You Make Me Strong

I woke up to an empty bed. Niall's warm arms weren't around me anymore and my whole body was cold from the lack of his body heat. Struggling, I sat up straight, pulling my legs up to my chest. I couldn't shake the thoughts of Zayn's attack against me. He ruined my sanity and it hasn't even been a full day.

My whole body was aching and I wasn't going to try to push myself from the bed. I couldn't think straight as I stared blankly at the wall. I was so off in my own world that I didn't hear the door open.

"Emi?" Trinity brought me out of my thoughts and I slowly shifted my gaze to her. She looked like she had been up all night. Her eyes were sunken in and her hair was up in a messy bun. She walked over to the bed and sat down. "How are you feeling?" I wanted to laugh at her for the stupidity of the question but I didn't. I just stared at my feet.

"I've been better." My voice was raspy as a lump formed in my throat. Tears stung my eyes but I blinked them away. I cleared my throat and looked over at her. "Where's Niall?" She stared at me for a second, most likely staring at how broken I looked.

"He's downstairs with the guys." Her voice was sympathetic but at the same time, worried. She was hiding something, I could tell by the way she wouldn't look directly into my eyes.

"Let me guess, Zayn's here too?" Hatred laced through my words as I glared at her. I really shouldn't be mad at her but this isn't the time to bead around the bush. Adrenaline raced through my veins as I pushed myself off the bed. Ignoring the pain in my legs, I stormed down the stairs, stopping at the last step.

What the fuck are you going to do? Walk in there and punch him in the mouth?

I pushed aside those thoughts and took off to the kitchen. I could hear them talking as I walked closer. Niall's voice was loud and angry.

"You're fucking stupid! How the fuck could you do that to her?!" He was yelling at Zayn. A fist connected with the counter, making me flinch but I continued to walk in there. "Damn it, Za-" His voice was cut off when he saw Liam's eyes grow wide. I stood there staring straight at Niall as he turned around to see who walked in.

"Hey Emi." Harry was the only one who could move apparently. He walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. I gave him a quick hug before stepping back. "How are you fe-"

"I'm fine." I wasn't in the mood to answer that question in depth. "Why is he here? To try and rape me again?" My blood boiled with anger and hatred. I didn't want to see his face, let alone be in the same house as him. I stepped around Harry so Zayn could see the bruises he left on my face and neck. Zayn didn't look up as I walked over to where he sat. "Look at me!" My voice rang through the quiet house. He finally shifted his gaze to my face. "Look what you did to me!" I couldn't control my anger at this point. He thinks that if he apologizes, everything will be better, like I'll forget about everything.

"Emi, I-" I held my hand up to stop him.

"Do you want to see the other damage you caused me?" I lifted up the shirt I was wearing to expose the softball size bruises on my stomach. His eyes started to water as he stared at the bruises he left on me. "That's not the first of it. There's more." I pulled the pant legs of my shorts up, showing more dark purple bruises, the size of his fingers.

"Emi, I-I'm sorry." His voice was shaky as he stood up. I backed away from him and stood between Niall and Liam.

"Sorry isn't going to fix the mental anguish your actions have caused me." Tears stung my eyes and I couldn't control them from falling. His facial expression changed from sympathetic to rage.

"Well if you weren't dressed like a fucking slut then none of this would have happened!" I hid my face in Niall's shoulder, afraid he was going to hit me again. "This is your fault, you stupid bitch! I told you that you would regret going to that party last night, didn't I?!" My body shook as sobs racked through me. Niall wrapped his arms around me as Zayn got closer. "You think you can protect her?" A sickening laugh erupted from his body.

"Leave. Now. Zayn." Louis spoke up, stepping between Zayn and I.

"You guys can't protect the princess all the time. I will get her to myself. One way or another." Liam grabbed him by his shirt and slammed him against the counter.

"Fucking touch her one more time, and I won't be afraid to kill you myself." His voice was low but terrifying. I would never want to piss Liam off at all. Zayn pushed him off with a laugh and walked out. "Fucking asshole." Liam mumbled under his breath as he stood in front of me.

"It is my fault." I cried into Niall's chest.

"No, no it's not." Niall pulled me back and held me at arms length. "None of this is your fault. I don't want to hear you say that again." He wasn't being mean by any means. He was wanting me to understand that this wasn't my fault, even though I knew it was. I simply nodded, running my hands through my hair. Everything was my fault. My parents death was my fault, it was my fault that my Aunt had to give up her dream of being a movie producer so she could take care of me, and this whole situation was my fault. All I am is a fuck up. I should have killed myself and none of this would have happened.

"Would you like to go get something to eat?" Liam was calm now and could actually think straight.

"I really don't want to go out looking like this." I wasn't talking about my clothes, my face was the issue. The bruises were dark and very noticeable.

"Don't worry, I can take care of it." Trinity walked in, with a small smile on her face. She was holding her make up bag and some clothes in her arms. Her smile was understanding but her body language is what threw me off. She seemed distant, like she was going to hurt me if she said or did the wrong thing. Her eyes looked at me like I was wounded, which I guess in a way, she was right. I was wounded, mentally and physically. "I'll cover those blemishes. You'll forget they are there." She held her hand out for me to take. I just stared at it, not really knowing what to do. I wasn't used to having people wanting to help me, well not since my parents passed away.

"She's gonna help you, Emi." Louis was in front of me now, staring down at me. I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair. Nodding, I grasped Trinity's hand and she led me up stairs to Niall's room.

