It Never Ends

*Louis’s POV*

I nearly got into a wreck, racing to Zayn’s house. I was determined to talk with illianna and not to leave unless I did.

Zayn couldn’t stop me from talking to his sister. Even if there were other girls out there, illianna was mine.

The left side of my cheek was swollen from where Zayn had punched me. It’s safe to say that I should never take my eyes off him. Especially when he’s angry.

I’m not sure where he and Ariana ran off to, but it was a good thing that they did. I had things to say to illianna that no one should hear.

My stomach flipped as I drove up the Malik’s driveway. Their car was parked, which meant that Zayn was home. But I stick with my plan.

Talking with illianna is more important than dealing with her possessive brother. But that fact that Zayn can have violent outbursts is a worry.

I was already punched once. But if it means getting my ass whooped by Zayn in order to win illianna, I wouldn’t mind have a swollen face or bruised ribs.

Nerves flooded my way as I made my way up to the front door. There were no noises coming from the inside of the house, but there will be as soon as I ring the doorbell.

I take a couple breaths and ignore my beating heart as I put my finger on the doorbell. I press it slightly, hearing the sound chime from the inside of the house.

I stood patiently, but nervous waiting for a response.

The door opened and Zayn stood in the doorway, rubbing his forehead. He looked at me, and rage took over his eyes again.

“Dammit Louis!” he snaps. “I told you to just leave her alone.”

I back down just a bit, but restrain myself.

“Look, if you don’t want me around her Zayn, then that’s fine. Just let me at least talk to her. Let me finish what I started.” I said.

“Lou, you already hurt her once today. If I let you talk to her, you might just make matters worse.” Zayn explains.

“All I want is to just talk to her alone.” I admit. “If I didn’t care about her, I wouldn’t have left my party for her, I wouldn’t have stayed the night with her, I wouldn’t have asked for your permission to date her or to talk to her, and I wouldn’t be here!” I yell.

Zayn calms a bit and steps back. He raises his arm against the door frame, causing me to prepare my reflexes if he tries to swing at me again.

We stay put without saying a word to each other. I felt as if I wasn’t going anywhere and that the situation wouldn’t be solved, so I quietly turn around.

I stop when Zayn begins to talk lightly.

“There are a million of other sisters in the world Louis. Why did you have to fuck with mine?” he snarls.

I continue to stand in front of him, waiting to see if he would change his mind. He stays leaning against the door frame with his head and arm resting on it.

“She’s in her room.” Zayn whispers to me, finally. I smile in my head.

“Erm, I’ll just let myself up.” I cough, awkwardly.

Zayn nods without making eye contact with me and opens the door so I can enter.

I walk upstairs to illianna’s room and knock softly, hoping she would hear.

“Louis?” illianna questions as she opens the door, her eyes red.

She’s been crying for a while.

“Hey. May I talk to you?” I ask.

She nods. “I think that’s a good idea.”

illianna welcomes me into her room and grabs my hand, leading me to her bed. I notice that her red Converse are still by the side of her bed where I left them, the night of the party.

I’m surprised that Ariana isn’t here.

illianna sits me on the her bed and looks at me, preparing to speak. She has a lot of things on her mind.

“You can speak first.” I say, giving her the floor.

She chuckles. “On Saturday, when we were on the practice field, we both said a few things regarding our feelings for one another.” She begins.

“And we may have said a few things that we didn’t mean.” She finishes.

Nerves begin to flood my mind again.

“I meant everything I said.” I whisper.

“No, no. You didn’t mean what you said. You just have a secret crush on me, but you’re not in love with me. We’re too young for this. I’m too young for this.” She explains.

“Lily, no matter how much differences we have in our feelings, the both of us care way too deeply for each other. That’s a bond that can never be broken. Not even for you.” I say.

illianna smirks and sighs. “Look Lou, you gave me a strong piece of advice. I’ll take it to heart. But I think it’s time for you to leave now.” She says getting up from the bed.

“I’m still going to have these feelings for you Lily.”

“Oh my God! You know what I see going on between us? A dream. A fantasy. Two young people looking for love that isn’t even here.” Lily scoffs.

“Lily, I already told you that I loved you. And that I have something to offer to you. I don’t see why you can’t just understand it.”

“Well it’s not going to be like that Louis! You have your own life to live, so stop trying to be part of mine.” She snaps.

I look at her as if her mind is being over powered by something else. A few days ago, she was wrapped around my waist and kissing me. Now she hates me. Teenage girls are so complicated.

“You see that right there Lily. That’s your problem. Everyone who wants to care about you and love you are the ones who you push away. Why do you do that?” I ask upset.

“Look. I told you that I loved you, and I do. I love you as a person and you will always be a part of me. But I’m sorry for giving you the idea that I was so madly in love with you. If I wouldn’t have said that, we wouldn’t be going through this, you and Zayn wouldn’t be arguing, you wouldn’t have gotten hit.” She says pointing to my cheek.

“True, but I forgive you Lily.” I sigh grabbing her arm for the second time.

“Well I don’t want your forgiveness Louis! I was the one who provoked all of this by kissing you the very first night we were together.”

I sigh roughly, knowing this conversation will be going know where. I might as well get over the fact that illianna won’t be mine, and that I should just forget about her.

“Alright. I get it. I knew I should have just listened to your brother and never lay my eyes on you.” I spat, getting up from her bed to leave. I don’t know why I was taking this all out on her.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at practice. Just forget everything I told you. I didn’t mean it anyway.” I mock her.

I open her door but illianna grabs me by my hand again, pulls me back in, and closes the door again.

“This doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends.” She quickly says.

“Why would I be your friend when I like you more than a friend? It won’t work out. It’s best of we just go our separate ways now.” I confess.

“And then what? Go back to being strangers. I don’t see why we can’t be friends. If sparks fly between us in the future, then we could give it another shot. But until then, let’s just get to know each other a little more.” illianna persuades.

I throw my head back and beat myself up mentally. This was such a struggle for me.

The only reason I want to date her now is so that no one else gets her. And then all of the other girls who like me in school could back away.

But illianna insists on being friends.

I guess that’s better than not talking to her at all.

“Fine. We’re friends.” I give in, holding my hand out to her.

illianna laughs and shakes my hand. “Friends.” She agrees.

I feel the sparks fly instantly between us. Our hand grip is tight and we are staring at each other again. I reluctantly let go, to prevent any awkwardness.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” illianna says reaching up to kiss my still-swollen cheek. “Sorry about what Zayn did.”

“Don’t worry about this. It could have been worse.” I answer in all seriousness. I feel a little better now that she kissed me.

“Bye Louis, my friend.” She waves to me.

“Bye Lily, my friend.” I return.

I exit her room and walk back down the stairs. Zayn is sitting on the sofa with textbooks spread around him which reminds me of my own work that I have to complete.

I always say fuck homework. But I still do it though.

Zayn waves at me and puts a small grin on his face. I return the grin.

“Sorry about today. I would take it back if I could.” He apologizes.

“It could have been worse.” I repeat to him, as what I said to illianna.

I wave back at him and let myself out their house.

Becoming friends with illianna is not what I wanted, but it’s better than going the rest of the year not talking to her.

If only she had just become my girlfriend though. But you don’t always get what you want in life.

What happened today shouldn’t bother me, but it does.

I shouldn’t have never thought about illianna the way I did, but I do.

I should hate her, but I don’t.

Notes

Ahhh.
They're friends!
Will they be more?

This happened to me too!

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