It Never Ends

*illianna's POV*

The week eventually caught up to Friday, which was the third playoff game against Clements High School.

I was a little paranoid about this game for all obvious reasons.

I was worried about Nathan, Louis, and about advancing into the fourth round.

Clements was a tough team of highly skilled. All the players were trained to play their positions correctly and hardly let any balls get past them.

Our school is able to beat some of the finest schools who had a good soccer teams, but it was going to be hard to tell if Clements will be a challenge.

"I'm going to be honest," Louis spoke as we were driving to the stadium. "I'm a little nervous."

I sighed tried to keep my heart rhythm from increasing its beat.

Whether if he was nervous about the game or Nathan, it worried me.

"Don't be. Just thinking just came as the last one, quick and easy." I tried to encourage.

"It's hard to think like that when this school has won the championships more than once." Louis sighed.

"Even if they have won championships, you said this was going to be our year so don't doubt it." I huffed.

Louis chuckled and turned to wink at me. He placed his hand on my knee where he usually keeps it when I'm in the car with him.

I look back to see Zayn and the rest of the players tailing behind us. Each of them in separate cars.

"And what about Nathan?" Louis finally spoke.

"What about him?" I shrugged.

Louis didn't answer. He took his hand off of my knee and kept his gaze strong on the busy highway.

I assumed that I did something wrong and remained quiet the rest of the drive.

We both did.

We soon pulled into the stadium and met up with some of the other players.

Zayn and the rest of our crew soon arrived and had to follow the head coach into the locker rooms.

Louis grabbed his back from his car and took my hand, leading me inside the entrance.

"Hopefully I'll be able to see you from the field." He said, still nervous.

I felt bad for making him even more nervous than he already was so I embraced him into a hug.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Don't be. I just get a little jealous." He whispered back.

"For what? I'm never going to leave you."

He laughed. "I get jealous because I'm afraid someone is going to come and make you happier than I do."

I kissed him.

"I like that you get jealous. It lets me know that you care." I smiled. "But forget about me for second. Go on and win this game, you and the boys. Good luck!"

He kissed me one last time before walking into the building.

"I just want you to be happy!" I yelled to him.

He smirked and walked back to me.

"Just so you know that when I think of happy, I think of you." He kissed me again.

He ran into the locker room leaving me behind with an over excited smile.

I could feel my dimples creeping into my cheeks.

I swear that Louis could make me feel as the only one that he could ever love.

"Come on Little Miss sunshine." Ariana called for me.

I turned my head towards her to see her waiting for me near the stadium entrance.

"He treat you like a princess, doesn't he?" She asked as I walked up to her.

"So much. I'm so grateful for him." I chanted, walking up to the stands.

The only people on our side of the field where the rest of the soccer girls while Clements had a full audience.

No one from our school really came to support the soccer games anyway.

"I can tell." Ariana spoke. "You two are always together. Me and you don't even hang out anymore."

"I know, and I'm so sorry." I pleaded. "It's just--"

"It's okay Lily." She giggled. " I'm not trying to take you away from him."

"Louis just makes me feel so..."

"So loved? So appreciated?" She guessed.

I shook my head still dreaming of him.

"That's the best way to feel. I can tell that he truly loves you." Ariana informed me.

"How do you know?"

"Isn't it obvious? Louis looks at you the way all girls want to be looked at. You two deserve each other. You deserve to be happy." She pulled me into her arms.

I hugged her back, something I haven't done in a while. I missed her and her warm hugs.

"You are the best bestest friend ever." I cried.

"I'm here and I always will be. Now let's go watch our boys play!" She hollered.

We climbed onto the bleachers as our boys walked onto the field in their red and white uniforms.

We clapped when Clements appeared.

I didn't see any sign of Nathan.

The game officially started and I tried to relax and watch, but I got so nervous.

Clements was really good.

It seemed that whenever we got an advantage, Clements still got the upper hand.

After Clements made their first goal, I excused myself and walked out into the parking lot when halftime was called.

I knew that the boys were upset and I didn't want to see them lose.

They have worked really hard to get here and we definitely hadn't driven this far to lose.

"illianna?" A voice called from behind me.

I turned around to see no other than my ex-boyfriend Nathan Sykes.

"Nathan?" I asked confused.

He wasn't dressed in his soccer uniform. Instead, he wore a blue and white button up shirt with jeans and black Converse.

He still look the same since the last time I saw them. Two years hadn't done much for him as it did for me.

