“El? Where are you? Did you call?”
“Annieeeeee! Yeah, I called. I popped up to Doncaster for the week with Lou. He says you’re in Holmes Chapel?”
“Yeah, until tomorrow night. I’m just waiting for Harry.” I stifled a yawn, the jet lag catching up on me.
“Well I haven’t seen you in an eternity and.. I really need to.” Her tone was more serious. I thought it was, at least, by Eleanor’s usual dreamy standards.
“I’m just going back to Anne’s house. Do you want to make the drive over? You can stay at ours if you like?”

Anne stopped in the middle of wrapping the cardigan she had previously taken off around herself, raised an inquisitive eyebrow, and then went back to buttoning up Ivy’s pea coat.

“Yes! I’ll leave now. I probably won’t stay because.. well.. I’ll explain everything when I see you.” Another serious statement.
“Okay, I’ll see you soon El.”
“Bye!"

I hoisted myself up from the uncomfortable wooden Costa coffee chair. Noah had still not settled back into his routine. It was five in the afternoon and he shouldn’t be asleep for at least another three hours, but here he is, his angelic little features in a soft slumber. I knew he would wake up even earlier tonight, and the thought filled me with dread. But his current peaceful state was too welcomed for me to wake him up and risk him crying his small lungs out.

I made a mental note to remind Harry that we should upgrade our Range Rover to the latest model, noticing that Anne and Robin already had, as I placed Ivy and Noah into the back seat. Then, I’d probably get a lecture. “If it’s not broken we’re not fixing it.” He’d say. I can see him as clear as day saying that.

“What did Eleanor call for?” Anne huffed around, pulling her seat forward and getting comfortable for the ten minute drive.
“Oh, she was just seeing if she could pop over. She’s in Doncaster. She wants to pop over, the drive’s short and we can never seem to catch each other in London anymore.” I sighed sadly.
“Ooh lovely! You could do with some girly company."

Anne pushed her driving glasses onto her nose and I smiled to myself at the cute nature of Harry’s mum. I had only met Harry’s father half as much as I’d like to have done, but I knew his character stemmed from her, which made me miss him even more.

“Look at those two poppets.” Anne glanced back in her mirror.
“It is so hard doing it alone. Even for the night. If it’s not him, it’s her.” I nodded between the two of them. “He wants milk, she wants Harry. He needs changing, she has a nightmare.”

I was moaning, but I wouldn’t change either of them for the world.

“Ha! You’re preaching to the choir. Between your husband and Gemma, I nearly had a nervous breakdown. Well. I say Gemma, but she never bothered anybody as a child. Harry, on the other hand.”
“Really?” I enjoyed where this conversation was going, continuing it as we both made our way out of the car and inside.
“Really. You think Ivy is obsessive. I couldn’t go to work for so long because any time I left Harry with anybody that wasn’t me, he’d just lose his mind. He would scream - he wouldn’t even tire himself out - he would just scream until I came back.”

I let out a chuckle as Ivy came moping past. I brought Noah into my arms, and laid back on the huge reclining chair. I didn’t much fancy putting him down yet, I had taught myself to savour as much of the kids being babies as I can, seeing as Ivy grew up so quick.

The fabric of the blanket beside me smelt like Anne and in turn, smelt like Harry. This family and their warm, country, comforting smell.

Around an hour later, Eleanor arrived. It had probably been a month or two since I had seen her last, a long time but she had sort of disappeared off the radar. Besides, I never attended any social events or anything like that anymore, too busy being covered in baby puke.

“Are you alright? You seem so.. detached?” I said, realising the difference in my best friend instantly despite our time apart.

She sighed and pushed a strand of her fringe away with a manicured finger.

