Dark Side (Harry Styles) HOLD

Harry's mouth dropped open in shock as he turned to look at her, cupping his sore cheek. [

Her eyes weren't wide in surprise, she didn't look remotely sorry for what she did, in fact – Lux looked calm. He couldn't believe she just slapped him, although... he did deserve it. If he were
in her shoes, he probably would have thrown a punch instead.

“Lux, I... I didn't mean that..” He muttered, his jaw unhinged in shock over the slap.

“You seem to say a lot of things you don't mean lately.” She said, trying to unclench her teeth but just ending up clenching them tighter. Her fists turned into balls at her sides, her nails digging into her skin roughly and she wondered how hard she'd have to press for it to bleed.

At that thought, she released her fists, letting out a long, slow breath and looking into Harry's eyes again.

“I don't ever want you to touch me again.” She said slowly, her eyes narrowing in anger as she turned and began to storm away from him. She got as far as the adjoined kitchen door when Harry plucked her back by the hood of her sweater, spinning her around and back to face him.

“Lux, don't do that.. you know I didn't mean that..” He said, his voice on the verge of pleading.
How could he have been so stupid and said those things? He knew what they would do to her, and he said it anyways. That's exactly what you wanted.. A voice in the back of his head
whispered to him. You've always wanted to push her as far away from you as possible.

“I'm trying to fight this, Lux.” He admitted, looking down at the angry face she was making and wanting to kiss it off of her.

“I'm trying to fight the.. the voice inside of me that tells me to push you away. I'm trying to fight the version of me that says stupid shit to you like that.. and.. and I just want to be good for you, but I can't and I'm...”

He stopped, his eyes wide and shining, and he looked into hers which softened as he spoke like they always did. She was such a sucker for him, no matter what he did to her she would always forgive him.

“You're what?” She asked, waiting for him to continue, her eyebrows raised.

“I'm scared!” He snapped, backing away from her the slightest bit. Harry looked over her face for a reaction of some sort before he continued. Her face was blank. “You.. scare me.”

“Why?” Lux asked, a simple question really, but it held the answers to everything that made Harry who he was. It would answer why he was scared, who hurt him, what happened to make him cold, how long he's been this way... she needed these answers before she could open herself up to him further.

“Why?” He repeated, as if he couldn't quite grasp the question she was asking.

“Yes, why? Why are you scared of me? I'm a 5'6” scrawny blond girl. I am nothing to be scared of. I've never given you any reasons to be scared of me.” She said, shaking her head as she spoke. “And if you can't answer this question the way you should answer it, then I'm gone, and I'm not coming back.”

“Are you threatening me?” He asked dubiously, his eyes wide.

“No...” She shook her head again, “I'm just telling you that I can't do this anymore, and unless I start getting something back from you, I'm going to walk away from this, whatever this is.”

“So, you are threatening me,” He laughed weakly, “how did I not see this coming?”

“What are you talking about now, Harry?” She sighed heavily, rubbing her forehead.

“You can't force someone to talk about their past, no matter how badly you want to know about it, no matter how badly you want to fix me, Lux, you can't force it out of me. You expect me to be ready to tell you whenever you snap your fingers at me but that's not how it works.

I tell you when I'm ready to, and if I'm never ready then I'm neverready and that's that. I thought you were smarter than this, I figured you'd be more patient with me... but I guess not, huh? You want me all now or not at all, well, you get nothing then.” He huffed out harsh breaths when he was done speaking, and he noticed that the only change in her face were the tears as they streamed down her cheeks.

Nothing else moved. No emotion, no blinking... just the tears, falling where they may.
“You're right.” Lux murmured finally, staring down at the ground for a second before raising her eyes up to meet his. They were still streaming with tears, but she didn't even bother wiping them away.

“I should have known better than to expect you,of all people, to give me the same amount of effort that I've been giving you. I don't know why I thought you would tell me anything when its clear you don't want to let anyone into your life that's not already there. I thought I could force my way in, but I guess not, because look where that got me. I'm standing here, crying,” She touched her cheek lightly at this point, looking down at the tears on her fingertips, “feeling things for you that I didn't think were possible to feel. But no, you're right. This was all just.. stupid of me. You live in another country, you're too closed off, I'm too fragile and frankly, I have better things to worry about other than a boy.”

It was the emphasis on the word boy that made him stumble backwards away from her, looking as if she just slapped him again. There it was, her using the only thing she had against him and using it well. Lux knew how he hated being treated like a child, she didn't know why he hated it, but she knew he hated it enough to know it would hurt him in this war, possibly enough for her to win.

“We're done.” Harry spit the words out harshly, still backing away from her, shaking his head as he finally turned his back to her so he could leave.

“How can we be done when we never even started?” She whispered the question, her voice breaking, and he stopped briefly at the sound of his Lux coming through this cold robotic version she had become. “You never trusted me enough to start anything. I have been pulling and pulling at you, and all you've been doing is resisting me and pushing me further and further away.”
He turned his head to look at her when she inhaled shakily, a noise he knew she made when she was crying, and sure enough... there she was.

Standing before him in his hoodie, her face red, angry, sad and wet. She always looked the most radiant to him when she was pissed off.

“All I wanted was you, all of you, and you refused to give yourself to me..”

Harry couldn't help himself and turned to face her fully, taking a slow step forward as if he were going to comfort her. She stumbled backward when he did, shaking her head at him, wiping her tears.

“I've been waiting for you for a long time, even before you showed up here I've just been waiting for someone like you to come into my life and turn it around. I think a part of me will always be waiting for you.” Lux whispered, and they both felt the same gut wrenching pain in their chests and stomachs.

It was that last line that made him feel a breaking in his heart, like the ice around it was cracking slowly, dripping down into his stomach. He felt himself begin to thaw, a feeling he usually only experienced when he was actually touching Lux.

This time, he felt it just looking at her.

“I think we should both go.” She whispered, “This whole situation isn't good for either of us.”

Harry felt himself nod in agreement, but he still couldn't make his legs move in the direction of the door. The only way his legs wanted to carry him was toward Lux, so instead of embarrassing himself by following her out, he stayed still, watching her turn and leave.

When she was gone, he stumbled backward until he hit the couch, plopping down into it and exhaling slowly. His eyes found the coffee table, and he saw a huge puddle of melted ice cream around the carton and 'Harry + Lux' melted down to nothing but black smears.




Just like their 'relationship', it was a big mess Harry was left to clean up.

Notes

Hey guys sorry it's been so long since ive updated but school ended recently and then I went to Disney World which was amazing and I didn't bring my laptop, nor did I have time. I'm not sure how many updates I'll get in tonight but it will at least be a double update!