I dry my hair off with a towel as I get out from the bathroom. It thursday and I feel stiff and tired, it's been a long week. I've been hanging with Harry every night this week, he won't let me be. Not that I'm complaining, he's lots of fun to be around. I just haven't had the time to think alone since I almost always fall asleep on the couch when he's here.

I pull my hoodie on and my hair up in a bun as I hear the front door open.

“Hey, where are you?” I hear Harry call from the hallway.

“In the bedroom.” I shout back, pulling a pair of wool socks on my feet. He comes in through the door and has his usual cheeky smile on.

“I couldn't decide, so I brought three movies.” He say with a goofy grin and hold up three movies in his hand. I shake my head and snicker at him.

“I guess we can watch at least two of them. I don't have to be at work until one tomorrow.” I say as we walk out into the living room.

“Awesome!” He says as he drops down in the couch. I walk into the kitchen and fetches two glasses and sodas.

“The pizza should be here any minute.” I tell him as I put the glasses on the living room table.

“Good, I'm starving.” He pats his stomach with his big hand and leans back on the couch. “So how was work?” He ask as I sit down beside him, pulling a blanket over my legs.

“Oh! It was pretty exiting. We got some new recipes for a new type of cookies.” I exclaim with a grin. I look over at him and see his raised eyebrows and him biting his lip to keep the laughter in. I press my lips together, trying to hide my amusement but starts to laugh. “Wow, my job is pathetic.” I say as we laugh together.

“Naw! You're gonna save the world with your cookies.” He teases me as the laugher subside. I gape at him and hit his arm.

“Yeah, like you're gonna sing the world to safety?” I say and narrow my eyes at him, but I can't keep from smiling.

“Yepp. I'm a siren.” He says wiggling his eyebrows at me, that goofy grin plastered on his face. I love when he's in this goofy, joking mood.

“A lot of girls are gonna be saved from that. Poor boys.” I say and shake my head.

“Well, that's all I need. We can make a new humanity me and those girls.” He say cheekily. I gape at him, he's so dirty.

“Urgh! Think of how many curly brown haired children there's gonna be. How will the world survive?” I ask with a fake disgusted expression on my face.

“Eh! You love my hair.” He say and flip it a little to the side and I chuckle.

“Yeah, on you! Not on every person on this lost planet.” I say as I pull my legs up on the couch.

“You're right. I'm not going to stand out anymore if I do that. I have to come up with something else to do if the world comes to an end.” He looks deep in thought. I shake my head. “Maybe I can help you with those cookies. I can be your sampler.” He say with a smile.

“Sure, I'll keep you in mind.” I say as the door bell rings. I chuckle as I stand up to get the pizza. I love when we can not be serious for a while, it feels good, very relaxing.




“So, I talked to Lou today.” Harry says as we're seated on the floor, almost all the pizza eaten. The first movie is on, but we've both seen it a hundred times, so we talk almost to the end of it, with the exception of a few scenes that we just have to see. “He said that you two have been talking for a while, but now you're not returning his calls?” He ask, sounding semi-interested, taking a bite of his last slice of pizza. I freeze. What? Louis told him? Holy shit! I feel my face turn red as I look at my greasy fingers.

“Ehh...what did he say?” I stutter, not sure of what I should say. I don't know how much Louis has told him. Did he tell Harry everything? Oh crap. I feel my breathing getting heavier.

“Not much, he seemed down so I asked him what was up and he said that you two started talking a while before you went to Philly and then he hasn't heard from you since you got back. I didn't know you two talked?” Oh! Good, he hasn't told him more. Harry wouldn't be this calm if he had. I don't think so anyway. I look up at him to read his expression, does he seem mad? No, I don't think so.

“Oh, well...” What do I say to that? My heart is beating so hard in my chest. “It just happened...eh...I didn't know how to tell you.” I say, feeling my cheek get warmer still. Can they get any worse?

“It's fine. I don't mind you becoming friends with my friends. It's actually nice. That way we're all friends.” He say and smile at me and I let out a breath of air that I didn't know that I was holding. “Just not Niall.” His smile fades and he shakes his head. I frown at him.

“What?” I ask bewildered, what's that suppose to mean?

“I think he has a thing for you. Or at least he wouldn't say no to it.” He say and winks at me. I look at him in horror. Niall? Oh the thought makes me ill. Not that there's anything wrong with Niall, he's sweet and all... it's just... the thought about me with yet another member of their band. Urgh! Talk about a whore. I shake my head.

“You don't have to worry about that.” I whisper and push the last peace of pizza away. My appetite is gone. He chuckles and turn to watch the movie.

I take a deep breath as I think about what he said. Louis seemed down? He even told Harry that we have been talking, sure that was an understatement, but still. Maybe I should at least give him the time to talk, even though he's an ass. I can't avoid him forever. Not if me and Harry's gonna be friends, that means I'm gonna run into Louis all the time. I'm just lucky that I've avoided him this long.

