After a couple of minutes I feel calmer and decide to go back down to Harry, he must be starting to wonder where I was. I walk in a haze down the stairs and through the mass of people talking and dancing around the house. My eyes dart all around me as I walk, making sure that I don't bump into Louis anywhere. I can't believe what just happened, why do I feel such a strong attraction to him? I don't even know him. He actually seems like a jerk if you ask me.

I stop by the kitchen to grab a beer before I walk out into the expansion of the backyard and see Harry still sitting with the others, talking. I exhale as I see him laughing, he doesn't seem to notice me being gone so long. I stop in my tracks though when I see Louis sitting just a couple of seats down from Harry. Louis looks up just at that moment, seeing me stop. His eyes shows some emotion that I can't pin down, but his face is dead before he turns back to his friends. Harry sees me then and give me a big smile, so I walk over to him and he pulls me down on his lap again.

“Where have you been?” He ask, wrapping his arms around me. Apparently he had noticed my absence.

“Sorry, there was a line.” I say and take a sip from my beer as I feel Louis eyes on me and Harry. I can't bear to look his way. It makes me a little unsettled though that he is watching us.

“It's okey, you didn't miss much.” He chuckles. I smile down at him before taking another sip of the beer, what happened outside of the bathroom really sobered me up. The beer feels good running down my throat. I look around the table and see a couple of new people sitting with the group. My eyes accidentally meet Louis piercing ones when I look around the table and I can't tear my eyes away. His eyes are very mesmerizing and make me feel hypnotized. My heart starts to beat faster in my chest as I see the corner of his mouth turn up in an sly smile. I blush a little and turn my head quickly away, I won't let him see how much he affects me. I wrap my arm around Harry's shoulder and he smiles at me, but continues to talk to his friend on the other side.

I play with the hair in the back of Harry's head and cozy myself into him. I can feel Louis eyes on me several times during the night, but try my best to ignore it. I talk to Harry and his friends that sits on our side of the table, so that I don't have to turn in Louis direction. It's so weird and I really don't know how to handle it. I've never gone through anything like this, I haven't even had a one-night stand before him. Argh! It's frustrating.

When I'm tired of feeling his eyes on me and I've had a beer too many, I ask Harry if we can leave. I can't stand to be here anymore. The tension in my body is too exhausting. Harry has no problem with leaving, it's after midnight anyway. He has only drank two beers, since he was driving. We say goodnight to the others and I get well wishes and hopes to be seen again. They were all very nice and it felt good to have met Harry's friends.

He leave me on the porch to get the car that's on a side street since it's started to rain. He's a gentleman in that way, making sure that I don't get too wet. I smile a little, leaning against the railing and listening to the pattering of rain against the roof of the porch. Soon I feel uncomfortable though and get the feeling that someones watching me. I turn around to find Louis leaning against the wall beside the door, looking my way. I quickly turn around, ignoring his presence, trying to make it seem like I don't care that he stands there. It's hard though when I feel my palms starting to sweat. Can Harry please hurry up.

I feel him coming nearer before stopping right behind me. I can hear his breathing and feel the warmth of his body against my back. The door to the house is closed and I can only hear the low muffling of music, otherwise it's quiet. I keep my eyes glued on the house across the street, making sure that my breathing doesn't expose my nerves. I see Harry's car come around the corner and up the driveway. Thank god! He opens the door and then the backdoor to get out an umbrella.

“Does he make you scream like I did?” I hear a whisper right in my ear and my breathing stops mid breath. I can feel my face heating up to a total red color. What the hell? He runs a finger down my spine before walking down the stairs and saying goodbye to Harry as he walk up to me. Louis turn around when Harry has his back toward him and give me a smirk before heading off. I thank the lord that it's dark out and Harry can't see the humiliating color on my face. I take deep breaths to calm down my erratic heart as we walk down the little path to the car. Harry opens my door and then run around the car to get in himself. I stare out of the windshield as he starts the car and drive towards the city. Why did he do that?

---

I started dating Joe just a couple of months after I moved to London. We met at club when my friend Rob tried to hit on him. It actually was hilarious. Rob say that he has the best gay-o-meter and that he knew that that perfect sculpted guy was gay. He wasn't. His friends laughed along with us girls, sitting on a table nearby. I met Kelley one day when I walked into the small bookstore where she works. We clicked directly and she was so interested in me and where I came from. She insisted that I should meet her friends and that was when I met Noelle and Rob. They are all very easy to be around and very sweet people. I wouldn't say that I'm as close to them as I am to Lea, but they are good friends and very fun to hang around with.

Anyway, I started to talk to Joe after Rob had realized that he couldn't make this poor guy gay. After the shock had run off, he thought it was funny too and we started talking. He was a really sweet guy, very caring and funny. We exchanges numbers and it only took him teen hours before calling and asking me out. A month later we were a couple. It went fast and I fell hard for him. He was so sweet and kind, making me feel at home in the city. He showed me around and guided me to where the best coffee shops were and where to shop for the best shoes. I had fun with him.

It was after a couple of months that he told me he loved me, it was no romantic gesture about it, it slipped out in the middle of a sentence and scared the hell out of me. I had never been in love before and the thought seemed big and scary. I hadn't answered anything to him and I know that it hurt him, but I couldn't say it without meaning it and at the time I didn't know if I did. I didn't talk to him for a couple of days after that, I layed in my bed, wondering insanely on what I should say. Should I tell him I loved him too? It wasn't until I talked to my, at the time, new friend Lea about it that I realized what I should do. She said that if I had to think that much about it, then maybe I wasn't in love with him. She was right. I think I was more scared of how to end the relationship and that made me trying to force myself to say that I loved him just so that I wouldn't hurt him. That's me in a nutshell, doing everything not to hurt people. I apparently didn't care if I hurt myself instead.

