Reviews w/ dontjockmystyles

1. Grammar and Spelling.
Your grammar, and spelling is great. You include great vocabulary which describes your story well, and helps a reader with a broad vocabulary to understand more. As I read your first chapter, I hadn't seen any spelling mistakes. I give you credit on that. So great work.

2. Length of Chapters.
Your first chapter (which is all you wanted me to read) Was quite medium sized. Although it seems long on here, it could only be about 600 words or less. Which could leave a reader with cliffhangers that are truly unnecessary. Sometimes after too many short chapters, a reader can get bored, and not want to read it anymore. Other than that, the chapters aren't extremely short, so if you take my review to heart adding a few extra words every few chapters would do a great deal!

3. Exposition.
The detail in the story is . . . eh. I do like the story line. Which i will explain in the next number. I feel your story has no exposition, just a few clips, and snippets. If you delved into adding more detail, and emotion; a reader may find it easier to conform into the character. Which I believe helps add edge, and attachment to your character. Therefore making a reader want to subscribe and read more.

4. Story Line.
I do like your plot, I think it has a lot of potential. I just think your rushing it. While I was reading it, it was kind of all smashed in. A proper story would let readers get little tidbits, so i feel like dedicating a whole chapter to her fame, then another to slowly introduce her infamous brother. Readers would get to know a little bit more about Audrey rather than 'Harry Styles little sister'. I can't pick at your story too much, it is a great plot, and i think it can get loads of views, and subscribers if you take some of my advice. Other than that, you did a great job.
5. Summary.
To be quite honest, I felt you gave away too much. It was sort of like And I am this, and then this is going to happen, and did you know my brother is Harry Styles? And i'm going to fall in love with a band member, but maybe two? I feel like that's how you portrayed your story. If you read my summary on Abhor, it will give you a glimpse of what you should write as a summary. I am not boasting about my story or it's summary, but i feel like giving too much away will make some readers roll their eyes, and go click on another story. Besides that, I like the cliffhanger quote at the end by Depp

6. Rating
I did like your story, and I hope you continue this story. It does have potential ! I rate your story about an 8-8.5. I gave you a 9 on your actual story!

Notes

xoxo dontjockmystyles

Lia xx.