LOST AND STILL FINDING(larry stylinson)
It doesn't feel right. I can hear his heart even in a crowd so loud. His skin is cold but still it feels like its going to burn. His shirt is undone. His jacket seems a little out of place. What is it? Did he get into a fight? If he did what happened? Where it happened.?
"Louis?" I ask him lowly in the crowd of people as we're heading to the lawns. "Are you okay?"
"Yes" he nods gulping in and the hold of his hand on the hem of my shirt gets tighter.
What happened? Is he going to tell me? Because I know it. I feel it. Nothings good right now.
"Can we.." He gulps like his throat is dry, not looking at me. "Can we please leave right now? Please its late already anyway" He's panting. More like heavy breathing.
"Are you okay? Please tell me" I hold his shoulders.
"Yes.. Yes I'm fine" something about his behavior tells me he's lying.
I decided to leave. I know right now that something is off about him but he's lying to me even after me asking him multiple times already!
He didn't talk, he just kind of kept looking outside the whole time and only told me to stop at baskin robins. He even asked me what flavour I wanted. I mean that's totally weird he gets what he wants. He never asks me. And I let him buy what he wants I don't interfere. Well his choice of eating ice cream in a frozen January is OK. Not that I'm judging.
He didn't go to bed immediately like he always does. He took time which he claims that doesn't exist.
I don't know what he's doing in there because its already been more than an hour and its 8 by the clock. He doesn't take so much time in the washroom ever.
My constant to and fro in front of the washroom isn't going to help, I need to ask him, now. Even if I have to force myself because now I'm damn fucking sure he's got into something.
I walk to the bathroom door and the shower turns off. He's getting out. But I should knock still because he's been turning it on and off the past hour.
I knock, "Louis are you alright?" I ask him standing there hoping he'll tell me he's not fine.
Because he can be true to himself in front of me.
"Yeah I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute" he lied again.
I change finally and get ready for dinner because gemma is not going to wait but I don't know she's been on the phone since we've returned whispering stuff like she's planning something evil. Louis' pov
I walk out after washing the gross feels Nick gave me an hour ago but I still feel filthy, dirty or grossed out. I don't want to touch myself now. Nor do I want anybody to touch me.
I haven't cried though. It's not that serious I guess but maybe it is because this touching didn't have my consent and I feel I should cry because its bad. I feel bad from inside.
"Were you crying?" Harry's voice startles me as I turn around my heart fucking just doesn't stop thumbing against my chest. It physically pains now. I feel sick to my stomach.
"Tell me louis are you OK?" His voice sounds firm like he's angry. "C'mon say something?" He stands up from the bed and i walk to the cupboard saying nothing. I don't know what to say.
"C'mon louis tell me what is the matter?!" He grabs my wrist the same place Nick did and it hurts. I didn't notice it were a bruise now.
I flinch away whimpering a little and Harry loosens his grip his eyes worries as he holds me by my shoulders.
He needs to know I am just in a towel right now I need to cover myself up.
"Are you OK?were you crying? Because I don't feel it and you aren't answering"
"I'm good" I nod, "just a little tired I guess..these parties get me" I chuckle at the end. If Harry gets to know Nick did this he's fucking going to blow his head off.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Very. And ..." I turn around finding the tshirt to wear, "the day I cry all the good in the world will end so I better not" I chuckle.
"Really?" He beams, "you think so?"
"I believe so" I nod and his hands travel to my naked waist and he pulls me close.
I gulp in. I still feel so yuck if I could I'd still be in the shower and it doesn't matter if the water is cold, I'd still be seated. I feel sick and I don't want anybody to touch me and then there's Harry.
"Plz Harry I'm cold, let me wear my tee.." I let myself pull away from his now firm grip. But he doesn't let me.
"Let me help you with the T-shirt, uh?"
"Noo.." I whine lightly. It's so hard to say no to him why doesn't he understand?
He snatches it from my hand. "Hands up lou" he wiggles his eyebrows and I chuckle. He's so excited about helping me wear my tshirt.
I do as I'm told and he slides the tee through one arm. "Do you shave your pits?"
"Yeah... Don't you?" He slides it through the other.
"I actually get them waxed " he pulls it down and straightens it further till my torso. He smiles and bends down for a peck and pulls away quickly even before I could savour what he was doing. I step closer pulling him in and I kiss him because I need it. I need it so desperately. My hand travels to his neck but he pulls away before I could actually feel it in my nerves the taste of his lips.
"Wait.." He licks his lips, "why are you lying to me louis?" He frowns his hands hold me by my shoulders.
"About what?" I don't look at him
"About yourself. You can tell me if there's a problem. Don't hide it away. You're not good at it"
"I'm fine" I nod. I hate doing this but its for our own good. "Fucking stop doing that!" He shouts his hold on my shoulders tight. "Don't do that to my face at least" he sounds pissed.
"What should I stop?" I sound so oblivious.
"This acting...it-its not helping. Not any of us" he looks at me so annoyed that he'd shake the hell out of me if given a chance but he won't do that. Not against my will.
"I'm not acting or anything. I said I'm tired, that's it. The exhibition got me. I'm just tired okay" I say with almost no energy in me because I'm about to give up if he asks me one more time. I can't lie so much. Not to him at least.
"Fucking again!!" He pushes me away a little and I turn around to find my sweats in the cupboard and I wear them.
"You're so stubborn. Just...." He sighs when I turn around.
"Don't call me names like that and swear at me the same time" I tell him as I walk to the dresser.
