LOST AND STILL FINDING(larry stylinson)
The party was going hard. Everybody was loving it. I've never had such a nice time drinking though I usually do that every single night. Nobody knew about it. Not even zayn. And I was glad he didn't. He anyway always keeps himself worried just because of me. And I don't want that especially right now. I drink only because it makes me feel better and as I pass out later it actually makes my pain escape but not completely.
Every night the same thought. Same feelings. Same moments kill me from inside. Its like someone's always there to make u hollow. And I think there isn't anything left inside me now that this has been happening with me for the past 3 years and I am kind of used to the feeling but every time that cold liquid hits my throat the feelings are just so new every single time. We all had almost had 6 to 7 bottles of that top class wine. It was actually a shock for me to see Louis drinking so much.
I don't know if he actually drank or not but probably something did not feel right. Suddenly a wave of concern hit me in my head for him. As I was slouching on the bean bag I stared at Louis talking and taking in sips from the bottle. I liked how he just simply got along with all of us.
The liquid inside me today made me feel something different. But I liked it. Taking in sips from the bottle I kept staring at Louis. He just looked adorable today. The way his lips moved slow as he talked those words which I couldn't hear over the loud music but just staring at him made me so relaxing and it felt like so soothing inside. I would trace my eyes right up from his forehead to his ocean blue eyes and to his nose and then stop at those soft pink lips.
I could sit here for hours and stare at the gods most beautiful creation I've seen. And my subconscious said that I might never want to see anyone else. I suddenly started to hate every body except for him. I saw every body seated beside him drinking and laughing and talking and randomly standing up in between to dance on the music. As my eyes were trailing down his lips every moment that passed was so slow my eyes went on to look at those deep blue eyes for the hundredth time. And every single time I looked at them it told me like there was something inside in him that he was hiding and somehow it was troubling him.
I was just so curious to know that. From the first time I locked my eyes with him I've always wanted to know what troubled him. While I was staring suddenly I think he got to know I was staring at him and his eyes turns towards me straight and locked with me. The one thing I wanted to happen since I started staring at him. His facial expression suddenly dropped and the smile faded away. I think that made him conscious and I think I intimidated him. There was a sudden flow of blood on his cheeks and he broke that connection with me and got up from the couch in a weird manner as he put the bottle down on the side table and brushed down his shirt as he walked into the other room which had the bar.
My eyes followed him all the way as he walked past me. I got up and followed him. I saw him standing at the bar counter and thinking something. "you need something???" I ask and that shook him a little as he turned around leaning back on the counter as he folded his arms.
"No not really....umm where's the bathroom?" he slurs. He had had too much. "The second door on your left" I tell him. He starts to walk trembling on his own feet. He must've only taken a few more steps as he stumbled and fell a little but before he could literally be on the floor he managed to stand up straight.
"Do u need help?" why am i so stupid? Shouldn't I just go and hold him. that was nothing to ask. So I walk forward to him as I went and held his upper arm.
" I'm fine" he slurs and pushes me away as he walks forward and stumbles again but before i could say anything he began," I'm fine..u can leave" he commands as he stood up straight and walked faster as he opened the door to enter into the bathroom as he slams it shut.
Was he usually so rude and weird when he was drunk? I don't really know. As I was about to leave the room I heard weird sounds coming from the bathroom. The sounds told me like he was not well. He was wasted I guess.
Shit. The sounds totally told me he was puking. I hurried to the bathroom door and I knocked on it nervously, "you fine Louis?" But he gave no reply only those pukey noises he made. I got worried and it tensed my nerves. I was not very used to such situations but I think I may handle it. "Louisss" I screamed this time banging the door hard," answer me" I banged again.
"I told u to go away" he finally replied from behind the door but not with what I expected. " 'M not leaving,tell me are u fine?" I screamed again as I leaned my head against the door.
"Goooo"he yells behind. His voice a bit shaky. How can I? Was he serious? I was not leaving. He got me worried and he was annoying me at the same time. He was acting so rude and careless and that what made me worried. He was sassy but not rude in that manner. I was not leaving. I walked out of the room to call liam. He immediately gets up
"What happened?" He came to me as the smell of wine hit me. "Come here" I gestured him as he follows me in the room. "He got wasted and now he's puking" I told him. My worried tone really sounded bad as I could see his facial expressions changing.
"Were is he?" he asks me as I got him worried too. "In there" I gestured as we rush to the bathroom door. As he was about to knock. I stopped him. "Just break open the door" i tell him. He looked at me with confusion but he understood what I meant. "Fine" he says as he steps back and makes enough space between him and the door. He was quite muscular than me so it was good I called him. He runs and bangs into the door making a loud noise of the door opening thud. What I saw was something I had pictured in my head and that is what got me worried so much.