"What are you doing here by me? Get away from me!" My voice started to rise.

Nathan put His finger to his mouth to tell me to keep quiet. He tried to walk towards me but I quickly went to step back.

"illianna, please." He held up his hands to let me know that he wasn't going to do anything.

"What do you want from me?" I asked.

"I-I saw you in the stands. And I saw you walk over here. I just wanted to talk to you." He explained.

I wrapped my arms around my own body as if they were a protective barrier.

I didn't know whether to trust him anymore.

"What do you want?" I asked again sharply.

"Just uh, how have you been?" He asked.

I gave him a quizzical look. Had he really walked out this way just asking that?

"I've been real great." I finally responded.

"I uh, I quit the team. I had to. I tore my ACL last season my doctors hadn't cleared me." He informed me.

That explains why he wasn't dressed in uniform. But I just nodded making know I was listening.

"Just in case you were curious of why I wasn't playing." He added.

"I hadn't realized." I Smiled, lying at the same time.

"Don't tell me you forgot about me?" He wondered.

"How could I? You changed me into a different person the last time I saw you." I snarled.

Nathan looked at me with guilt in his face. Hurt in his eyes. But I'm not going to let it affect me.

"illianna, I'm not here to hurt you. Can you please stop thinking it?" He begged. "I don't want to hurt you more than what I already did."

"Well then can I go?" I yelled.

He sighed and looked away. I tried my best to walk away but he stopped me.

"Do you remember that wall of pictures in my room that I had of us?" He asked me.

I nodded.

"There were so many pictures of us on that wall that I forgot what color that wall was." He grinned.

I remembered that wall. And I remembered my last encounter with that wall.

"Your walls were white, Nathan." I told him.

He shook his head. "My walls are gray, illianna."

"Well that wall was white."

"All of my walls are gray."

"No, that wall was white. I remember because when I saw you cheating on me, you hit me in my face and pushed me into that wall making red streaks on it from the blood dripped from my nose." I reminded him.

He flashed a look of sorrow on his face. I know that he had to remember.

"illianna, listen, i'm sorry." He whispered. "What I did to you was unforgivable and I'm not here to beg for forgiveness or anything. I just want to say I'm sorry for cheating on you and for hitting you. It was wrong and you have every right to hate me, but I don't want you to."

I was stunned, but didn't show it. I would forgive him, but I couldn't.

"Okay." I finally said.

"Okay?" He repeated. "That's all I get?"

"What more do you need?" I scoffed.

"An apology?" He stated.

I scoffed again. "No. Fuck an apology. I'm not sorry for anything."

"So that's it? You don't care about my feelings?" He asked me as if I was the bad guy.

"I don't give a fuck about your feelings because you obviously didn't give a fuck about mine." I growl.

He shakes his head again in frustration and anger.

"What else has anyone or anything done to you that made you this cold?" He snarls at me.

"This is me." I retaliate. "I already told you that you were the one that changed me."

Nathan fidgets and steps back. I leave him behind and walk back into the stadium stands.

The second half of the game has already begun. And I missed a majority of it because of that asshole.

"What took you so long?" Ariana asked as I sat down beside her.

"I ran to the bathroom." I lie, spotting Louis running with the ball.

He doesn't let the ball get away from him and he kicked it into the goal, giving us the point.

The girls and I stand up and scream as a score ties to 1-1. More hope is put into us.

But the hope doesn't last long.

Clements scores another goal and the 90 minutes eventually passes.

The final score is left with 2-1.

We lost.

Clements dances off of the field with victory as our boys lie on the ground.

Each boy lies covering their faces while others stomp and pound their fists on the grass.

This game had just became their last. We are no longer advancing into the playoffs and we won't be at finals.

I look back on the field and see the boys wiping the tears from their eyes.

It reminded me from when me and the girls lost against Claremont.

I know what it's like to feel burned down when you lose something that you worked so hard for.

One by one, each of the boys begin to walk off the field with their heads down.

I walked down to Zayn and gave him a hug the way I gave the rest of the guys before walking over to Louis.

He looked at me with his red eyes and sweaty face before I brought him back into my arms again.

"I'm so sorry." I cried with him.

He didn't say nothing. He locked his fingers with mine and led me off of the field and into the locker room. He grabbed his bag and led us back out into the parking lot.

He settled me into the car before getting himself in. He then put his keys into the ignition, started the engine, and drove away.

Notes