Reviews with the Reader

So far this is pretty good! I like how the main character doesn't automatically open up to any one. There were just a few things that stood out, but they are easy fixes!

First things first, I noticed that you didn't have a charter list. I know it can be hard to find pictures and all, but you might want to put the character name. Also you didn't know the main girls name, Mia, until the end of chapter one. I mean it's not a huge deal, since you do find her name out. All it does is clear up any confusion the reader might have with characters.

Also just the little things such as grammar, but many people have those little mistakes. All I really saw were things like no punctuation at the end of each sentences, comma errors, and whether or not something is plural. All mistakes like this can be fixed easily, all you have to do is read over your work a few times before making it public. I suggest this a lot, but I really do think it helps.

And last but not least, I saw you sometimes used the wrong name for certain people. For example you used Sean for Harry, it might just be a auto correct issue.

Overall I thought this was a pretty good story! Your story line had an original twist to the "New Girl" kind of thing and it was well done!

Overall Rating: 7.5-8

Notes

Notes If you do not like the review that was given to you for any reason at all let me know, and I will take it down ASAP. I hope I helped you with creating a better story!

❤ This_Crazy_Girl

A/N: Sorry I didn't update for a while, but I had a good reason... I broke my right foots top bone. I was at the hospital for a while, and now I'm in a cast. </3