him.

“So why did you take so long then?” I insisted.

“I first stopped at the buffet table with Cal.” Well, that sounded as Niall.

“Tell me word by word.”

“OK, I was coming out of the loo and bumped into this girl. When I watched her closely I realised it was Jeanne–––he explained. I told her I knew who she was, and introduced myself…”

“How the hell do we get to the dimple’s poking?” I snapped. She never had poked mine, and I couldn’t get over it.

“Don’t be so anxious, mate,” Zayn cut me off. Niall flashed him a grateful look, and cleared his throat.

“OK, I know it sounds strange, but it was totally innocent. Well, I told her you were there…” Niall muttered.

“What did she say?–––I blurted out, my heart starting to race inside my chest. Did she seem upset?”

“She told me she was aware, and, yes, she was upset,” he admitted. My stomach churned.

“Was she crying?” I bounced forward to him.

“Crying? No–––he claimed, scrunching his face. She was flustered. I mean, quite mad.”

“Quite mad?” I practically shouted. Niall seemed to flinch. “And where's the good thing on that?”

“No, there's no such thing as a good thing,” Niall observed almost casually. Well, I got it then. “You asked me if she was upset and I tell you what I saw…” Point made. I gestured with my hand for him to continue. “OK, well, as she was mad I imagined you had snapped as always.” Zayn giggled. I gazed at them questioningly. “Well, yeah, Harry; you can be a bit of a dick sometimes, and I was right, wasn’t I? She didn’t tell me what you said though, but you can’t deny you acted as a prick.” No, I wasn’t denying that. I acted as a total child. Niall breathed in deeply. “So I apologised on your behalf…” I squinted at him. “I told her you were having a hard time since you came back from France because you have strong feelings for her, and she should give you a chance…”

“What is this?” I grunted, moving my arms emphatically. Both Niall and Zayn backed off. “Preschool all over again, Niall? Why would you say such things to Jeanne? She’ll think I’m a hen-pecked!”

“Well, Harry, sorry, but that’s what you are–––Niall mused, chuckling. You are head over heels for her and she knows,” he gestured with his finger down. Well, yeah. He was right about the whole thing.

“OK, the poking,” I carried on to avoid more comments on the topic.

“She told me I was very sweet and she just poked my chin dimple,” Niall said, glimpsing down, suddenly looking all shy. God, she had that affect on everybody. He was acting like a school kid in love! I could feel the angriness rising from my feet.

“Just like that,” I ventured, trying to control my jealousy.

“Well, yeah. She seems a very physical person…” I flashed him a lop-sided glare, mentally cursing him. “No pun intended.” I bit my lower lip, and crossed my arms tightly. The conversation was becoming exhausting.

“And then,” I insisted. Zayn rolled his eyes, exasperated.

“Well, then she asked me something I didn’t get, because she mixed up the languages…” Did she mix up the languages? “But she was asking me why I was speaking on your behalf. And I don’t know… It was strange, and sort of surprising for me.” Zayn and I looked at him in curiosity. “I told her you are like a brother to me, but mainly because I need to believe love can happen in a life like this…” Niall glanced down and I mirrored his actions. We stayed in silence for a brief moment.

“You are so snotty, Niall. Do you know that?” I told him.

“Yeah, maybe, but he came up with a hell of a pick-up line…” Zayn joked, trying to lighten up the mood. Niall looked at him and twisted his mouth.

“I don’t think Jeanne is the kind of girl who falls for that sort of things,” he said.

“What things?” I asked, dejected.

“Girlie things… Lovey things…–––Niall meditated. She’s too clever, Harry… She’s not the romantic type…” As if he knew my mind, Zayn moved abruptly from the wall.

“And what type is she?” I growled, stepping over. Zayn extended his hand to my chest to keep me still, stepping in between me and Niall.