“Hey, I forgot to ask you.” Harry interrupts my thinking. “Niall's having some people over tomorrow, nothing too big, but you'll come right?” He smiles at me with anticipation. Oh. That means Louis will be there. Is that a good time to speak with him? Maybe it is, on common ground with people around us. Yeah, I think that's safest.

“Um...okey. I work to eight, but I can come after that.” I say and he smiles happily at me and turn back to the movie. My stomach clenches all of a sudden. Oh shit. What will I say to Louis?

---

“So, Louis told Harry.” I whisper to Lea as the next customer leaves the bakery. I've been working for about an hour and it's been crazy busy. There are a lot of people coming here on fridays, we can barely get a break. I've been running between the kitchen and the counter this hole hour and I'm already tired. Maybe because I couldn't sleep last night after Harry left. My nerves is too tight. I have to tell her, I can't keep it in anymore. I can't wait until it slows down, I have to talk. Otherwise I'll burst.

Her eyes pop open big and her mouth opens in shock. Oh!

“No, he didn't tell him that.” I hurry to say, stopping her from having a brain hemorrhage. That makes her frown as she takes the order of the next customer. I stomp my foot on the floor, waiting for this customer to be done.

“He hold him that we've been talking and that I'm not answering his calls.” I hurriedly whisper to her before the next person comes up to the disk.

“Oh! Well...you're not.” She say matter-of-factly. I frown at her. Of course, I know that.

“Yeah, but still, he said it to Harry.” I bite my lip. I wonder if he's told anyone else. Maybe some of the other guys know the truth? I doubt that, but you never know.

“Why aren't you talking to him? Let him explain.” She say, giving me a sweet smile. I know she's right, I've even decided that on my own. But I'm so nervous about it. What will he say? What will I say?

“I will. Harry want's me to come to Niall's this evening, he's having some people over. Will you come with me?” I ask, needing some support. From someone who knows the truth. Her face lights up.

“Of course! I'd love to. I love those guys.” She grins at me and I shake my head. She's like any other teenage girl in the country. Hooked on the delicious One Direction. Well, who can blame her? I can't really, specially since I'd...with two... uh! Don't go there!

---

I sit fiddling with my hands in my lap in the cab over to Niall's apartment. It's almost ten o'clock. I got from work a little after eight and went home to shower and get ready. Lea picked me up with the cab and now we're on the way. I'm so nervous that I'm sweating.

Lea pats my knee softly. “It will be fine.” She says with a smile. I answer her with a sound that's between a groan and a plea. I just want to bend forward and ask the driver to go back. I'm not sure that I can do this. Why did I think it was a good idea to see Louis with other people around? Such an idiot! Not that I want to see him alone either...

The cab stop outside the familiar apartment building and Lea pays the driver, an african american guy with dreads hanging long down his back. I stare with wide eyes at the grey stone wall with a double glass door. Lea opens my door and basically pulls me out.

“Come on sweetie.” Her voice is soft but firm. I stand on shaky legs as the cab drives off and my savior is gone. I look after the cab with panic rising in my body. Why, oh why? Why did I agree to this. Maybe he's sick. Yeah! Maybe he's not in there, he's gone to some other place tonight. Okay... I can deal with that.

I take those few steps to the front door and walk in as Lea holds the door open for me. It feels easier if I delude myself that he won't be there. Even though I deep down know that he will.

The elevator ride feels like an eternity, making my breathing uneven and I feel a little lightheaded. Lea knocks the door to Niall's apartment and opens the door without anyone answering it. I look shocked at her, but she waves her hand and pushes me inside. First person I see inside the apartment is one of their friends called Bob, but I think his real name is like Gary or something. We've said hi a few times before. I smile small at him and he hold his bottle of beer up in a greeting, then continues to talk to the girl beside him. My eyes scan the room and of course find Louis the first thing I do. He looks hot, his hair laying back in a crazy mess. He's wearing a white t-shirt and black jeans, fitted – showing just the right amount of his nice ass.

My eyes follow his fit arm down and look as it's resting it's hand on the small of the back of the person beside him. I look up the back where his hand is resting and the girl has long brown hair. I swallow hard. I feel Lea's presence beside me, but I can't take my eyes away.

Louis looks up right then and locks eyes with me. I first register shock in his eyes, it soon turns to confusion and then...shame, I think? He drops his hand from the girl and she turns around with a questioning stare. I can see her full face then and feel my heart stop. It's her. His ex. Eleanor, or El as Harry calls her. She even more beautiful in real life. Oh crap!

“Can we go?” I whisper to Lea, my voice so low that I don't even know if she can hear me over the music. I can't tear my eyes away from Louis, even though I don't want to see this. I see him hesitate, but then Eleanor says something to him and he breaks our stare to look at her, even just for a second and I can finally look away.

“Yeah, come.” Lea takes a hold of my elbow and pulls me towards the door. I feel my throat tightening as we get back into the elevator, but I take a deep breath and try to ignore it as best as I can. While out on the street we walk with fast legs down the street a few blocks. Finally I stop, my shaking legs can't walk anymore. I need a break.