"You guys need to stop looking at me like I'm wounded." I stated, coldly, as I sat down at the desk. She simply nodded, not knowing what to say. Of course she's not going to know what to say, she's never been in a situation like this. She doesn't know what I've been through. Nobody truly does, not even my family. Sure, they knew I lost my parents and that I was sad but it was worse than that. I turned to cutting myself and drinking, all the time. Nobody was there to help me through any of it. I didn't have anybody to talk to and when I tried to talk to somebody, they would just turn a blind eye to everything I said.

"Emi? Did you hear me?" Trinity's voice was calm and hushed. I wouldn't see why because we were alone.

"No, what did you say?" Her eyes held sympathy and kindness.

"I said to go shower real quick and then I'll get started on your make up." Nodding my head, I stood up and walked to the bathroom, stripping my clothes off. Trying to get into the shower was a challenge. My muscles tensed up everytime I tried to lift my legs to step in. I eventually had to sit on the edge and swing my legs over to get in. The water was warm as it ran over my body, relaxing my tense muscles. I didn't have time to think at all, since Trinity said a quick shower, so I just washed as fast as my body would let me. I turned the water back off and gripped the shower curtain, peeking around it looking for a towel. I was getting ready to yell for Trinity but a hand reached out, with a towel in it.

"Thought you might need this." Trinity giggled as I took it from her, thanking her quietly. I stepped out of the shower, wrapping the towel around me. "Did the shower help relax you?" I nodded as I dried off. She helped me get dressed once she saw how much I struggled with drying off. "I know you're not the type of person to ask for help, so I'm just going to help you anyway." I laughed a little.

"I've never had someone to help me after...." I trailed off not wanting to really open up right now but she turned me to her.

"You can tell me, Emi. I'm not going to run and stop being your friend." I chewed on my botton lip, contemplating. The demons started fighting in my head on whether or not to tell her.

She could run away and never talk to me again or she could sympathize with me and our friendship could be stronger.

"I've had a rough past few years." I sat down in the chair by the desk, staring at my feet.

You have to tell someone, get it off your chest.

I inwardly groaned, my demons taking over. I just wanted to run away. I wanted to disappear but I knew that wouldn't help anything. I would be alone again. In my mind, I knew I couldn't handle being alone again. Running my hand through my hair, I turned my gaze to Trinity, who was kneeling in front of me already starting on my make up.

"It was the day before my sixteenth birthday and I had begged my parents to get me tickets to go see Of Mice & Men for my birthday." Inhaling sharply as she dabbed make up on my black eyes. "They left the morning of my birthday, before I even woke up, to go get the tickets. Once I woke up, I knew something was wrong. Nobody was in the house and it was really quiet until I heard someone banging on the front door." Trinity had stopped doing my make up and was now staring at me with wide eyes. I ignored her stare and continued. "When I opened the door, two police officers stood there, with an envelope that had my name on it." My stomach ached at the memory but I went on. "They asked me if I was Emileah and of course I said yes. I let them come in and they stood in the door way with sorrow in their eyes. One of them was a woman and she had tears brimming their eyes. I knew at that very moment, something happened to my parents." Tears started to fall from my eyes and down my cheeks. Trinity reached up and wiped them away, with a gentle hand.

"Emi, you don't have to tell me all of this." Her voice was quiet and shaky. I shook my head.

"My parents were in a car wreck. They were hit head on by a drunk driver. A fucking drunk driver at like ten o'clock in the morning!" My head fell back as I yelled the last part. "They went out to buy my tickets for the concert! It was my fucking fault they died!" I sobbed into my hands. "I fell to the floor shaking and sobbing. The woman officer held me in her arms, crying with me, telling me it was going to be okay, but it wasn't. I became so depressed that I started drinking all the time and hurting myself." I tugged my shorts down a little to show Trinity the scars on my hips. "I wanted to die because if I wouldn't have begged for those tickets they would still be here." More sobs racked through my body and I couldn't control them. Trinity was crying now, holding me as I cried against her shoulders. "The worst part about all of this, is that the concert tickets were in the envelope. I still went to the concert despite everything that happened because there was a note with them, telling me to go and have fun, no matter what happened. It was scribbled on the back of the envelope along with my mom and dad's last words ever written to me, 'We love you Emi and we will always be there for you'. It's like they saw it coming!"

"Oh my god, Emi, I-I'm so sorry that happened to you." She hugged me and held me as I continued to cry and bawl my eyes out. "I'm always going to be here for you, whenever you need someone to talk to or if you need a shoulder to cry on, I'll be here for you." I nodded, hugging her tightly.

"Thank you, Trinity." I pulled back, wiping my eyes, trying not to smudge the make up. "I'm sorry, I ruined the make up." A light laughed fell from my lips.

"It's okay, I can redo it. I feel honored you opened up to me." She smiled as she fixed my make up again. "I don't know how you truly feel but I know how it feels to resort to self-harm. I have scars on my thighs from a few years ago. I understand."

"I would never see you as the person to do that." I wasn't lying. Trinity was cheerful all the time around me but it was a mask, to hide her true feelings. She chuckled.

"There is always a story behind every person. Some worse than others but the past is what has molded us into the girls we are today." She smiled, finishing off my make up. "You would never know you had bruises on your face." I turned to the mirror and gasped.

"You should be a make up artist."

"I'll take that as a compliment." I smiled up to her, standing to pull her into a hug.

"Thank you so much for listening to me and letting me open up. I really appreciate it." She hugged me lightly, making sure not to hurt me.

"Like I said, I'll always be here." She kissed my cheek gently before pulling away. "Now, let's go out to eat with the four goofballs." I laughed as I linked my arm with hers, feeling relieved getting everything off my chest.

Notes