Reviews with the Reader

This story so far is good, it's super original too and I like that! There were just some issues, but they weren't huge.

Ok I'm going to do the biggest thing first, then go to the smaller things. When you put actions in you don't have to put them in quotes, for example:

" (giggles) I knew you were!"

You would do this a lot, and it just distracts the reader. Maybe you could change it to:

Giggling I replied, "I knew you were!"

It lets your writing flow better, and it doesn't distract the reader.

Also you had a few grammar mistakes, but they were small things. At the start of a quote, sentence, or proper nouns you need to capitalize the first letter. And as far as every thing else, just be sure your reading your chapters over again so you catch any other mistake you may have made.

And last but not least, make sure you don't get nodding your head and shaking your head mixed up. Nodding your head is saying 'yes', and shaking your head is 'no'. Sorry it's just one of those things that bother me.

Overall I really like your story! It's super original and seams like it could happen...we can all dream. Haha, well your doping a really good job, just fix the little things. Then it will be just that much better! Please continue!

Overall rating: 7.5

Notes

If you do not like your review, please ask me nicely to take it down. I will get it down ASAP, after requested.

@This_crazy_girl ❤

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