Is this love? Or disaster

Mika-

*flashback*

I walked through the wide aisle searching for that one book thinking of him, as I saw it I was probably blushing because the things he likes makes me happy.
I reached for it on my tippy toes with another hand also reaching up to the book, I turned my head but soon turned wide eyed when I saw it was him.

"har-" I was saying his name but stopped

'I wasn't paying attention, I'd been trying to watch him from afar' I thought in my head but quickly pulling my arms down to my sides fixing my hair and twisting it at the bottom.
"I'm sorry please take the book" I looked to the ground bashfully.

"Why do you know my name?" He asked I tried to look at his face but the sunshine glowing behind him made his face look white.
'Id been watching him for three years throughout high school this is the fourth year, I decided to keep everything locked away in my heart, yet as soon as he was in front of me all my feelings poured out of me, I was desperately trying to contain it, but it was in vain'.

'I love you, I love you, I love you' I kept saying in my head but it eventually poured out of my mouth.
"I'm in love with you" realisation of what I did I tried to cover myself up.

"I- I mean- uh" but he brought his hand to the side of my cheek and stroked it with his thumb.

Back then everything was so pure.

And now 6 years later

"What?"

I Mika Williams at the age of 22 have become a totally jaded adult..

"I'm being assigned to the visual novel department?!"I said in disbelief "but...Please, I'm sure we discussed this during my interview, I told you that I was an literature editor at my previous company and that I wanted to stay in that field!" I tried to reason with the lady in front of me.

"Can you please look into it again" I was trying very desperately

"Uh well you see right here" she said holding up my résumé "Mid career recruitment of Mika Williams into the Visual Novel department at Herald Publishing" she stated and I sat in my chair a little in defeat.

"Now let me show you to the editorial department" she smiled warmly and got out of her chair walking ahead of me.

"Ready?" She turned back towards me and all I could do was sigh and follow her.

'This sucks' I thought
'I quit my last job because I wanted to work at a different company in the same field.

Why the hell am I stuck with romance novels.
"Besides isn't working in a visual department working on romance a dead end job?" I said unenthusiastically.

"That's not true" she turned her her towards me.

"It's true that that department was dead weight until recently, but since the new editor-in-chief joined last year, it's been really good, they were in the top sales" she smiled and pointed her finger upwards to show the rise in sales "and they even recived an award from the CEO" she continued stepping into the elevator as it opened.

"Really" I said uninterested following her into the empty elevator.

"And on top of that all the editors are really handsome" she gushed.

"What all the editors are male" I said a bit more interested.

"Yes there are actually quite a few female employees who have their eyes on them, at the beginning of the cycle it's like the air is filled of dreamy pheromones or something."

"Cycle?" I said confused

"You'll understand when you see it" she smiled at me nervously, this girl just doesn't stop smiling.
But to be honest I want to leave right now , but I suppose I can't really do that, I guess I'll come here for two weeks and find a reason to quit. The elevator dinged saying we've reached our floor which is the 12th.

"Excuse me" the lady called at a door in front of us.

"I'm from the general affairs department, I've brought a new employee who's starting today"

"Oh emerald? Over there he pointed to the direction and quickly went back to his work"

"Thankyou" smiled and walked to the direction and I do,lowed once again .

If I'm going to quit anyway I guess I can check out that 'amazing editor in chief, it might be helpful for me in my next company, rebuilding like this is so small feat, I'm sure he must have really grasped the way the market moved and came up with a detailed plan.

I had my eyes shut while walking down the hall and heard the lady stop and turn but she gasped?
"Nice to meet you. My name is Mika Williams , I'll be working with you starting today" yeah it must be detailed and proper introduction , I opened my eyes to see my new 'fabulous department' that I'll be working in and so only finding out why the lady beside me was so shocked.

They were all lying around on there desks looking like dead people or vegetables.

"S-sorry, it looks like there was a mistake in the cycle!" She stuttered

"G-good luck" she stuttered and walked away fasts practically running for the elevator

"Hey, wait" I called arching my arm out to her trying to be saved but she already turned the corner.

"Excuse me, the emerald editors" I called out to a worker walking pass with documents he walked passed me quickly aswell.

"Uh"

"It's not us" another walked pass with his head down.

(Why are you all avoiding me) I stood there in the entrance covering my noise from the stench wafting around me in waves, (it smells like a boys locker room) I had to stop myself from gagging and running to the bathroom.

"Ummmmm" I heard some ghost sound come behind me.

I stood frozen on the spot when I felt something sway and grab my arm making an scream come out of me.
"What..?" A male was bent over looking like a zombie.

(That's what I'd like to ask) I said to myself clutching my heart trying to calm it down.

"As of t-today I'll be working here" I tried to speak with my heart beat pounding in my ears and a cold sweat breaking down my back.

"Oh there was someone like that coming today?" He asked looking behind and around the room.

"Boz, Hazza , styles, where are you we have a new girl, are you even awake" he kept calling making all the other vegetables groan on their desks it sounded muffled because their faces were planted in the table.

