Forever Alone

You knew where he was. You wanted to call the boys but you couldn’t break your promise to Niall. You had to find him yourself. You were the only one who knew where he was. You grabbed your sweatshirt since it was a bit chilly outside well that’s what you could tell from the draft when your friends opened the door. You left Bridgette a note telling her that you went searching for Niall and that you couldn’t wait any longer. You had to find him. You needed to go to this secret place of his and talk to him. Find out why he is so mad.

You got into your car and drove off. You tried to remember how to get to his place. It was a lot darker then when you and Niall went the first time. You started recognizing land marks that meant you were getting closer. The roads seemed to wind around each bend creating more obstacles for you. You thought you had past the entrance to the woods yet you had just arrived. You pulled your car into the tiny parking lot on the side of the road. You didn’t see his car. Then again he probably took a taxi here. You unlocked your back door to your car and grabbed your flashlight. You turned it on and locked your car behind you.

You started walking through the woods stepping over big twigs that you could possibly trip over. You tried to maneuver your way through the woods attempting to find your way to the lake. You felt completely lost but then you heard the chirping of the crickets in the distance. You followed the sound until you were engulfed by the lake. You looked at a couple of the rocks that were around the lake. There was no sign of Niall. Maybe he wasn’t coming. Maybe he forgot about this place. Then you someone cursing. You couldn’t make out no figures around the lake. Then you saw something move. Shit this was it. Judith, you are going to be murder in the woods. Shit!

The figure sat up and turned towards you. Well, that’s what you thought. You had your flashlight pointed at the ground because you didn’t want to see the face of your murder. Then the figure got up and started walking towards you. Judith, just close your eyes and it will be all over. You reached in your pocket with your free hand and grabbed your car keys. Were you going to stab your murderer with your keys? Well, it would be better than doing nothing.

The figure got closer to you. Each step they took closer to you. The tighter you gripped your keys. You should just blind them with your flashlight then you might piss them off and make their rage increase. The figure was really close so you took your flashlight and blinded them. They screamed from the bright light and you dropped your keys in your pocket and used your free hand to push them over. The figure fell to the ground with a loud thud. They were lying on the ground groaning in pain. Nice going Judith. Now they are going to sue you for assault. You walked over to the figure to see if they were going to be okay and that they weren’t going to sue you. Then again you took a step forward but shortly moved back two steps. You were smart enough not to check if they were okay because they could be faking it and they can attack you once you get close enough.

“Shit, Judith,” the figure muttered.

Wait?!? The figure knew your name. Wow they must be your stalker too. Now this is getting creepier by the second.

“Now I definitely know why I call you Moody Judy,” the figure sat up.

“Niall?” you questioned.

“Who the fuck else would it be?” the figure asked

You shined the light on his face, “Gosh I am so sorry.”

“Just get that light out of my face,” he commented.

“Sorry,” you answered and ran over to him.

“Geez you yell at me to leave and now you follow me and push me over,” he answered.

You put your hand out, “Let me help you.”

He swatted your hands, “I don’t need your help. You have done enough damage.”

“Sorry Niall,” you looked down.

He laughed, “It is okay. I would’ve done the same thing.”

“It’s just that I was really scared,” you muttered.

He took your hand, “Its fine Judith.”

You guys walked over to the rock. He rubbed his butt. He must have fallen on a rock. Then again you didn’t push him that hard. He was lucky you didn’t try to stab him with your car keys. You guys sat on the rock. He was next to you and he was laying on his back looking up at the stars. You lied down next to him looking up at the stars.

“So, I guess you were telling the truth?” you questioned.

“About what?” he asked

“That you come here when you are frustrated or stressed,” you answered.

“Yeah, I have been dealing with a lot of stuff,” he replied.

“I’m sorry about yelling at you back at my apartment. Please don’t be mad,” you told him.

“I’m not mad about that Judith. Well, I really wanted to know what was wrong with you,” he leaned up on his elbow facing you.

“The boys are worried about you,” you told him.

“Judith, stop avoiding my question,” he told you.

“What question?” you asked

“What happened before with you when we were at your apartment?” he asked

“Nothing,” you lied.

“Judith, that state you were in wasn’t nothing,” he told you.

“Well, why did you come here?” you asked

“Oh nothing,” he smiled.

“Niall, you tell me first. Because everyone is worried about you and I want to know why you came all the way out here,” you told him.

“You aren’t going to push me off the rock are you?” he asked laughing a little bit.