I realized though that I needed to hurt him, I couldn't live in a fake relationship just because I didn't want to wound him. It was hell! I was so nervous when I walked up the steps to his apartment. He was so happy when he saw me, even though the smile had an edge to it. He knew something was up, but not what and he probably soon after wish he didn't know. It was the most horrific day of my life. He cried and that was heartbreaking. A guy crying is the worst thing in life if you ask me. Us girls are often a little more sensitive and starts to cry easier, but when a guy cries – then you know that it's sad for real.

After that I didn't think that I wanted to meet another guy for a long, long while. I didn't want to hurt anybody and didn't think that I was ready for a real relationship. I realized later that I had never been in love with Joe, it had been a fantasy to find that british prince charming, the one, right when I moved here. After a couple of months though Lea got sick of me being bitter and horny (her words), and set me up with Harry. Now here I am, dating again. And that's scary!

Harry has a weird hold over me, he knows what I think before I say it and know how he's going to get me to do something. Like now, he asked if I wanted to come with him to hang with the lads, the band. You know what that entails – Louis. I tried my best to decline, but honestly I didn't have a good enough excuse and he knew that. I didn't have work this evening and Lea was working, so he knew that I was alone, mostly because we had decided to hang before these plans. It's not like I could tell him that I didn't want to because I've slept with his best mate and it felt weird to see him. Argh!

I pulled the black jeans up and the boots on. I tried not to worry about him being there tonight, I would focus on the other guys, getting to know them better. I pulled my hand through my hair, untangling the knots that had created in my hair. I looked myself in the mirror as I was done and sighed when I saw my eyes. I looked too nervous. I shook my head and tried on a smile, feeling so fake. I groaned load. My phone buzzed with a message that Harry was outside. I checked my hair one more time and ignored my horrid expression and walked out to the waiting car.

“Hey Pooh bear!” I greet as I jumped into the car.

“Hi Piglet!” He greet me back and we both laughed. We've been doing this for the last week, greeting each other with children books characters. Don't ask me where it came from, it just started and we've been keeping it going. I think it started with a discussion on couples nicknames for each other and how they often are too cheesy, like pooh bear. But it's fun. Beside I love to see those dimples on his cheeks as he smile. He has a very infectious smile.

“So are all the guys going to be there?” I ask, trying to sound innocent with my question, but hoping that a special someone might not show up.

“Yes, it'll be fun.” Damn! He give me a sweet smile and I try to give one back that doesn't give away my nervousness. I feel my pulse pumping hard in my veins though. I wonder how it will be when there are so little people around us, will he try something? He can't really do that without the others noticing.

Harry stops the car outside of the big apartment building that I remember as Liam's. He comes around and put his hand at the small of my back as we walk into the foyer and over to the elevator. I feel so nervous that I don't even appreciate the amazing foyer this time. I feel my stomach turning as we stop at the top floor. I take a deep breath before we get off and go over to the door and Harry knocks on it. Liam opens the door with a grin. He looks good in beige pants and a grey t-shirt.

“Hey guys! Come on in.” He say and we follow him side to the living room, where I haltered the last time and ran out off. This time it was only Niall sitting on the couch and I didn't see any of the other guys yet. I smiled kindly at Niall as he stood up to give me a kiss on the cheek and Harry a pat on the back. I sat down close to Harry on the couch, making sure that he didn't release my hand. I needed his unknown support right now. He wasn't aware of it, but I couldn't be left alone if Louis walked in. Harry made me calm, or at least calmer. Who knew how I would react if I hadn't him here.

“Would you like something to drink?” Liam offered us after we'd sit down.

“I'll take a beer.” Harry said and looked at me with a questioning gaze.

“I'll just have a water, thank you.” I said and felt Harry squeeze my hand and I looked over at him with a smile. He let go of my hand, making me freak for a minute, before he put his arm around my shoulder instead. I relaxed into him and breathed out. This was not going to go well. I was too tense and Harry was starting to notice. His hand was lightly massaging my shoulder where his hand were laying. Pull yourself together Juli!

“So did you have fun last night?” Liam ask as he hands me the bottle of water.

“Yeah, it was a great party.” I smile kindly at him as he sits down on the chair beside the couch. I like him, he seems calm and serious. He has a kind smile and an tranquil aura around him.

“Was Jess there?” Niall ask and they start to talk about someone I have no idea who it is. I take a sip of my water and almost choke on it when Louis jumps trough the door. Zayn walks in behind him. The guys shouts they greeting and Niall shout in excitement as Zayn throws a couple o bags with chips on the table.

“Hey, nice to see you again.” Zayn says as he walks up to me and I stand up, giving him a smile after he kiss my cheek. These guys and kissing. I flush a little as usual. Will Louis kiss my cheek? My heart starts to hammer a little in my chest.

“You too.” I say and when Zayn step back, I see that Louis had sat himself down on the couch opposite to our, so I sit down too, feeling a little relieved.

“Hey Lou, you've met Juli right?” Harry say, putting his hand on my back.

“Yeah, we met last night at the party. Right?” Louis say and fixating his eyes on mine with one eyebrow up, making me blush.

“Yeah.” I mumble and wonder how many noticed. He gives me a sly smile and I hear Zayn ask Harry something, but my heart is beating so hard in my chest that all I hear is my pulse in my ears.

This night is going to be horrible.

Notes

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Thank you so much for you comments! They make me happy, keep them coming!

Do you think she can fake it when Louis is near?
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