“I really need some advice.. like, your advice.” She looked down at her lap and mumbled; “I have no idea what I’m doing..”
“Is everything alright?” I scooted closer to her and balanced Noah back in his carseat by my leg, sensing something huge was coming. Eleanor’s eyes trailed down and watched my baby with some sort of weird look.
“No and yes, yes and no.” She bit on her lip and played with her engagement ring. “I’m pregnant.”
“Whaaaat?!” I hissed, reaching behind me and closing the door of the Styles’ front room. “Planned?”
“No, it’s not planned, which is why I’m freaking out. I just thought, you have two kids and you’ve been through a shit ton of stuff in your life and you just know what you’re talking about-“
“Calm down, El,” I stifled a laugh and instead gave a reassuring smile. “It’s really not that big of a deal.”
“I’m pregnant!” She hissed, throwing her hands in the air and pointing towards her stomach. “We’re not even married yet.. I swear this is the longest engagement-“
“You have told Louis, though?” I frowned. She shook her head. “Okay, well there’s your first port of call. The first thing I can honestly tell you from my experience is tell them. Tell them straight away.”
“But I don’t know if I want to.. to keep it.” She looked down and it made me sad that she clearly thought I would judge her.

I reassured her several more times. I told her that even if she didn’t know what her next move would be, she would have to tell Louis so he could decide with her. Men seem to feel completely powerless when you’re carrying the baby and they’re the ones just moping around, waiting for it to pop out. At least, Harry was.

“And you?” She said, changing the subject after an hours discussion and her feeling much better. “Are you going to have anymore?"

Ivy had gone up to lay with her grandmother and Noah was still, thank God, sleeping.

“I..”
“You want to?” Eleanor grinned enthusiastically for me and I frowned.
“I don’t know if I could give birth again.” I said, seriously. “I don’t even know if I could carry a baby again. I never carry to term and I stress so easily..”
“You love kids though.” She tipped her head to one side. “So does Harry, doesn’t he?”
“Yeah.. I suppose.” I laughed suddenly. “Give me a break, El, I’m still recovering from the last one.” I nodded towards Noah.
“I should start heading back anyway.” She stood up, sure of herself and let out a deep breath. “I’m going to tell him tonight.”
“Really?” I stood up with her. “You’re more than welcome to stay... it’s a lot of driving.”
“It’s okay, Ans. I feel alright. I’ll take it slow and let you know how it goes. I just have to get back to him.” She flicked her hair behind her shoulder and fiddled with her expensive watch. “We’ve got to talk."

Eleanor had never looked so certain and I was glad that she would take my advice. I had learned the hard way, from the Ivy pregnancy, that lying did not help matters.

With Eleanor gone, Ivy coming downstairs ready for bed, and Noah still making my life easier by sleeping, I decided to make the short drive back to our own home. Harry would be back tomorrow morning and I wanted to organise the house before I left for London.

---

“You can’t sleep with me again, baby.” I sighed. “You have to learn to sleep in the big girl bedroom.”
“But I don’t like sleeping in that room, it’s too dark.” Ivy's bottom lip threatened to wobble. I thanked the God’s that it would be Harry putting her to bed as usual from tomorrow.
“How about if I leave the hallway light on?” I smiled, brushing her hair from her face. The strands at the front had a tendency to go curly, something that she had inherited, no doubt, from her father.

She nodded solemnly and the rest of their bedtime routine was easy. I knew I would sleep easier tonight, but still wanted some alone time. I padded slowly downstairs and into the kitchen, engrossing myself in the method of making tea.

sorry i haven’t called today babe. didn’t know when would be best with the time dif but spoke to mum and she say’s you’re all good, so i’ll just see you in the morning as planned. big kisses to you and the babies. xx H

Why did he insist on signing off his initial like that? That’s what caller ID was for. I smiled at the text and placed the phone to the side. I took a moment to have a look over the calendar behind me as I stirred my tea. Another year was flying by.

When I turned back, my phone was gone. Odd, I know I placed it right there. I looked around the countertop and frowned, feeling like I was losing my mind. Then I heard a horrible voice, one I wanted to forget forever, one that would haunt me until I died.

“Are you looking for this?” Will.

Notes

Double updating for not updating in a week! Sorry guys, I was offline because I was travelling around. I went to the boys’ charity match yesterday. it was amazing.. i fell in love with Harry even more. Something about that boy you can just literally see his personality in everything he does. Such a charmer.

x