"BOSS" the blonde yelled once more reviving a angry man twirling around in his chair glaring at him.

"Shut up!" He pushed his glasses back up his nose and set down a pile of papers slamming his foot on his messy desk making it echo making everyone wince but me, all I could do was stare at this stranger who seemed so familiar.

"I heard you the first time" he scolded.

(Huh) I thought to my self (this guy?! "Boss"?!" He doesn't look like a boss his curly hair is messy he is wearing a stretched out white shirt and is wearing jeans with scrappy looking shoes and he has bags under his eyes compared to me who is dressed nice and neat, obviously caring about my Appearance .

"Who's this a part timer" he looked me up and down scratching his head.
"I'm a full-time employee on contract" I said annoyed.
"Your name" he kept the tired glare he had on ever since he looked at me.
"Mika Williams" I said still annoyed.
"Oh yeah I heard someone like you was coming, please to meet you, I wasn't at the interview but I heard you have editing experience?" He asked yawning
(What the hell, what's "someone like you meant to mean)
"Yes three years at Will.publishing"
"You did visual editing?"
"Ah no I worked on literature" I said nervously (there's something about him, no no I shouldn't judge on a slip of a tongue, but)
"Huh literature?"
"Yes"
"So your completely new at visual editing" he said like he couldn't understand.
"Yes" I said once more after a long silence all he muttered was.
"Useless" and looked away disapprovingly

(This guy. Is. The. Worst) I was bothered standing there with pursed lips.

"Boss Georgia is here with her replacement manuscript, she already in the lounge" a tanned man said.

"Got it" he lifted himself off the chair with papers in his hands again.

"Follow me newbie, show me you can do your job".

"Huh, got it" he broke me out of my trance making me follow behind him my shoes making clacking sounds on the wooden floors.

"Is the replacement manuscript for this month" I asked

"Yeah" he said in a monotone voice.

"When is it going on sale again" I tried to get more information from him.

"In seven days" he said casually.

"It's hitting the shelves in just seven days?! When did they start drawing the *replacement manuscripts*" I said frantically waving my hands in front of me.

"Three days ago" we turned a corner.

(a/N *a replacement manuscript are used when the manuscripts originally intended for printing aren't completed on time- the fault of bad writing).

"Aren't there enough replacement on hand" i asked him.

"We've got a lot but they're all shitty" (seriously?!) we turned another corner people walking out of our way with their heads down.

"But if we need to use replacements then that can't be helped.." I trailed off because he gave me an annoyed glare.

"It doesn't matter whether it's an editor or an artist, but the person who only thinks of compensating with replacements.. Is an IDIOT" he put a lot of emphasis on idiot.

"Why fill the spaces with plain old rocks when you can stuff them with diamonds, that's common sense" we saw the author of the book run over to him while I was standing be phoned him looking like a scolded child.

(That may be true, but in the end it's too idealistic.)

"Thank you for your work, I'm sorry I told you it'd be impossible to finish in three days" he shook her hand after grabbing the folder.

"Oh no it's all right I had time" she blushed looking down.

"Did you bring the new drawings" he asked looking down at the drawings.

"As yes, I did as you told me" she jumped in her seat shuffling through her bag.

"About this kissing scene can you make it more dramatic?" He said pointing to a page both of their faces close together.

(Huh? He's making her redraw it, aren't the printing offices waiting?!?)

"Er like this?.." She turned the page around showing it to him.

"More like your seeing it in this angle" he dragged his finger in a direction.

"No from this perspective, you've kissed someone before right?" He asked annoyed showing her the perfect way to draw the scene

(What are you asking, that's sexual harassment) she was looking down blushing more like her whole face was a tomato.

"Isn't it find the way it is? It's already drawn very well, plus there's not enough time." I asked trying to save the poor girl

"We can still make it better"he said in a strong voice.

"Plus armatures should be quite" he chucked a side glance to me glance. (Armature) is all that rung through my mind.

"But you can't see how you're kissing someone when you're doing it yourself.." She said unsure.
While he looked of in the distance thinking.

"You've got a point" he clanked the chairs getting up.

"Alright I'll show you an example so draw it quickly" he pushed in the chair.

"Oh right you need samples right, I'll go get them where are they" I asked standing up quickly pushing my chair in, facing him waiting for the answer.

"Draw it from an angle where you can see the chin, add a kind of breezy feeling to it" he instructed her completely ignoring me.

"Um.. I still down know were I should go to get the samples." I said irked since we're so short on time, I decided to try and find them myself turning around, but something caught my arm.

"As for the title" some thing pulled me back making my hair swish around(huh? What?)

Realisation dawned on me as I realised what he was about to do.

Before I could pull away his soft lips pressed against mine on hand on the side of my head and one on my lower back.

My eyes completely were bulging out of my head in shock making me squeal on the inside hearing the author write and squeal behind me

He released me but not before looking down at my chest (that bastard) I seethed at him in my mind

"Did you get that" he looked at her me falling on the sofa in this room still in shock
"Y-yes I did" she stuttered scribbling the pencil on page
"W-w-what the hell was that!!" I finally got my voice back shouting at him.
"What do you mean" he looked at me like nothing was wrong.
" 'That' was work" he looked up at me while sitting back down.


