Reviews with the Reader

Well, this was an interesting story. It is one of the first Five Seconds Of Summer fan fictions I have read, but there were some small errors. Other than that I feel like it is original and good so far! Since your story was only two chapters, there isn't much to say just yet.

First up, I feel like you don't really know where you are going with this story. It almost seems random? I don't think that's the word I should use, but it will work for now. To fix things like this, you always need to make a plot map of the story that you're writing. Usually they look something like this:


Story maps or plots similar to this are usually thought of as very basic, but in writing a lot of times they are your best friend.

Also your chapters are somewhat short. If you add more details and descriptions then it will lengthen it. When you are writing your chapters, also remember not to rush. Many times writers get caught in the moment, and they tend to rush there thoughts more.

Finally, your grammar at some parts were off, but little things like this are easy to fix.

Overall, I can't really see where this story is heading, but once you develop the plot more confusion will clear. I can see potential behind this story, so use that to your advantage!

Overall rating; 7

Notes

If you find your review displeasing or offensive in any way, please tell me. I will take it down ASAP, upon request.

❤ This_crazy_girl

Sorry if there were any mistakes in this last one, I finished late and I'm very tired..., any way, Good Night!