“The dangerous type, Harry–––Niall mumbled. The type that leaves you like this…”

–.–.–

I couldn’t bear the thought. I just couldn’t… Maybe she wasn’t near to conventional, but they were going too far. For a fact Niall had seen this side of Jeanne not everybody got to see… Well, he saw her in all her splendour… Perhaps he was just impressed by her imposing presence in the pictures and her ways, those ways I knew so well, those ways she had to make you speak your heart even if you didn’t fully realise what you were saying. But I had to admit to myself he was right about one thing though. I was a mess and a fool for her.

Once they left I was so mad I jumped to the mini-bar, and grabbing all the miniatures of vodka I walked up to the bathroom. I placed them in the washbasin and opened one as I began to undo my jeans. I removed my shirt while drinking a second and a third. I slipped off my boots and socks, and drank another one. My insides were burning. There was a time not so long ago when the thought of Jeanne made me feel so happy… Why couldn’t I make it last? What was wrong with me? Was I jinxed? I mean, my love life was a fiasco indeed. I glanced at my reflexion in the mirror… What was I trying to hide behind all those tattoos? I grazed my hand across my chest. It was me who was the fiasco, nothing else… I shook my head before I’d start to cry, and took off my jeans and boxers. I grabbed the remaining small bottles, and made my way to the shower. That afternoon had been a nightmare… I put my face under the stream of water, shaking it, as if it could help me to forget, but I was truly relying on the vodka. My only hope was to fall blank against the pillow to avoid the thinking, but mainly the dreaming.

Because I was dreaming of her nightly, and until that afternoon I was counting on it… But after her last rejection part of me just wanted to get rid of everything. Just friends… That was way worse than ‘casual.’ I couldn’t think of anything else when I slipped between the sheets, my head spinning around. The vodka not only did not help me the slightest, but I was feeling more miserable than ever. I knew I shouldn’t have to, but I checked my phone. Louis hadn’t texted or called. Was he still with her? It was 10 p.m. already. God, the idea was so difficult for me to endure. Why in the world had Niall to find that freaking poster? Everything would be as any other day if he hadn’t. But he did, and I ran unexpectedly into Jeanne for the third time in my life. How could it have happened? Philadelphia was a decent size city. How could it have happened and mean anything? Prisoner of my thoughts I began to type confusedly.

To Jeanne: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. I felt overwhelmed by the situation.

I’m not an absolute arse. I needed to explain myself to her. She would understand who was writing, and if she didn’t she had Louis with her to clear things up. Who cared about him? Screw him.

To Jeanne: I shouldn’t have left you this way when seeing you were all I had been dreaming of.

I dropped my mobile by my side and squeezed my eyes tightly to prevent the threatening tears behind my eyelids from streaming down. Why did I have to fall in love with her? Why didn’t I leave after the first time we slept together? She’d just be the best shag of my life… I cuddled to my big pillow and plunged my face in it, hoping it would take the nausea away. For a moment I thought I had no chance to fall asleep, but before I could even feel the numbness of my limbs as they began to relax alcohol overtook my mind.

When I hazily woke up it was still dark and I couldn’t place the hour. The room was spinning around, and my temples hurt. That weight I was feeling on my back was almost suffocating me, and I could barely move… But then I felt it, a fresh, wet tongue running through my earlobe, and stuck in my ear. I moaned, and propped myself on my elbows to turn around. My head was still dizzy, and my movements, extremely slow, but I recognised the scent, the touch against my body… How could I not, even under those circumstances? I cupped the face between my hands, my eyes adjusting to the darkness, and it was her… It was her.

“Is this a dream?” I mumbled, straightening up a bit as I pulled down from her.

“Yes,” she said softly.

“Jeanne…” I tried to look into her eyes but I was just able to envision a faint, shivering glow.

“Don’t make a sound.”

Her lips parted and I stared at them until they were on my lips, and I felt her warm tongue brushing my teeth. I breathed in as my tongue reacted to her contact. My lower belly ached. We were kissing… How many times lately I had feared I would never get to feel her kisses again? I clung to Jeanne to bring her on top of me, one hand on her waist and the other one on the nape of her neck to keep her close, her silky hair grazing my knuckles, my longing body rewarded for all the absence, shuddering from head to toes.

