Show Me Where it Hurts

In those initial seconds, all I can do is stare at him. He isn’t the same Will I knew, if I ever knew him at all. His eyes are crazed, he has grown out some blonde stubble, his hair is greasy and unkempt.

“What..” That was all I could breathe.
“Country houses are so easy to break into.” He smiled, as if he was telling me something great. “A very nice country house it is, too. Did he do all this?” Will looked around as if he was genuinely admiring the place. “He’s such a great husband.”
“He’ll be back any minute.” I tried, finding enough of my voice to be barely audible.

Will let out a chuckle and shook his head.

“I think we both know that Harry won’t be here in time.” He cocked his head to one side and raked his eyes over my body, up and down. I felt like I was standing there naked. Then I remembered the tape and felt terrified. What if he pulled that on me again?

And Harry won’t be here in time? In time for what?

“Please leave, Will.” I said, my voice shaky. He moved forward, until he was pinning me against the sink with his hips. My phone was no where in sight.
“But we haven’t seen each other in such a long time. I want us to spend some time together.” He whispered his words into my ear and a horrible feeling like a rash swam up my neck.
“My children, Will. They’re upstairs.” I begged, but then wondered if I should have even admitted that to him. “I know you’re not well, Will. You need help.”
“You need help in how not to be a stuck up little whore,” He spat, and his hand found the thin bones of my neck. I tried to let out a scream but nothing came. “What, you think because you have kids with him it doesn’t make you a whore? Because you have some bullshit wedding ring that you show off whenever you can?”
“Will, please.” My eyes were swimming with tears. “What do you want? Money?”
“I don’t want his money. God knows you’ve done well enough living off it.” He turned his back on me and spun around to face me again. He was erratic and frightening but I didn’t want to cause enough racket to wake up the ever-inquisitive Ivy who would certainly come downstairs and see what was happening.

My thoughts were all over the place. I looked around me without moving my head, darting my eyes around in despair. The kitchen knives stood in their wooden pillar. If I could reach over fast enough I could hold it out and at least try to look more threatening than I did now. I had no phone to call on and no other means of getting him out of here.

As fast as my hand had spun out from my chest, Will had a horrible, callous hold on it. He crunched my fingers into his palm, twisted my arm around my back, and spun me so I my back was pressed against his chest in a lock. I knew he was going to hurt me. He had never been physical before but he had never shown signs of being a psychopath, yet, here he was. These past six months his behaviour had been chilling.

“I’m somebody’s wife, Will, I’m the mother of two babies that need me.” I cried, trying my best to remain calm. Calm? I wasn’t calm, I was hysterical. “Please don’t do anything stupid.”
“Fuck you.” He said, and he released me. I backed out and into the living room, until I hit the back of the sofa. “You should have been my wife, you should have had my kids. Instead you’re fucking famous, famous! Annie James from school who hardly ever spoke a word to anyone and wore the same low cut blouses and cute cigarette trousers everyday, fuck, you were a tease even back then."

I felt my heart beating against my rib cage as I pulled the vest top I had put on higher onto my chest, insecure at his vicious words.

“Do you know what the funniest thing is though?” Will grinned, his crystal-white, psychotic grin. “It’s always me who had you first, he’ll never have that.”
“He doesn’t care about that, Jesus fucking Christ Will.” I was losing my temper. “You think Harry is an angel? You think he didn’t sleep with a lot of girls? Fucking hell. Models, musicians, I know all about them and I don’t care. And he doesn’t care about my past, either. Least of all you.”
“He’s threatened by me, I know it.” He said, his smile faltering. “I could have you, Annie. Admit it.”
“You couldn’t have shit. You are scum, Will. You are nothing.” Shit.

Will pushed me with both hands over the sofa’s edge and on top of me.

“Couldn’t have shit?” He laughed, grinning wildly again. “Shall we make another tape? What shall we call this one?”
“Please, don’t do this.” I was back to sobbing again, feeling him on my chest, pushing his body against me with such force that I struggled to find air to breathe.
“Then tell me I could have this again. Say it.”

I tried to shake my head but he was so close to my face and he was wrapped all around me. I couldn’t move.

“SAY IT!” He screamed, and grabbed a lock of my hair. He tugged so that I was forced to look up at him. When I looked into his face all I saw was the end. All I saw was Harry bringing up Noah and Ivy alone. Taking them to visit my grave on birthdays and special occasions. Talking about me in the past tense. Will will kill me tonight, I’m sure of it.
“You could have it.” I whispered, defeated. I prayed that Ivy was still asleep. I prayed that Noah wasn’t going to wake and give Will an excuse to go upstairs and scare them half to death, too.
“Of course I could.” He laughed, climbing off of me. I sat up on my elbows and crawled away from him. I looked around frantically for the house phone. Shit. It’s upstairs by our bed where I left it last night.

Will brushed my hair back, acting as gentle as his rough hands would allow. I cringed at the feel of him. I could have been blind folded and told it was Harry and I would have known from his touch it wasn’t. Harry, fuck. The only person I wanted to see and would probably never see again.

“Let’s play question time.” He said, sitting in front of me. “What is it about Harry that you love so much?”
“Will, please-“
“I asked you a question.” He stated, angrily. He rested his hand on my thigh and the feel of it was threatening to move up further. I shook with fear, looking towards the front door and praying that Anne, or Robin, or Eleanor.. Louis.. anyone, would break through.

The sad truth was that I knew how alone I was. I was in the middle of three fields, the bakery and the village was a fifteen minute drive away.

“He’s my husband,” I began, wondering what the fuck else he wanted me to say. Maybe I love him because he’s not a psychopath? He doesn’t have me sat in a chair with a rapey look on his face?
“Lets have sex, Annie, lets just do it.” Will grinned manically and I swallowed instantly. He’s going to fucking rape me for the second time. Harry will never get over it. I will, but he won’t.
“I’m married, Will. I have a different life. Please don’t do this to me, I was never unfair to you, I’ve never shoved this - Harry, the kids, our lives in your face.” I was begging him, practically.
“You were mine first.” He said, as if that was where I had gone wrong. Looking at another man when he had looked, and had sex with several other women in our time together.
“I wasn’t the one for you.” I said, truthfully. “You know that you didn’t love me. Your pride is just hurt, I get it, you just want me back as some sort of bragging rights to Harry.”
“I want to hurt him, Annie, so deeply. Do you understand?” Will stood up and brushed his long blonde hair from his face, walking backwards and forwards.
“Where is she?” He said, suddenly.
“Who?” my voice didn’t even sound like mine anymore.

“Where is his little pride and joy? Dot told me all about his strange obsession with little Ivy.” His smile was sickening. So Dot did have something to do with this?

My eyes flickered to the staircase and I opened my mouth to lie, to tell him she was at her grandmothers, anything, but he had already spotted that damning look on my face. He raced up the stairs and took two at a time. I tried so hard to get in front of him. If he got to my children before me, then I wouldn’t want to be alive. I would rather die than have them suffer with the consequences of the terrible people in my past.

Notes

Well.. what do we think is gonna happen? :(