His Bandmate

I lie silent as I watch the room get painted orange from the settling sun outside. My mind feel empty for the moment, just content to lie here and not think. The only movements comes from the chest that my head is resting on, the small circles I'm drawing on that chest and the top of his fingers lightly running up and down my arm. My arms are filled with goosebumps and they doesn't seem to get away. I'm not complaining, because it feels really good. Every breath is filled with the wonderful smell of Louis. It's such a good and desirable smell.

The thought about what just happened in the last couple of hours starts to run through my head. How we undressed each other while desperately making out. How he thrusted deep into me making me scream out loud. How his lips kissed down my throat, nibbling on my earlobe and cover my skin with small love bites. How I moaned his name over and over again as he increased speed. I feel my cheeks flush a little at the memories. I doesn't regret anything, but still. Hadn't we decided to just be friends? Wasn't this what really couldn't happen?

“What the hell are we doing?” I whispered while sighing. His movements stopped for a second, probably a little shocked by my words since it's been quiet for the past half hour or so. I feel his quiet chuckle inside his chest as his hand continues it's slow movements of his hand against my arm.

“I don't know.” He say after a while, his voice sounds sad and confused. I can't really understand why I can't stay away from him, it shouldn't be that hard. “What do you want to do?” He asks after a minute and I close my eyes. I don't want to answer that, I don't want to confess my true feelings for him. Not since I don't know if this is just physical for him. I shrug and bite my lip, knowing that he can't see my face. I look down his body, seeing his stomach and the sexy v-line down his hips, ending with the sheet. I know his naked under it and that makes my stomach tingle a little.

“All I know is that I don't want to stay away from you.” He confesses after a quiet moment and his voice is soft and low. I feel my cheeks turn pink as I turn my head and lean my chin against his chest. He's looking down at me and his hand rest on the small of my back. He nervelessly bites his lover lip, making his chin turn up a little in a very cute way. We lock eyes for a little while and I feel myself zoning out for a little while, just seeing his teeth press against those full lips, before I remember what he just said. He doesn't want to stay away? Does that mean he likes me?

“What do you want to do?” I ask, putting my hand under my chin, my arm resting on his chest. I feel my heart start beating a little quicker and hope that he doesn't notice.

I see his eyes hesitate, I think he doesn't know how honest he can be and that makes me feel flutters in my stomach. His eyes shows so much emotion even though I think he's trying to hide it, though I'm not sure of what their leaning against. I look down on his chest, letting my fingers make small patterns on his chest. I feel like I need to do anything just to not show how much I want him to confess his feelings for me. How presumptuous doesn't I sound? Why should he have feelings for me? I'm an easy fuck, that's what I am. I feel my cheeks turn hot as that thought hits my head. What if that's the only reason he's here? Like he's just interested in my body. That would hurt. That would hurt real bad. I close my eyes, just to make sure that my emotions doesn't show. I feel his breathing underneath me and they seem uneven.

I jump a little when I feel his other hand reach my cheek and lightly takes a strand of hair and push it behind my ear. His hand rest on my cheek and I lean into his hand, loving the touch. I slowly open my eyes when he starts to talk.

“I wanna see where this goes.” He says low, his thumb running over my cheekbone. I swallow hard. He does? “I like you.” He whispers. I feel my heart jump an extra beat at those words.

“I like you too sometimes.” I confess. His brows frown and his eyes narrow at me. “When you're not an asshole.” I add and smirk. The corner of his mouth starts to pull upward in a huge grin.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” He chuckles. His hand continues to slowly run over my cheek. “But I'm really trying.” He say after a moment, no longer laughing and his eyes show deep sincerity. I move my hand up to caress his cheek, feeling a light stubble under my palm.

“I know.” I whisper. I do know that, deep down. He has been acting a little nicer for the most part this past weeks. “But how should we do this?” I ask, biting my bottom lip. The thought about telling Harry scares the hell out of me. Louis looks me deep in the eyes before his thumb moves over to lightly pull on my lip to make me stop biting it.

“How about we keep this to ourself for now? Just to make sure that it's right and what we want. Then we can figure out how the hell to tell Styles.” He say, looking into my eyes, making sure that his words doesn't hurt my feelings. They probably should, him wanting to keep me a secret, but they don't. They make me calm. It would suck really bad if I told Harry and then a week later or something I realized that Louis wasn't someone I wanted, though I highly doubt that will happen. I feel more for him every time I see him. But then I would have hurt Harry unnecessarily and I don't want that. He's my best friend, I never want to hurt him. I nod in agreement.

“That sounds good.” I say and he smiles sweetly before pulling me up to him and kissing me deep. I let my hands find their way up to his hair, pulling at the edges as we deepens the kiss. Wow. He likes me! How much more it feels to kiss him while knowing that. Every nerves in my body give out a wonderful sensation and butterflies fly around my stomach.

