Reviews with the Reader

Quick question for anyone that's reading; is anyone else getting a mass of pop up adds from this website on their phone? For some reason I'm getting a hella ton.

Anyways, I really liked where this story is headed; I can defiantly see this one heading in the right direction! There were just a few things that I might tweak, but other than that you have done a nice job so far.

First, I feel like I'm not connecting with the characters as much as I could be. I want some insight to what there thinking. Much of your story is written in third person, but maybe you could put a little more third person omniscient in there. I say this because getting to know a character by what they are thinking can really help the reader connect to them on a deeper basis.

You have little grammar and spelling flaws; I can really tell you have put a lot of thought in to this story. Sometimes the best way of revising a chapter is to read it back to yourself out loud to see if it sounds choppy or if there are any mistakes. I say this because I found little to few mistakes in your chapters, but things like that can be fixed up with a double check. I do recommend this one a lot to many other writers, because if really does help.

Overall I really love this story so far it focuses on some of the deep outstanding issues still unfortunately in the world today. I also like the fact that it's a well written story. I know I don't have much to say, but sometimes that's a good thing! I'm hoping to read more of this story in the future. Thanks for the read!

Overall rating: 8.0

Notes

If you're unhappy with your review please let me know so that I can take it down ASAP. Thanks for all the support! Please comment and rate my page! Xoxo Cheers, ~Maggie