The Smut Special

From Russia WITH VENGEANCE AND SEX AND GORE (Not NSFW)

“COMMUNISM,” Zayne screamed, “I SMELL COMMUNISM. GIVE ME DEMOCRACY AND GUNS.”

“Literally shut the fuck up,” Liam sighed dramatically into his milkshake.

Hollywood screamed.

Liam went to get tourist panflet for Saint. Petersbourgh. >Well it looks like they’re here on this star. The star that says in explicit English that they are selling Harry out like a two-cent whore. It’s an advertisement for Harry’s young dick. It’s a direct clue to where our friend is right now. On this map. The map I have in my hand. Here.” (A/N: I get butter at writing slut monie swag bitches ur feskin welcum)

Naill screamed.

Zayne scratched his chin with an AK 47. “Where are we gonna find Harry?”

“It’s hopefully hopeless let’s go home fuck it,” Hollywood lamented.

Naill cried.

They all went to get brunch but first they had to get into a cab but before that they had to get money so they went to the bank and got some $$$$ hella cash monie. And then they went to go to the bank so they could get the monie to get into the cab so they can have money for lunch too and the cab and maybe perhaps the hotel after they get monoie for brunch.

“Wait what’s the plan?” Hollywood asked the One Direction dick throbs.

“Okay see we’re supposed to go to the bank so we can get into a cab to get monie for the brun ch monie.” Louis explained.

“Okay makes sens>” Hollywood nodded.

They all headed over to the Red Light district where Harry and the two criminal hoe whore bitches are.

Zayne got run over by a car being led by reindeer. (A/N: RIP the one diretion fandom misses you i wish you didn;t die like thats so sad maybe you should have reconsidered your life choixes? We miss you bby)

The new FBI team of Hollywood Hollywood, Zayne, Louis, Liam and their packmule busted down the door of Paris Hilton and Tricia’s crack cocaine mansion.

“How fucking dare you ducking liar fakes,” Tricia held a bottle of cocaine close to her heart because thats her bby cocaine bby.

Paris Hilton stopped snorting heroine off Harry’s dick, distracted and upset.

“WELL WHO’S GONNA PAY FOR THE DOOR WHICH I DIDN’T HAVE TO PAY FOR AT ALL CASH MONIE” Paris screamed.

Tricia, ever the fast thinker, started hurling cocaine bbys at the FBI team. Paris Hilton joined her. Soon the FBI team was unconcious. At the smell of heroine, JUSTIN BIEBER WALKED INTO THE FUCKING APAPRTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

“Well, we gotta kidnap him too,” Tricia said, frowning and sighing at ther same time.

“But, why?” Paris Hilton gargled.

“Because we gotta.” Tricia winks.

“OK,” Paris Hilton winks back, ;) <3, then she lifted Justin Bieber onto her shoulder AND RAN FOR IT.

WHERE WILL THEY GO? HOW LONG UNTIL THE FIZZ CATCHES UP TO THEIR HEINOUS AND SEXY DEEDS????????

Notes

Next xhpter <3