“Here, let's go in here. We need a drink.” Lea say and points to the nearest bar, only a couple of feet down the street. I take those last steps with stiff legs and sit down at the nearest table by the window as Lea goes over to the bar.

What the hell just happened? Why did I react so hard to that? I knew Louis was an ass. I knew that he wasn't someone that I could trust. Not that he has ever given me the impression that I could. Though Philly was a false indication that he was different.

Lea puts a big glass of red wine in front of me as she sits down. I take a big gulp of it and feel the fruity liquid run down my dry throat.

“So...you like Louis.” Lea exclaim and I almost spit my wine. My eyes grow big.

“What? No.” I say, frowning. I feel my cheeks redden. What is she talking about?

“Aw, come on. It's obvious. Maybe not to him or anyone else, but I know you. You like him.” She say and take a sip of her wine. She give me that don't-even-try-to-deny-it stare. I sigh. Do I? Do I like like Louis?

Why else would I've let him stay at my dads house? Why would I've kiss him? Why would I've got upset when he didn't welcome me back when I got home and why did I care that he was at the party with his ex? Argh!

“I don't know.” I mumble, stroking the edge of the glass with my finger. “It's not like it matters.” I take another sip of my wine. I would like to gulp it all down, but that would seem a little desperate. Instead I take really big sips.

I guess it's true. I do like Louis. But that doesn't matter since he's unreliable and an asshole. Why couldn't I like Harry? Or Niall for that matter...right now he seems pretty damn good. Louis is fake and a fucking liar. Good! Keep this hate up, might make things easier. I don't want to like him, so I won't. I just have to find a way to not do it.

“Well, just ignore him for now. You'll feel better soon. Drink!” Lea say, smiling and holding her glass up for a toast. I chuckle at her, such a good friend she is. Getting me drunk so I can forget everything. I clink her glass and take another sip of the nice wine.

I pick my phone out of my pocket when I feel it vibrating.

From Louis
Please let me expl...

* Delete *

I can not deal with him right now. What's his excuse going to be this time? No, I don't want to care. I'm going to do everything to forget that he exist. Louis who?

“You need another one?” Lea ask, pointing at my almost empty glass. I nod at her and gulp down the remaining wine. I look around the bar as Lea walks over to the bar in the middle of the room. It's pretty empty for now, it will probably fill up around midnight. It's small but cozy with small tables, booths along the walls and I think there's one of those old jukeboxes in the corner. Why haven't we've come here before?

I can't help but smile at Lea as she comes over with two big drink glasses, this time it's not wine.

“I thought we needed something a bit stronger than the wine.” She grins at me. I look down at the oval glass with a pink liquid in it, a lot of ice and an umbrella. I shake my head and chuckle. I don't think I want to know what's in this.

“This looks lethal.” I say and swirl the little umbrella in the glass.

“It probably is. Drink!” She snickers. I take the glass to my lips and take a sip. At first it's a sweet taste but then comes something sour and I smack my lips together. It's strong, I'll admit that, but it's not that bad. It's pretty good actually.

“Hmm...not bad.” I say and we both smile and take another sip. I hear my phone buzz from the table and expect Louis to flash across my display, but get surprised as I see that it's Harry.

“Hi Harry.” I say, answering the phone and Lea's questioning gaze.

“Heey! Where are you?” He shouts over the loud music. Shit! I forgot that he was expecting me. I got lost in the event with...him.

“Um...I'm not coming.” I say, dragging out the g at the end and look over at Lea, trying to get some help with an excuse. Sick. She mouths to me. “I don't feel so good, I think I'm gonna stay in tonight.” I run my hand through my hair. Hating the words as they leave my mouth. I don't want to lie to Harry. I hate it.

“Oh, no! That's too bad. Are you gonna be okey? You want me to come over?” He ask with concern and I smile. How sweet isn't he? Why, oh why couldn't I be in love with him?

“No, no! No need. I'm just going to bed. You stay and have fun.” I say and hate myself for not telling Harry the truth. He's the best guy every – sweet, caring and fun. I should be a better friend to him, not lie. The thought makes me frown. Why am I lying to him? It's not like I want to help Louis out. Though I'm afraid that Harry will be angry or disappointed at me if he knows the truth.

“Okay. I'll call you tomorrow, I'll come by with soup or something.” He say and my heart stings. Fuck! Why am I the worst person ever?

“Yeah, yeah. Sounds good! Go have fun.” I say and hang up, but not before hearing several people shouting Louis, Louis! in the background, sounding like they we're sheering him on.

I sigh.

Why must life be so complicated sometimes? I gulp the rest of the drink down and stand up to fetch another one. I need to not remember.

Notes

I guess life is coming in the way right now. I can't find the time to write as often as I'd like. Hope you think it's okay with a little longer between chapters, even though I hate it. Hopefully I will find more time soon.

What do you think of the story so far? Do you like the last updates? What do you think will/want to happen? :D

Thank you for reading! Every comment make my day and pushes me to write more!

xx.