Straightening up on her knees Jeanne removed her dress. God, the sight of her pale breasts standing out in the darkness… My whole self was throbbing for her. She led her hand to my neck, keeping me still against the bed, and began to slide her palm down across my torso. Earlier after the shower I had thrown myself in bed without even putting on my boxers, so I was already naked and so hard, but that didn’t prevent my abdomen from clenching in anxiousness under Jeanne’s fingertips. I exhaled loudly as I felt the back of her hand brushing my shaft. Jeanne shushed me. I just wanted all of her so badly my mind was about to snap.

I sat down not to lose contact with her skin. I needed to feel her, to touch her. My hands began to roam hungrily over her soft body, tugging, rubbing, easing down her lacy knickers. I resolutely pulled her against my crotch and she positioned herself, circling my neck around her arms, her eyes never leaving mine. I was trembling in expectation. Jeanne lowered her hips on me and there was that miracle that happened every time we made love, that friction, that softness… I gasped. I couldn’t even explain my response to our most intimate contact, as melting but bursting with desire at the same time.

She began to rock her body the way she did when she wanted to make me last, slow and hard, grazing her chest on mine and her pubis on me at the end. God, she was so exquisite. I just let her do, only holding her by the waist, as she knew exactly where to twitch to make me go insane. And I totally was. I couldn’t believe we were there together after all that happened that afternoon… As her movements became increasingly deliberate I bowed at her until our foreheads met, my sharp breathing against her lips, my eyes fixed on hers. I knew I was getting close and I just couldn’t keep it quiet. Jeanne clasped my mouth without stopping her motions, shushing me lowly again.

“They’re listening behind the door,” she muttered jaggedly.

For a second I frowned, almost losing focus. Of course they were there. It was so obvious it had been Louis who brought her to my room. I could definitely picture those creeps out on the corridor… My mind grunted, but then eerily the idea made things ten times more arousing and I began to moan loudly into her hand as Jeanne struggled to muffle me pushing her lips and cheek over the back of her hand, while she was fighting to shut up herself. It all was becoming so freaking intense I could barely hold myself back.

“I love you,” I told her confusedly, but she didn’t know what I was saying as her fingers kept stifling any sound. We were so near… I began to thrust, grabbing her so tightly against my body I practically absorbed the shock of her spasms as she collided on me while she came, pushing me straight to pleasure. I let myself fall against the mattress groaning quietly, carrying her with me. Jeanne rested her head on my big pillow, eyes closed, frowning her nose a bit. I was still panting furiously but I led my hand to her forehead to push aside some locks of hair. She opened her eyes in silence but I could hear her jagged breathing and my heart pounding against my ribcage. “I love you, Jeanne,” I continued repeating in my mind, approaching her to kiss her shoulder as I caressed it lightly with the tip of my fingers, because I knew a single word would push her away, and that was the last thing I wanted.

I just wanted to stay this way, her warm body intertwined with mine, her hair sprawled around me… I wanted her to fall asleep to be able to watch that peaceful expression of hers. God, I needed her to fall asleep so she would stay with me the night. I couldn’t stop staring at every one of her soft features in disbelief, my chest expanding in joy. But soon everything caught up with me and I couldn’t prevent my eyelids from dropping. She was the last thing I saw, Jeanne getting blurry… When I awoke a timid ray of light was slipping through the curtain on the window. I lifted my head and glanced to my left, expecting to find her smooth body by my side. I bounced in shock as I realised nobody was in bed with me. I shook my head, confused, bringing my hands to my face. My head was hurting, and my mind was sort of dazed still. What in the world had happened? Had it all been a dream?

–.–.–

Notes

Had it all been a dream? You know I'm totally capable of! ;D And you love me for that! Next chapter is the unexpected chapter. Don't miss it!

OK, Google is making some changes. They're going to change authentication paths, so websites using Google to log in must change it in order to keep opening Google's ID. This site is very low maintenance, so I fear they won't. That is the reason I created a new account with Yahoo, to be sure I'll be able to access my story. That explains my own co-authoring. They have until April, 20 to do so. I don't want to alarm anybody, but it had happened before and people lost stories and accounts.

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