We get interrupted by a loud rumble. I pull back and look down at Louis who starts to laugh.

“Sorry, I'm just famished!” He say and I can't keep from laughing with him. I do feel a bit hungry myself, so I pull back and sit up on the bed. He takes a hold of my arm. “Where are you going?” He ask, his face grave. I frown at his facial expression, not really understanding it.

“I'm going to see if I can fix us something to eat.” I say and see him physically relax. “If you want to stay and eat that is?” I ask, raising my eyebrows at him.

“Food sounds good.” He smiles cheeky at me and I nod, getting out of bed and pulling a pair of sweatpants on and a hoodie. I feel his eyes on me the hole time and I stuck my tongue out at him as I walk towards the door and walk into the kitchen.

I don't know what I have to offer in my fridge, but I hope that I have something. I'm so bad at keeping food in my fridge, I usually just buy what I think I'm going to eat in the next few days and nothing more. It's been a while now and when I open the fridge door, it's basically empty. A jar olives, a carton of milk that's almost empty, one old tomato and not much more. I frown and sigh.

I feel my whole body react when Louis steps into the kitchen, his presence makes itself known without him speaking.

“Does olives satisfy you? Cause it's basically the only thing I have in here.” I confess and give him a sheepishly smile as I look over at him leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen in only his jeans. He looks so damn good, his body covered with tattoos. His eyes narrows at me and I feel my stomach do a flip. Holy cow! His stares can really affect me.

“How about we order something and take the olives as appetizer?” He ask, giving me a crooked smile and walk over to me to wrap his arms around my core. The action seems weird and unfamiliar, but very nice. I like it. I rest my hands on his shoulders as I look up at him.

“Sounds good. What are you in the mood for?” I ask and he leans closer, his head closing the space between my neck and shoulder.

“Something greasy.” He say as his lips softly nibbles on the skin just under my ear, giving me goosebumps. I feel my breathing quicken instantly and he chuckles against my skin.

“Pizza?” I breath and feel his head nod.

“Pizza's perfect.” He say and pull his head back to look at me. He pecks my lips before releasing me and going towards the living room. His hand caresses the countertop on his way. “I kinda like this kitchen.” He say and smirk at me before disappearing into the living room. I swallow hard, all the memories of the first time he was here flashing through my head. That was such a hot night. How he had taken me against that countertop, it was one of the hottest things I've ever done.

I stand still for a couple of minutes before I remember that I'm suppose to call and order a pizza. I shake my head, trying to get out of that haze and pick up the menu for the closest pizza place.

When I've ordered the pizza I get out the jar of olives and walk into the living room to find Louis sitting on the couch with the TV on. He's still shirtless and my mouth waters a little at the sight on him on my couch. I sit down beside him and he pulls me close, putting my legs over his. I smile at him as he rests his right hand over my knee in his lap while the other reach for the olives.

He opens the jar and start shuffling olives into his mouth, I guess he was pretty hungry. I watch in amazement as each olive go through his lips and how his tongue lick away the remains of oil on his lips. His eyes is hard concentrated on the TV. I narrow my eyes at him.

“Don't I get a taste of those?” I ask and see the confusion in his eyes before he smiles at me, realizing that he's been a little selfish with the olives. He get an olive from the jar and feed me with it. I take it between my teeth before sucking his fingers clean from the oil. I see his eyes widen a fraction at my action and the smile on his face get bigger. “Thank you.” I say as I chew the olive and turn toward the TV with a smirk.





“Can I ask you something?” I ask, a while after we've eaten the pizza. We are now watching an old movie and have been quiet from a while, cuddling on the couch. Louis has his arm around my shoulders as I'm half-lying on him, my legs on the couch and my back against him. It's so cosy, but my mind is going in circles. I've been wondering something that I can't let go, even though I don't really want to ask.

“Of course.” Louis say and nuzzle his face in my hair.

“It's kind of personal.” I say, sighing and biting my lip. I feel very hesitant to ask him. I don't know if we're even in the place of asking personal questions yet.

“Okay? Shoot.” He say a little hesitant.

“Well...eh. I was wondering, eh...what happened with your ex?” I stutter, feeling my cheeks flush and is thankful that he can't see them since I'm facing the TV. I sense him tensing up behind me.

“Why?” He ask, his voice distant and maybe a little irritated. I immediately regret asking.

“Eh...well, Harry said something about it and I just wondered what happened between you two.” I confess.

“What did he say?” He almost spit out. I jump by the venom in his voice and turn towards him, letting his arm fall down from my shoulders.

“Nothing. Sorry I asked.” I say lean back against the couch, now sitting two feet away from him. I feel a little hurt by the anger he showed and bite the inside of my lip. The mood in the room totally ruined. Good job Juli! He sighs loudly.