I rushed inside my bathroom to Louis as I saw him lying unconscious beside the shitting pot as his head hung back and leaned against the wall. He looked so terrible. His eyes were shut and I could hear him make low whimpers under his breath. I sat down on the floor as I crossed my legs in Indian style not even caring that the floor was wet that he had tried to wash his hands by the sink.
I was myself drunk and my head was blank as if I didn't know what was happening. My head was pounding but nothing seemed to be more important than him. I pulled him slowly towards me as i rested his head on my thigh. My hands patted him on the cheek gently not trying to hurt this fragile creature. But when he did not even flutter his eyes after my first pat, strong sense of terrible feelings ran through me.
A lot of things were right now running through my head and I deeply wished none of them to be true. " here use some water, it might help" liam says as he hands me some. I sprinkled on his eyes but he didn't budge. I had nothing else rather than getting more tensed.
" harry let me call 911" liam suggests so calmly. Is he stupid? Can't he see? This is not a moment to be calm.
"No" I disagree as I slide my right had under louis' thighs and the left under his neck. "We're directly going to the hospital" I shout as I got up trembling realizing I was drunk but I did not care. I rush out of the bathroom swaying through the door carefully not to try to hit Louis anywhere. I run through the room as liam overtook me and opened the glass door. Immediately I see zayn and naill getting up as they panicked. There was no time that I could explain anything to them. I rush out as they all follow me calling out for me. "Niall you're not that drunk plzz drive for me" I plead and he runs down through the stairs of the building not waiting for the elevators. The door of the elevators took more than the life I spent to open so that I could be a little faster. when we got down to the garage I saw all 3 of them waiting. Niall was in the car honking for me to hurry up and climb in. I rushed as fast as I could to the car as i curled Louis closer to me so that there was enough space for both of us.
As the door bang shut niall pulled out and our car ran. My heart could be out any moment. My head was still thumping and my feet were shaking. I had never been so panicked and nervous all my life. As I looked down at creature in my arms my heart started to beat faster than it already was. I looked down at his lovely face but right now it looked pale.
He smelled of sweat and vomit. But with every moment passing my heart beat just went on pacing. My stomach was shivering as i held him closer to me. There was silence inside the car but niall begins his voice a bit too calm but worried," don't worry he's just a bit hungover" he glares once at me and then back on the road.
I know what he was saying was correct but with thoughts that covered my mind I could only think of something worse. But I totally wish my thoughts never come true and what niall says is just it. "Thanks niall u know 'm not just used to such situations" my voice was shaky but I was fine. "We're here" niall tells me and glides the car just in front of the great entrance door. I jump put carefully curling up Louis again,he was still unconscious. I run into the foyer and then directly into the reception.
"Where's Dr. John??" I shout. "Where's Dr. John???" I repeated wen the receptionist didnt luk up at me. "Sir there's a decorum we follow, u need to remain calm,dis is a hospital and the doctor's busy in a surgery" she tells me in a poise manner.
"Hey buddy calm down , ......cmon here's the stretcher put him in" niall drags it to me. I put Louis very gently and carefully on."Are u people calling the doc or I go n barge in the ward?"
"To the room the Dr will meet u there" she says calmly.She said nothing more and took away Louis. I let her do coz I know they wouldn't harm him in any way more than I did tonight. I went back at the reception.
Niall holds me by my shoulders from the bk and carries me to some seat. " it will be fine, its not a big deal he's just passed out" he says soothing my upper arms. "Are u kidding me, that totally does not look like he's hung up" I snap away his hands as those words hit me too bad.
My hands brushed through my hair putting some strands behind my ear as I tried to convince myself that it wasn't my fault but it was mine.
I've always hated hospitals. Always. Since childhood. They gave me nightmares when I was a kid. I thought they were like traps where they bring in people and trap them and give them medicine to kill them slowly. After that incident I've hated hospitals more. This hospital knows me coz of my dads charity work and huge donations he made, while I was admitted here. I never wanted to return here coz I know nightmares are the only things I would end up with.
"Hey harry whats d matter???" Dr john came rushing towards me as he was removing his surgical gloves and shoved them into his white coat. "Thank you doc" I immediately Stand up and rush toward him.
"There's nothing up with u right?" he assures and I nod.
I tell him, my only trusted doc in this whole city who had operated me, as we rushed through the long corridor of the hospital and the changing of corridor and finally reaching the room where they took Louis.
"Don't worry let me examine him" and he enters the room and I follow him but I was stopped by the nurse," sir you need to wait outside,u can't enter" she tells me as she gestures me to take step back and I do. As the door shut in front of me so did my eyes and the my thinking process. My hands brushed through my face and hair. I did not know what to do and where to go. A few minutes later I heard liam and zayn whispering.
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