THIS REALLY SUCKS

------
I just need to last two weeks, I probably don't have it in me, I was slumped in my chair depressed staring at my coffee talking to myself.

The things I know so far are that the emerald editing department are filled with a bunch of weirdos (employees other than departments avoid them).

They're very passionate when it comes to romance manga.

Passionate? Yeah they're very passionate enough to use themselves as models, who would've thought I'd get sexually harassed on my first day here.
I looked down at my stomach (it really hurts).

That's all I wanted to do turn a book into a word of art, it was probably because my dad was the president of a publishing company, but I've always loved books, the only thing I wanted to do was work at my dad's company, as soon as I started there was a lot of pressure from working with big Name authors but I was happy.

It takes a lot of time to publish hard covers, you ave to reach a consensus with the author, and consult them on the book design, what kind of image do you want, do you want it to come with a bookmark? What colour.

I poured my heart into making and selling books, and when a book I edited got first place in selling in the shops, I was happy, but even then.

"This months best seller is another book that Williams daughter handled" I heard people talking about me when I was getting myself a coffee from the machine.

"You're kidding again?"

"Yeah well, she's only getting here because of her parents so she has it really easy"

"You're right we've been here longer but a newcomer like her gets to work with important authors, we've been working so hard but we only get work with authors at the bottom of the barrel it's not fair."

"They're only top sellers because of the author anyway, all she does is send the manuscripts to the printing office, but she's still valued for her work it doesn't make any sense!"

"She's useless".

But, I never wanted to use my dad, all I ever wanted was to try my hardest on my own, my old self would've probably been too shocked to do anything, but at that time I felt my worth was being called into question.

That's why I should just quit this place already and go to another company where I can make a book that sells millions.

I was so angry i swear millions of veins were popping out of my head I even crushed my cup wasting my coffee.
(But in the end, this is my fault"
I slumped back in the chair next to me, (it seems that I've lost sight of who i truly am).

But it's not as through I feel this way now because of what happened with that senior.

*flash back*

"I love you Harry Mattes, I love you"

After what happened back then, I started to expect the worst in everything.

"Ha-Harry please stop it's embarrassing" I panted out a blush ran down to my neck, while sweat ran down my back, I probably looked so unattractive to him (A/N I'll leave what's happening there to your imagination ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ).

I mean isn't it better that way, then even if a situation ends up hurting you, none of the wounds will be as deep

*present*

Ahhhhh! No stop you've already forgotten what he looks like just stop thinking about that first time stop stop, right now you need to figure how to quit and switch jobs again.

"Hey" a voice close behind me scared me out of my trance

"Yes?!?" I said scared but it came out more aggravated.

"....." A silence was shared between us but all I want him to do is say sorry for the kiss and leave me be.
"Did you send the manuscripts" I asked in a sullen voice.

"Yeah we finished the work for this months issue" he talked to me, making to couch let out a puff of air as he sat down in the chair in front of me.

"So I just talked to the higher ups" he lent forward on his knees holding his cup of coffee in his finger tips.
"You're the heiress to the Will.Publishing" I looked down in alarm with a blush covering my whole face.

"I-I'm not related to that company at All" I tried to lie for myself.

"Annoyed you got assigned here when you wanted to do literature" he stood above me looking down at the top of my head almost reading my mind (you have no Idea) I thought but decided it would be a little more peaceful if I said something else.
"No, it more like.. I mean isn't this department all about love and junk like that, it's not really my thing, it's not that I have a negative idea of it, I just don't really understand it" she said grasping my mug with sweaty hands.

"If you're going to be a burden 'cause you don't want to do this' then quit , I think there are lots of people in the world who can do what they like at their jobs" I looked up at him ignoring the blush on my face gritting my teeth in annoyance.

"But that's .." He cut me off.

"Everyone starts out as a beginner, there's no way that your experience doing literature will be useless here"

What the.. Could he be.. Encouraging me?

"Well" he started talking again "useless people will always be useless, no matter how hard they try" he sighed like It was a sad truth coming to realisation

I'm going to kill him , I gripped my mug needing something To squeeze.

"The other guys have already gone home, so you can to"

"By the way don't call me useless my names Mika" I said annoyed standing up and popping my hip out crossing my arms.

"Oh yeah (he looked at me)"

"What" I snapped.

"Have I met you before?"

"Who knows" I scoffed.
--------
I dropped a pile of books on my new desk gathering old published ones from the shelf behind me.
This office is a garbage dump I sighed to myself rummaging through other piles.
I sat down and opened up a book.

(If I lose here it'll be the same as before, if I'm deemed useless after I try my hardest then that's my own fault, but being deemed useless when I haven't even started Is something I can't allow.. I'll show him what I can do"

Notes

Okay I have been writing and proof reading this the best I could it's now 2:48 am right now and I had started this around 4:31pm I really hope you enjoy this but don't be hoping for another chapter like tomorrow because this shit takes time.

just keep reading lovelies

-Pxx