“No. I'm sorry.” He reach his hand over and takes mine in his. “What did Harry say about it?” He frowns, looking down on our intertwined hands.

“Nothing really, just that that's probably the reason for your assholeness, for a lack of better word.” I say and hear his chuckles. When I look over at him his smiles fades quickly.

“Yeah...something like that.” He mumbles and staring at the TV. Is that all I get? Should I push it or just let it go? His thumb is running back and forth over the back of my hand.

“You don't have to talk about it.” I say and settle down to watch the movie. He moves closer, closing the space between us. He lays our hands in his lap before leaning his head against the side of mine. I hear the deep breathing of him and once again regret ever bringing it up. I lean into him, trying to give some silent comfort. I guess he's hurt over what happened.

“I haven't told anyone.” He whispers and I feel a shiver go down my back. He sounds so sad and destroyed. I squeeze his hand, making sure he knows that he can talk to me. “I didn't want to risk it getting out to the media, that would've destroyed me even more.” He say and I feel a light shake go through him. I don't know what the hell happened, but I kind of hate his ex for doing this to him. I can feel his pain just by sitting beside him and it hurts. I bring my other hand over our intertwined ones and hold his hand with both mine. I feel like crying right now. He takes a deep breath, the air hitting my shoulder.

“We were together for a while, I mean a long while, several years.” He starts and I already knows this, though I don't want to interrupt him. His voice is low and shaking. “Then last spring I found out that she had been cheating on me.” He whispers. “I was prepared to give her everything, my life, my soul, everything!” His pained voice makes a tear fall down my cheek. “One of my bodyguards.” His voice is filled with venom. His bodyguard? “Apparently it had been going on for a while, which hurt even more. She played with me. She messed with my feelings and made me wrap my whole word around her. She totally played me.” His voice is braking and I turn to see the tears fall down his face. I move to be able to hold him. I wrap my arms around his neck, slowly stroking his hair as he sobs into my neck. His arms wrap around my core and hold me close. I feel a few tears of mine slip down. I can't stand the pain in him, it's unbearable. Who does that to another person?

We sit like that for a long while, I just let him cry because I don't think he has done that enough since it happened. He's been bottling it up, not letting anything out, which has made this facade of an asshole come forward.

“I'm sorry.” He mumbles after a little while into my neck, the sobbing has slowed down.

“Don't be.” I say and tighten my grip on him.

When he's calmed down and his body has relax a little, I pull back to look at him. He bites his lip in uncertainty and I wipe his cheeks to get the excess of tears away. He can't look me in the eyes, so his eyes is looking down. I feel for him, because I know that guys don't normally show this much emotion, not with someone they barely know anyway. We don't know each other that well, but I'm hoping to learn to know him. This is a good start.

“I'm sorry she did that to you. But didn't I see you two at a party a while back?” I ask, remembering his hand on her back when I got to that party with Lea. He looks up into my eyes and searches them for something – what I don't know.

“Yeah. I guess I still have a weak spot when it comes to her.” He confess, looking ashamed.

“Well, forget about her. She's not worth your time. She's an idiot and you shouldn't even remember her name.” I say, feeling very irritated of this girl. Who the hell does she think she is? I hate cheaters. That's nothing I can understand. I really hate them! He gives me a weak smile as he leans back against the couch, rubbing his eyes with one hand, the other still holds my waist.

I reach over to check the clock on my phone and see that it's midnight already, I should get to bed since I'm working tomorrow. I look over at Louis who's staring at me.

“Can I stay?” He ask a little uncertain. I stand up and hold my hands out to him and he smile small and takes them in his. I turn the TV off and we go over to the bedroom. There is a little tension between us, probably because of this revealed story of the passed. We don't know each other too well and we don't know how to handle each other yet. But hopefully we can change that.

I crawl down in bed when I've finished getting ready and thrown a t-shirt over myself. I cuddle down in the pillows as I wait for Louis to come back from the bathroom. I can't believe he opened up to me this much, it feels amazing. Even though it was so hard to see him in so much pain, I'm glad he told me. It explains a lot, his behavior in general, but also the hesitancy to keep things up with me. It has to be hard to rely on someone again after getting so broken. I'm so happy that he did trust me enough to tell me. It means a lot.

He comes out of the bathroom in only his boxers and looks a little uncertain as he looks at me in bed. I hold the cover up in a motion for him to come under it. He does and I cuddle close to him, lying my head on his chest. He wraps both arms around me, holding me close. I feel us both relax as we embrace each other in silence.

Notes

Oh, this got a little emotional! I had tears brimming my eyes as I wrote about Louis. Poor thing!

What did you guys think? There was a lot emotions in this chapter. What do you think about them keeping is a secret? Are you irritated? ;) But happy they finally got together right?

Please comment your thoughts!!

xx.