Forever and Infinity

Paisley

I still remember that day like it was just yesterday. It was only three years ago; I was sixteen and Harry was seventeen.

We had just gone out to lunch, and Harry took me to a field that was our special place ever since we discovered it when we were younger.

It was the place where we talked, told stories, laughed, and ran around like crazy. Sometimes we'd just look at the stars if we came during the night, and if it was summer, we'd catch fireflies.

But it was that day that everything changed.

Harry and I were laying side by side on the grass, watching the clouds.

Breaking the silence, Harry said, "I really want my singing career to work. I want to travel the world. Even if it's with four other lads instead of just me, I think it could possibly work."

I smiled at him. Harry was on The X Factor the previous year, and had been grouped together with four other rowdy boys. If anything, he really could make it.

But he wasn't finished yet.

"I know it probably wouldn't last forever, because all good things come to an end, but I guess after the adrenaline, that's when things start to settle down. I want to find someone, Paisley. Someone that I'd be madly in love with, someone who'd love me just as much as I'd love them. I want to know what it's like to be in love. In real love. And not just your average teenager that thinks they're in love when they're really not. The phrase 'madly in love' is so overused. But I want to find a love like that. I want to be 'madly in love,' because I think the term could be real."

That was the day. That was the day I realized that I was in love with Harry. I didn't like the idea of him kissing and loving another girl.

I knew that it should be me.

▪️

My eyes opened, and the first thing they landed on was a sleeping Harry on the floor. I was on the couch, wrapped in a quilt, and the Wizard of Oz was still going; Harry must've put it on a cycle.

Picking myself up from the couch, I walk into the kitchen and pour myself a glass of orange juice. I open a bottle of my medication and take one. Once I hear footsteps coming towards the kitchen, I hurriedly put the bottle back in the drawer and turn around to be met by Harry's gaze.

"Morning, Paisley," he yawns. "What's in that drawer of yours?"

Crap. "Um, just some, uh, candy. You know, skittles, Hershey's, stuff like that."

"Really now? Can I have some?"

"Uh, I don't have any left. Sorry, ran out. I can go get you some more-"

"You're rambling. Just tell me, what's in the drawer?"

He tries to get past me, and he succeeds. He opens the drawer and examines the contents, and finds exactly what he was looking for: the pill bottle.

"Care to explain?"

Lord, please help me. "They're... They're p-painkillers. Yeah, I've been having really bad stomach aches and-"

"It says 'steroid' on the label."

"Fine, you caught me. I've got the stomach flu." Great, Paisley. He's going to be real happy if he ever finds out you're lying.

▪️

After the little "episode," Harry made us breakfast, and we sat on the couch and watched Hotel Transylvania.

"If I can't find a girl, I'm going to marry a hot vampire," Harry says, with his mouth full of eggs.

"Don't fall for the sparkles."

"If only it were that easy."

"I thought you were dating That chick... Uh, Carol?"

"Carley, and I was, but I broke it off."

"Why?"

"I just realized that I had more important priorities than her and she didn't really mean that much to me."

"What kind of priorities?"

"Another girl."

My face fell at his words.

He already found another girl.

I guess there wasn't really any point in having my hopes up. It's only a matter of time until I go, and maybe it's better this way. I guess it's much easier to let go a friend, rather than someone that you're madly in love with and desperately need.

But even as I think this, I can't help the tears that spring from my eyes.

Why does life have to be this way? Why can't have I have a happy ending?

I guess all good things come to an end, as Harry said years ago, but nothing good for me has even begun.

Sure, some good things have come to me in the past, but they're all long gone. But what I want to have; what I so desperately need; something I haven't felt since my parents were alive, is love.

But not just 'family and friendly love.'

I want a romantic, magical, yet intense kind of love. With kisses, and hugs, and caresses, and "I love you's."

Is it possible to live a life with nothing as good and as wonderful as love when your days are limited or even at all?

With the one person I'm in love with?

With the one person who doesn't love me back?

With the one person who is my best friend?

The very same person that is sitting on this couch next to me, watching a children's movie, who has no idea how much I want him to love me like I love him.

Notes

Hullo again!

Updates should be Daily up until chapter seven. I'm almost done with chapter six right now.

xx