"And you could do any thing you want and act like its all my fault?" He sits on the bed huffing.
"I never said its your fault and don't shout at me like that" I tell him as I take out socks from the drawer.
"Why aren't you talking to me if there's a problem? What is it? Why aren't you telling me?" He's like giving up on me. I didn't want that actually but I have no other choice.
"I said there is no problem a million fucking times already and when do we anyway talk about anything? When have we talked about anything?" I retort.
"Your just overreacting!!"
"I'm the one whose overreacting?" I laugh. "You're the one whose overreacting when I already told you a fucking times that there is no problem" I need air. I need air before this turns into a mess, a shitty gross gooey mess which wouldn't be able to be sorted out.
I'm fast on my feet to storm out of the room. I can't talk to him right now because if I do he'll know everything and everything gets ruined.
I walk into the hall and there's Gemma lying on the couch talking on her phone. I don't know if she called me or not but I heard her faintly. But anyways I enter the kitchen open the freezer and take out the tub of chocolate chip brownie ice cream I got.
I storm out of the kitchen and walk to the balcony ignoring Gemma's call for me. I seat myself on the folding chair as the cool breeze which smells of snow and rain and a little dust hits my face. It actaully feels a lot better.
"Gone deaf?" Gemma walks in. I look at her and give her a glare.
"Are you okay?" She says after a little pause and I sniffle in. I think the cold hit me and I took a spoonful into my mouth.
"Want some?" I can't answer the same question if everybody comes and asks me that if I'm okay or not
"Yeah, okay" she nods. I don't actually want it to share it with her but.
"Don't mind but I think I have a running nose and I'm afraid I might've leaked in a drop or two? Still want...?" She makes a weird face, "no thanks but I wanted to talk about harr--" don't. No not right now. I can't talk about anybody right now.
"Talk about Harry with Harry. Sorry but I'm busy with my ice cream." I'm being selfish I know. Something I hate. I'm becoming something I hate. Selfish.
"Okay.." She shrugs and walks out into the hall and I sit here dumping the chocolate ice cream into my mouth. Harry's POV Shit. What did I do? He's angry. He's angry with me and I didn't want that. But why isn't he telling me anything? I'm more than a 100% sure there's something troubling him. There is fucking something which troubled him at the exhibition and he isn't telling me even a part of it.
I'm getting so restless. Why isn't he? He's so stubborn. Is it serious or I don't know maybe I am overreacting. But shit he's never behaved that way. "Where's louis?" Gemma enters in. "I don't know he just walked out" I shrug. Did she too sense something wrong.
"Is everything between you two okay?" She seats herself beside me.
"Yeah!" I nod but I guess she didn't buy me. "Has he left the house?" I ask a bit nervous, she knows it anyway.
"No"she pats my thigh. " he's sitting in the balcony eating ice cream" what?
"He's eating ice cream? In the balcony?" I immediately turn to her.
"Yes" she nods.
"Is he going to fucking freeze himself or what?!" I stand up rushing out of the room.
"Louis?" I call for him but I know he's not going to answer me. It's fucking 10 in the night and he doesn't even know what he's doing. Freezing himself to death in the balcony.
"LOUIS!!" I shout as I enter the balcony. He's sitting there. He doesn't even turn his face to look at me. His teeth are a bit chattery. His nose is red. He's not even wearing enough clothing to cover himself up if he decided to have the whole ice cream to himself that too in the balcony.
"What are you doing here? C'mon get up!" I walk to him and give him my hand so that he gets up.
"I don't want to. I feel good" he nods turning his face to look at me, the blue of his eyes is gone. it's grey like the cold hitting both of us on the face.
"You're going to die if you sit another minute. It's snowing don't you see?" I don't want to scream at him but he's making me do it.
"If you're scared of hypothermia you can go sit in. Otherwise I don't mind" he takes a spoonful of ice cream. I'm siting there I don't know what to say to him. He's not going to listen to me anyhow. No matter what I say he's going to do what he wants to do.
"Want some?" He offers me.
"No but thanks" I nod sitting there shivering off to my bones and he's like taking spoonfuls of ice cream into his mouth.
"No, here have some!!" He offers me a bite on the spoon gesturing it towards me.
I don't know if I should decline it or not. I have to take the bite. I move forward holding his wrist to bring it to mouth. Shit it so cold. My teeth. Shit.
"Look at your face!" He laughs lightly shrugging into his seat his fringe on his forehead entering his eye. I might've actually died today wanting to hear his laugh because he's not giving me what I want.
I reach out to shift his fringe off his eye and his face turns stiff. Like he's scared or something. Is he scared of me? Did I do something? Did I do something to hurt him? Is it me that he's behaving this way?
He slouches into the chair taking another bite and my eyes fall into his wrist. What the hell. Why is there a bruise?
"Louis'?" I shift closer to him, "what is this?" I takes his hand in mine. Shit. Why is that bruise there? Who did he fight? Who did this?
"Who did this Louis?" I look at him but he looks away. I'm going to snap if he doesn't answers this time.
"Don't fucking lie now!!" I shout "don't!" Just tell me who did this.?" I didn't want to do this but he is forcing me now. He flinches a little and his face turns soft. His eyes crinkle at the corners. He frowns.
"Louis'? C'mon. Don't hide it" I say a bit soft my hands reaching his shoulders.
I feel so bad for Louis but I feel worse for Harry. Ughh its my story and I feel bad for both of them.. Anyways a long chapter for my lovelies!! Enjoy!
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