“Niall, this is no time to laugh. If something is bothering you then you should get it off your chest,” you told him.

“Fine, I’m worried about this tour,” he commented.

“Why?” you asked

“I hate being away from my family,” he told you.

“You’ve done this before,” you answered, “Or is it because you have a girlfriend now.”

“No,” he answered quickly.

“Niall, is everything okay with you and Donna?” you asked

“No,” he repeated.

“What happened?” you asked

“She cheated on me. I was out with Louis one night and I saw her kissing another guy. She was practically in his pants. I approached them and broke up with her. She told me that she didn’t love me anyway so she was okay with it. I’m glad I found out about this before I went on tour,” he answered.

“Niall, it’s going to be okay,” you told him, “The boys will keep your mind off of her.”

“To tell you the truth I’m glad we broke up. I don’t think I could make distance work. I look up to you and John for making distance work in a relationship,” he answered.

“Yeah thanks,” you answered.

“Plus, I wasn’t really in love with her as everyone thought I was,” he laid back down on his back.

“What do you mean?” you asked

“It never felt right when I was with her ya know?” he asked

“What do you mean?” you repeated.

“When you kiss the one or whatever they call it there should be fireworks. I mean she was a great kisser and stuff but it didn’t feel right. There was something missing,” he told you.

“Well, you got to date other people until you find that one,” you told him.

“You think John’s your one?” he asked

“I don’t know,” you answered.

“Not so sure are we?” he asked

“It’s just that he really hasn’t been around and it hurts. Like really bad,” you told him.

“Judith, just so you know I will never leave you,” he grabbed your hand.

You looked at his hand, “Thanks. Most people say that to me but the normally leave shortly after.”

“No. I promise Judith. Louis told me that you have been through a lot,” he answered.

“What did he tell you?” you asked getting a little scared

“He told me that you have been through a lot and that you are stronger then you look. He didn’t go into too much detail,” he answered.

“Oh…Okay…Good,” you answered.

“Why?” he asked

“You wouldn’t understand,” you replied.

“Judith, I want to know. I’m here for you,” he rubbed his thumb along the top of your hand.

“It’s a long story,” you looked at him.

“The boys won’t be finding us anytime soon so we got nothing but time,” he smiled.

You took a deep breath. Were you really going to tell him all about you? Did you really want someone else to know your story? Then again you always felt like you could trust Niall. He was a friend of yours. And he promised that he would always be there for you. You had to tell him. He had been waiting so patiently.

“So it all began after my parents got divorce, my brother told us that he was gay, and I got my first boyfriend,” you started, “I was broken from all the negativity going on in my life. My brother was gone to who knows where. I had a baby sister to take care of because my parents were always fighting when we were around. Steve was my only escape from it all. Steve at first was a normal guy but as time passed he got violent. He started to beat me and at first it hurt. But the more my parents fought the more I wanted Steve to beat me. The more he had beaten me the more the feeling went away. It felt good because it felt like he was beating the hurt out of me. The problems I had been facing were just seeping out after each blow that Steve threw. After my parents had settled their differences and my dad moved out did the pain stop but Steve kept beating me. One time he had beaten me so hard that he broke one of my ribs and I punctured one of my organs in my body. I was in the hospital for a month. My dad wanted me to get a restraining order and file a police report but I couldn’t. I didn’t want Steve to have another reason to come after me. Then after all the Steve stuff cleared over I started having dreams. Dreams that felt so real that I couldn’t wake up from them. I didn’t leave my mom’s house for anything. It wasn’t until I realized that I needed help. I went to a special hospital and I got better. Then Bridgette and Rachel told me that they were coming here to finish college and they wanted to take me with them. I left my old life behind and started a new one. I had to forget about the old Judith and create a whole new one.”

Niall looked like he was about to cry, “I’m sorry Judith.”

“There is nothing you could’ve done. I told him to keep beating me,” you told him.

“I won’t let that happen to you again,” he told you.

“Niall, you can’t predict how other people act,” you answered.

“I can change how I act and I will never do that to you,” he replied.

“Why would you beat me when you don’t even love me,” you told him.

“I…do…love…you,” he told you.

“What?” you asked

“Judith, I love you,” he answered.

Before you could speak he leaned in and kissed you. It felt amazing. You have been waiting for this since you first met him. You have had dreams about him during your fangirling stage yet this one felt more real than in your dreams. He pulled away and he had a shocked look on his face.

“Sorry, you are with John,” he whispered.

“John who?” you asked